Published September 5, 2011 - 7:47am
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Recappin’ a weekend of SEC Football action with a little attitude…
I could start this article by saying something like “College Football is Back!” But to say it’s back would insinuate that at some point college football left, which it never does. The 8 month off-season consisted of recruiting, spring football, summer workouts, summer practices, weed busts, fights, weapons charges, minor NCAA violations, major NCAA violations, coaching changes, conference changes and tree poisonings. College Football never leaves, which is why it is the most interesting sport in America.
Iowa State fans were watching the first 56 minutes of the Auburn – Utah State game and thinking, “Now this is the Gene Chizik we remember.” Everyone knew that Auburn would take a step back after losing Cam Newton and Nick Fairley, but nobody expected them to get pushed around by the 3rd best team in Utah. It’s seems crazy on paper that Utah State could physically match up with the defending national champions, but that is exactly what happened. Utah State’s head coach Gary Anderson said he felt that his team was stronger and faster than Auburn, and I completely agree. Utah State looked like a prison team. I haven’t received the results on my DNA tests, but I believe that Karl Malone is the father of every player on Utah State.
Auburn didn’t sneak away with a win on Saturday; they scratched and crawled their way to a victory. Gus Malzahn must have dusted off his old Arkansas playbook to find some money trick plays in the 2nd half. Their perfectly executed onside kick was this week’s Holy Sh*t! Moment. It’s the moment each week where you call somebody and say, “Holy Sh*t! Are you watching this?”
Auburn’s offense should be fine. They have two very good running backs in Michael Dyer and Onterio McCalebb, they have one of the best OC’s in America in Malzahn, and QB Barrett Trotter looked like he will be a player. It’s their defense that will cost them at least 5 games.
The Hat Wins Again
#4 LSU came into Saturday night’s game against #3 Oregon feeling confident after their preseason victory over the United States Marine Corps. After fighting soldiers, you can’t expect the Tigers to be intimidated by guys in neon yellow shoes.
Backup QB Jarrett Lee wasn’t great, but he helped more than he hurt. LSU took advantage of a slew of Oregon mistakes and cruised to a 40-27 victory.
Like their cheerleaders, Oregon looked flashy but just a little loose. Chip Kelly is a great coach. Their season is a long way from over.
Hottest Seat in Town
Georgia came into last night’s game against Boise State ranked 19th in the country, which is further proof that I’m the only person in America who watched their 10-6 loss to UCF in the Liberty Bowl. Mark Richt’s farewell tour picks up right where we left it last season. Disappointing showings in big games have become Mark Richt’s legacy at Georgia, and this was more of the same. He didn’t necessarily have to beat the #5 team in the country, but he did need to show growth and heart. I didn’t see it, but I haven’t seen it from Richt since ’05.
Boise State QB Kellen Moore is the QB everyone is hyping Aaron Murray to be (and might be if his receivers ever learn to catch). Moore completed 82% of his passes and threw 3 TD’s. This might not be his last game against an SEC team this season.
49 year-old Herschel Walker was on the sidelines looking exactly like he did when he won the Heisman in 1982. If my wife told me she had an affair with Herschel Walker I wouldn’t even pretend to be mad. I’d totally understand. In a perfect world Herschel Walker would be allowed to breed 24-7 without fear of financial obligations. It would make America stronger.
Tune in next week when Georgia starts the season 0-2.
Alabama’s rotation of AJ McCarron and Philip Sims combined for 4 interceptions. McCarron easily looked like the better of the two, but that’s not saying much considering how awful Sims looked. Something to keep an eye on going forward is the impact the poor quarterback play has on RB Trent Richardson. The preseason Heisman candidate had 3 TD’s, but on 13 carries he gained just 39 yards.
Down in Florida, John Brantley’s line of 21 of 30 looks good on paper but he threw the ball sideways constantly and still finished with 2 picks and only 1 TD against terrible FAU. Running Backs Jeff Demps and Chris Rainey, the team’s best playmakers, are nice safety blankets to have, but Brantley will need to do more passing down the field against SEC defenses. He did, however, look more comfortable in the Charlie Weis Pro-Style offense than he did in Steve Addazio’s No-Style offense last season. He also appears to be benefiting from a head coach with a pulse. Zombie-Meyer did John Brantley no favors last season. I wouldn’t be shocked to see freshman Jeff Driskel starting by the Georgia game.
In South Carolina, Stephen Garcia scored 3 TD’s off the bench and saved the Gamecocks from a humiliating loss to East Carolina.
On a related note, after this season I want to produce a reality show called Steve and Stephen. It will be a complete rip-off of the Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie vehicle “The Simple Life” starring Steve Spurrier and Stephen Garcia. They will go across America doing menial jobs by day and get into drunken antics by night. Here’s the catch, it’s going to run 24-7 like the Truman Show. At any given moment I can flip on my TV or computer and see exactly what these too maniacs are getting into. Their relationship over the past 5 years has been Shakespearean, and I can’t get enough of it.
- ESPN has to pull the plug on Lee Corso. He simply can’t speak anymore. He’s starting to remind me of Dick Clark, but not in the way that Ryan Seacrest reminds me of Dick Clark.
- It’s not all bad news, ESPN. Your ESPN3 feature where you can watch four games on the screen at once is incredible. I get the feeling that I’m about a season away from never speaking to my loved ones again.
- Whose life has gone better since they separated, Urban Meyer or Dan Mullen? It’s the best way to decide who won the breakup. The answer is Mullen, and it’s not close right now.
- After watching Kentucky struggle against Western Kentucky, I wonder if the SEC should consider contraction before expansion.
- Florida DT Dominique Easley spent his day pummeling FAU QB Graham Wilbert and then dancing on the sidelines. His combination of violence and dance is reminiscent of a young Chris Brown.
- I wonder how Al from Dadeville reacted when Auburn recovered the onside kick? It couldn’t have been pretty.
- The entire time Auburn was losing to Utah State I couldn’t help but think what a steal Cam Newton would have been for $180,000.
- LSU is going to be nasty once they get Boots Jefferson back.
- Ole Miss continues their fall towards obscurity with a loss to BYU.
- The SEC goes 10-2 on opening weekend, with LSU being the big winner of Week 1.