Published January 11, 2011 - 9:16am
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We’ll it’s been 3 weeks since his retirement and Urban Meyer must already be sick of his wife and kids. Welcome to the real world, Urban.
There is a moment of sheer panic as Auburn fans see Nick Saban on the Gameday set. (In the postgame, Saban accidently referred to Oregon as “We”, before correcting himself.)
Alcohol will be a factor in this game. Bowl games allow drinking in the stadium, so it will be critical to see how the two fan bases respond to the uninterrupted consumption. Auburn has a huge advantage when it comes to in-stadium drinking. I’ve seen Auburn campus police kick girls out of games for not smuggling a bottle of bourbon in their purse under a pile of tampons.
Sportsbook.com offered odds of 1000 to 1 on “No offensive TD scored”. You give me 1000 to 1 odds, I’m taking it every time. I got $100 on nothing but pick 6’s, and safeties.
For $3k you can scalp a ticket to the BCS Championship game. For the price of 60 tickets you can get yourself a Cam Newton.
Not the start Nike was looking for. Oregon kick returner Josh Huff slips on the turf twice on the opening kick return. Thanks for the shoes, Phil! Maybe if Oregon wouldn’t wear their socks over their shoes they would have better traction.
Interesting play for the Ducks as QB Darron Thomas runs up to the 1st down marker then laterals the ball 5 yards backwards. 2 plays later the Ducks punt. This offense is unpredictable!
On 3rd and 17 Darvin Adams pulls out the alligator arms on what would have been a 25 yard gain. It will take a few drives for Auburn’s receivers to adjust to the lack of speed in the Oregon secondary.
LaMichael James is fast, fast, fast.
LaMichael James is Spanish for The Michael James.
Oregon’s cheerleaders are unbelievable. There is no way these girls are students at Oregon. I’m guessing Phil Knight went out and bought Arizona State’s cheerleaders.
Pick! Auburn’s defense is going to give the Ducks a lot of trouble.
Pick! Oregon’s defense is going to give the Tigers a lot of trouble.
Darron Thomas said before the game that Nick Fairley is a dirty player. After watching Fairley blow through Oregon’s line and forcing Thomas into an interception, I completely agree. Fairley is filthy!
End of 1st Auburn 0 Oregon 0
Oregon starts the 2nd Qtr on Auburn’s 3 but Nick Fairley single handedly holds the Ducks to a FG. The two best players on the field are Nick Fairley and The Michael James.
14:13 2nd Oregon 3 Auburn 0
My “No Offensive TD’s” bet is looking brilliant.
Cam Newton nearly threw a pick on 1st down, but refs ruled the Oregon defender never had possession. 1 play later Newton hits Kodi Burns for a 35 yard TD.
So much for my bet. I feel like the old guys at the end of Trading Places. “My God, we’re ruined.”
12:00 2nd Auburn 7 Oregon 3
Oregon is taking advantage of every opportunity to make the unnecessary lateral. Each time they pitch the ball the play goes for 5 less yards.
Well, Auburn and I both feel silly for falling for the old terrible lateral gimmick as Oregon goes over the top for an 81 yard gain. 3 plays later Thomas hits The Michael James for a TD.
How do these Ducks fly with such huge balls? Oregon’s kicker and punter run a textbook option for a 2 point conversion. Giant Duck Balls.
10:58 2nd Oregon 11 Auburn 7
We’re starting to see more offense from both teams.
Musburger says Cecil Newton isn’t in the stadium, but is probably watching on TV. You can’t prove that, Brent. You don’t know. I hate when journalists editorialize.
“Cam, it’s the Hesiman trust. Yeah, we just saw you short arm that pass on 4th and goal and we’re going to need you to send the trophy back. We’ve made a huge mistake. “
Newton’s mistake is America’s gain. OREGON CHEERLEADERS!!!
What I love most about Oregon’s Cheerleaders (in no particular order)
- Their uniforms tip-toe the line between sexy and slutty.
- They have no ‘roided out dudes with flattops (If they do they are smart enough not to put them on TV.)
Honestly, we’re about to see what Cam Newton is made of.
Auburn’s Mike Blanc makes things a little easier for Cam with a big safety. This game has been strange. Even the score is strange.
3:26 2nd Oregon 11 Auburn 9
“Heisman trust, yeah, it’s Cam. Kiss my ass, this is my trophy!”
Newton responds with a 30 yard TD to Emory Blake. This kid is ice cold.
