First of all, I just want to say how honored and humbled I am to have the opportunity to write for the most prestigious SEC football blog that is less than a month old. I also would like to thank Drew for showing me around the SDS offices, which are efficient yet plush. Color me impressed.
Given my expansive vernacular and plethora of wit, you probably guessed that I was educated in Kentucky. In which case, you would be correct. I earned an impressive 3.1 GPA from the prestigious Shelby County High School, and I am a proud alumnus of the University of Kentucky. I am not biased, I just think UK is the best school athletically and academically, and all the other schools are not as good. You can try and send me links to internet web sites like the New York Times or U.S. Reports to try and prove the contrary, but you’re only wasting your time. I don’t listen to the liberal media.
Here are my projections for the Cayuts this season:
@ Louisville – Sept 4, 2010 – W 20 to 14
The story lines for this matchup could not be any hotter. Two brand new coaches squaring off in The Oven, formerly known as Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium. Chaz Strong, the newly knighted coach of the Filthy Cards, has a reputation as a recruiting dynamo after his stint with the Gatas from Gainsville. Coach Chuck has really get people talking here in Louisville, starring on numerous billboards across town, emblazoned with a tag line playing off of Charles’ last name. Needless to say, there is a ‘L’ of a lot of excitement swirling around the Derby City.
Across the field from Coach Chachi, will be Joker “Don’t Call Me Funny” Phillips in Blue. Phillips, a long time assistant under Rich “The Riverboat Gambler” Brooks, spent the past several seasons calling bubble screens from the booth as the Original OC. The marketing department in Lexington pulled out a failed basketball campaign and claims that Phillips has his boys “Gam3day Ready” for Charlie and Co. Either Coach Cal has a walk on suiting up to beat zone defenses, or the offense is built around Craig McIntosh and his magic leg. Not sure what it means, but I think it is obviously the most genius marketing campaign ever.
This one has all the making of a down south barn burner, a high scoring, rip roaring affair. But it won’t be. Both team will come out sputtering, but the Cayuts will leave with a 20-14 W.
Western Kentucky – Sept 11, 2010 – W 42 to 6
I agree with Drew here [view Drew’s projection], WKU isn’t D1-A caliber yet, nor will they ever be in football. Freshman and twofur (Scholly payers who brought on their high school buddies) walk ons will see the field in this one. Fireworks early and often.
Akron – Sept 18, 2010 – W 49 to 14
Akron surprises some folks by bringing in LeBron James to play in the marching band, entertaining the Big Blue Faithful during the halftime festivities. Both teams have a great time and share Capri Suns and orange slices after the game. A really fun family Saturday.
@ Florida – Sept 25, 2010 – L 21 to 35
@Florida is never good. The Cayuts play well enough to keep fans positive for the remainder of the season, but yeah this one has “painful” written all over it. Look for Kentucky fans to talk a lot of trash going into this game.
@ Ole Miss – Oct 2, 2010 – W 28 to 14
While most of the Rebel faithful are still singing Dixie and taking Facebook pics with the banished ‘Colonel Reb,’ the Bluegrass Boys will be prepping for a good ole fashioned beat down. Most teams struggle in Oxford because the high levels of bourbon whisky and sundresses in the area, but the long, hot days down at Keeneland will have prepared our guys well for this showdown. Cats in a big way.
Auburn – Oct 9, 2010 – W 21 to 17
War Eagle, Tiger, Toliet Paper holders. Whatever words you followed “Auburn” with before this week, you now use the words: “is in trouble.” The Cayuts took a big one from Wayne’s World last year, and he won’t leave Commonwealth Stadium any happier.
South Carolina – Oct 16, 2010 – W 35 to 28
The Curse of the Visor has haunted the Cayuts for some time. Whether its a Thursday night in Primetime, or a Saturday morning on JP Sports, Kentucky always seems to struggle against the other USC. I read somewhere that Blake Mitchell has turned his life around and apologized to that bouncer, so maybe Coach will give him a second go round. Viva forgiveness.
Georgia – Oct 23, 2010 – W 28 to 21
Georgia’s roster doesn’t have a section for hair color, so I can only assume they have more Gingers, or “Day Walkers” than Kentucky. Obviously this is a strong indicator of success or failure, because Joe Cox was a ginger, and he was terrible. Until I see that stat, I have Kentucky winning big.
@ Mississippi State – Oct 30, 2010 – L 24 to 35
Kentucky will have 100 more rushing years and 125 more passing yards than the Croom’s Goons. And even though the Mustached One no longer coaches there, Kentucky will astonishingly lose this one.
Charleston Southern – Nov 6, 2010 – W 51 to 3
Charleston Southern looks to break the gender barrier with a woman quarterback according to my sources. I wish her and her team the best, and I think this is a good thing for the sport, and America. But they lose big here.
Vanderbilt – Nov 13, 2010 – W 28 to 10
@ Tennessee – Nov 27, 2010 – L 17 to 28
Is this the year we break the curse? Nope. Tennessee rolls.
Tyler Montell predicts the Kentucky Wildcats to go 9-3 with two losses late in the season.
About Tyler Montell
Tyler Montell is a guest writer for Saturday Down South. He is an excellent source for information related to the University of Kentucky. He graduated from the University of Kentucky in 2009 and served as President of the student body. He also held a position on the University’s Board of Trustees during that time. He is an avid basketball and football fan. Tyler now attends Law School at the University of Louisville. He grew up in Shelbyville, Kentucky, where he became good friends with Drew, one of the main editors for Saturday Down South. We hope you enjoy his fresh approach to football commentary.