Published August 2, 2012 - 3:24pm
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After such a huge response to the 2011 edition of inappropriate ways to prepare for SEC football, we give you the 2012 edition.
We all have our unique ways of mentally, physically and emotionally preparing for the start of the season. Some men start to wear their team’s colors more often, others go to extremes. Today we honor those of you who go to extremes, and maybe even provide a few suggestions on how to step up your game.
Here are ten inappropriate ways to get ready for SEC football:
1. Joy ride time. Nothing like a late night joy ride to get ready for SEC football. Rules: Must be after midnight, must be going a minimum of 20 MPH over the speed limit, must include carrying a firearm and must include marijuana possession. Tribute to former RB Michael Dyer. For extra credit, scratch the serial number off the gun, Isaiah Crowell style.
2. If that doesn’t fit your fancy, well, you can take part in a Bobby Petrino inspired joy ride. Get you a motor cycle, a blonde passenger and ride around your small town with no helmet showing the world that you don’t care who sees. Try not to wreck the thing.
3. Perhaps there’s no better preseason warmup routine than a good bar fight with some marines a la Jordan Jefferson days before opening against the Oregon Ducks in 2011. All hail Boots Jefferson.
4. Get your teabagging skills up to par. The infamous Alabama fan took rivalry to another level on Bourbon Street after the BCS Championship Game when he teabagged a passed out LSU fan. Warning: this guy had to deal with the courts afterwards.
6. In honor of another SEC QB, Aaron Murray specifically, you have lots of fun options. Consider upgrading your wardrobe with honey badger shirts and FSU shirts. Hang out with a mariachi band or jump off some lake houses.
7. Sticking with the QB theme, you might consider adding some balcony beer tossing exhibitions to your tailgate activity list. Bray may have started a trend.
8. Forget going green. The latest trend in the SEC is anti-green. Last year we had the whole Harvey Updyke thing where he slaughtered some iconic trees. The trend continued in season when a Mississippi State player urinated on the iconic Georgia hedges. What’s next?
9. In honor of our new friends from Missouri, you might consider making a worse SEC fan video than this. You’ll likely find it difficult.
10. Conference realignment has brought out a new bull market in billboards. Mizzou has been placing “A New Era” billboards across Missouri and even into other states. It’s a great way to send a message to your competitors or do some trash talking. I’d like to see SEC fans start embracing this trend a bit more and setting up billboards to talk trash in your rivals’ town.