1:47 2nd Auburn 16 Oregon 11
No Hail Mary tonight, for Auburn.
I haven’t seen an Oregon Cheerleader in 10 minutes. Make some adjustments during halftime and give the girls something to cheer about, Chip!
Half Auburn 16 Oregon 11
Oregon has 37 rushing yards in the 1st half. They would have 238 yards if it wasn’t for terrible laterals.
Players are slipping all over the place. Grass isn’t growing well in the middle of the desert? Weird.
After a long drive, Auburn has to settle for a 28 yard FG. ESPN shows Auburn’s cheerleaders. Way too many dudes.
14:13 3rd Auburn 19 Oregon 11
Oregon Cheerleaders!!! ESPN is trying to will the Ducks back into the game.
Nick Fairley gets called for a personal foul after slamming The Michael James’ head into the turf after a tackle. Herbstreit and Musburger use the opportunity to talk about how dirty he is.
2 plays later Fairley crushes Thomas for a sack and says to Thomas, “You say I’m dirty, yet you’re the one with a clump of dirt stuck in your facemask.” He said this with a British accent.
Cam Newton overthrows Darvin Adams on what should have been an easy 77 yard TD. When Newton misses on a pass you know it the second he releases the ball.
Oregon Punter Jackson Rice shows Darron Thomas how to break down a defender and get the ball to a receiver on the daring fake punt conversion for a 1st down. Gene Chizik will have nightmares about Ducks with Giant Balls tonight.
That’s the thing about having Giant Balls. Sometimes they get in the way. Oregon gets stuffed on 4th and goal.
Auburn’s front four has been the difference tonight.
During the break, Clay Matthews stars in a touching commercial for a muscle disease called Duchenne. It’s a sweet thought, but the muscles in Clay’s neck are so huge I can’t focus on the message. The cure to the muscle disease has to be somewhere in Clay Matthews’ neck.
End of the 3rd Auburn 19 Oregon 11
I can’t say this enough: Nick Fairley is a beast! He’s playing himself into the #1 pick in the NFL draft.
Did the Cheerleaders go home? What are you doing to us, Chip Kelly?
Cam Newton busts an 18 yard run on 3rd and 12. He comes up a little lame after a big hit, but trust me, that run hurt Oregon more than it hurt Cam. As a result, Auburn is able to burn an additional 4 minutes off the clock.
Auburn has controlled the ball, but Oregon has still managed to keep it a 1 score game. Does anyone doubt that this game will be tied at some point?
Auburn’s D-line does it once again on 3rd and 3. Antoine Carter blows up The Michael James for a 4 yard loss. Oregon punts.
Where are all these Matthews hippie-freaks coming from? Casey Matthews (brother of huge necked Clay) forces a game saving Cam Newton fumble and keeps Oregon in the game. Vikings! They’re Vikings, I tell you!
Duck Balls sighting! 4th and 5 on the Auburn 40, and Thomas completes a 30 yard pass to D.J. Davis.
Touchdown, Oregon! The Michael James pumps it in from the 2 yard line.
Ducks Balls! Giant Duck Balls! Darren Thomas throws a no look pass to Jeff Maehl. Conversion is GOOD. This game is tied. This game is legendary.
OREGON CHEERLEADERS!!! Thank you, Chip Kelly. Thank you.
2:33 4th Auburn 19 Oregon 19
Did Oregon leave Cam Newton too much time?
Run, Dyer, Run!!!! I think we know the play will be replayed forever.
This game will come down to Auburn’s All-Time scoring leader, Wes Byrum.
Before Byrum can be the hero, Michael Dyer tries to win the damn thing himself. The replay shows he’s down on the ½ yard line. Cam or Wes? Cam or Wes? Either way, life just got a lot easier for the Auburn Tigers.
Wes Byrum , you just won the National Championship.
Final Score Auburn 22 Oregon 19
It doesn’t get better than that. Congratulations to the Oregon Ducks. You played your Giant Duck Balls off tonight, but the better team won.
The SEC continues to dominate the BCS and College Football. The SEC is 7-0 in BCS National Championship games, with 5 different winners (Florida 2, LSU 2, Alabama, Auburn, and Tennessee).
Gene Chizik, Cameron Newton, Nick Fairley, Michael Dyer, Wes Byrum and the rest of the 2010 Auburn Tigers are National Champions.
“Today, I can tell you this: We are the best football team in the United States of American, and War Eagle!” – Gene Chizik, January 10, 2011.