What happened to you on Saturday: Week 13

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What happened to you on Saturday? This is the must read for every SEC football fan on Monday morning right here at Saturday Down South. Pulling no punches as we recap a weekend of SEC football action…

Nameless SEC Champion vs. Notre Dame

The winner of the Georgia – Alabama game will play Notre Dame for the National Championship. What is this, 1980?

Alabama and Georgia combined to beat their “rivals” on Saturday by a score of 91-10.  At least they both arrive in Atlanta confident.  We knew that would happen but the suspense of the day would be finding out if the winner of the SEC will be playing Notre Dame or the University of Florida.

The Gators did their job with an impressive 37-26 win over Florida State, leaving all of Gator Nation no choice but to do the unimaginable; hope Lane Kiffin actually wins a big game. Spoiler Alert: He didn’t.

The combination of sound defense and Kiffin Family incompetence was all Notre Dame needed to finish out their undefeated regular season.  Going from unranked in the preseason to the BCS title game is an impressive feat for Coach Brian Kelly and the Domers.  Going from preseason #1 to a five loss team is equally unimpressive for USC. In related news, Lane Kiffin’s name as emerged on the favorite to replace General David Petraeus as Director of the CIA, assuming he doesn’t accept the title role of Christian Grey in the movie adaptation of the popular book Fifty Shades of Grey.

Rivalry Weekend

Hell, I knew we were good, but I didn’t think we were this good!  Did you ever get a group of guys to go play 5 on 5 basketball at the nearest elementary school with 8 foot rims?  That’s what it’s like when the SEC plays the ACC in the final week of the regular season.  It’s an Ego Boost.

Did you ever get a group of guys to go play 5 on 5 basketball at the nearest elementary school with 8 foot rims?  That’s what it’s like when the SEC plays the ACC

Rivalry Weekend needs to be renamed SEC Curb Stomps the ACC Weekend.  161-74 was the combined scores in the games in which cross-conference rivals squared off.  At least they have Basketball… oh, that’s right; the SEC won the National Championship in that, too.

Florida, who has a terrible offense by all accounts, was on the road against the nation’s #1 defense (stop laughing) Florida State.  Sounds like trouble, right?  Wrong.  37 points and 244 rushing yards later, it’s pretty clear that having the best defense in the ACC is like an only child bragging about being the toughest kid at his home school.

Steve Spurrier did what he does best: run his mouth and then back it up, and then run his mouth some more.  Without Marcus Lattimore or Connor Shaw, the Gamecocks were able to walk into the poor man’s Death Valley and smoke Clemson.  After the game Spurrier quipped, “When we play Clemson, they don’t seem to play very well.”  Personally, I hope he is granted eternal life.

Vanderbilt out-nerded the hell out of Wake Forest in Winston-Salem, in a game that, I’ll be honest, I didn’t know happened.  I didn’t watch it, but I know there isn’t an SEC fan out there that isn’t proud of Vandy’s 8-4 record.  A lot of jobs are coming open in the next few weeks, and if James Franklin’s name isn’t at the top of most of those lists, then a few Athletic Directors need to be fired.

Not surprisingly, tickets are still available to the Florida State-Georgia Tech ACC Championship game in Charlotte next weekend. Tickets start at $4.50, but if you wait, you should be able to get a better deal.  If you are a real big spender… for $20 you get 2 seats on the 50 yard line and get to be the head coach at NC State!

A&M Awkwardly Runs Into Missouri

Ever wonder how Val Kilmer must feel when he runs into Tom Cruise these days? Or how Joey Fatone feels when he crosses paths with Justin Timberlake? Well, if you saw any of the Missouri – Texas A&M game, you probably have some idea.

The two might have arrived together but they are now in completely different worlds.

“Oh, hey, ah, Missouri, right?  Yeah, everyone, (A&M gestures to his Model friends and Lukas Haas) this is my old friend Missouri.  We actually joined the SEC together.  Where are you these days?  Still in the SEC, really?  Huh?  Well you, ah, you look… good.”

With their 59-29 win Texas A&M, finished the regular season 10-2, 6-2 in the SEC. The 29-59 loss moves Missouri to 5-7, 2-6 in the SEC.  While Texas A&M is performing with models at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, Missouri will be hosting The Singing Bee.

But enough about how fat and untalented Missouri has become, Johnny Manziel had 439 total yards and five combined touchdowns!  You know, the usual. The most pleasant surprise this season has been the emergence of this program and their superstar quarterback.  In two weeks, Johnny Football will win the first of potentially four Heisman Trophies. It’s unbelievable.

Chizik is gone

Let us turn our thoughts to Gene Chizik. The only way you can get fired two years after winning a BCS National Championship is to go 3-8 (0-8 SEC) and get beat 49-0 by Alabama. The trees at Toomer’s Corner are healthier than the Auburn Football program.

Many people will say it’s crazy to fire the coach who won you a National Championship only two years before, but I get it. He has never been much of a head coach when Cam Newton and Nick Fairley weren’t playing and Gus Malzahn wasn’t calling plays. 2010 was an outlier.

Now the question is who will Auburn go after?  I’d start with shady-ass Bobby Petrino, and go from there.  Mike Leach would also be fun.

Plays That Mattered

They don’t hit like this at Duke!  Freshman LB Antonio Morrison changed the game for the Gators. This hit and forced fumble clinch a BCS berth for the Gators.  It will also be the most talked about play by Will Muschamp when he sees Jimbo Fisher at the beach house this summer.  “Hey, Jimbo, remember that hit?  You know which one I’m talking about, right?”

South Carolina Safety DJ Swearinger crushes Clemson Running Back Andre Ellington and picks up the one of the greatest personal fouls in football history after Flexing over Ellington.  Total Jersey Shore move.  I get the feeling Spurrier had no problem with those 15 yards.

We’ve all been spoiled by his consistent brilliance all season.  He’s been an absolute pleasure to watch.  Have fun with all your Heismans.

What They Meant To Say

“Did you watch Lane Kiffin in the fourth quarter against Notre Dame?  I won a national title two years ago and I’m out of work.  That guy has done nothing his entire life, took  a team from preseason #1 to five losses and botched the fourth quarter in front of the entire country and he’s still working.  Makes sense.” – Gene Chizik, Head Coach 2009-2012, Auburn

“We feel like we’ve played better defenses this year (smirking).” – Will Muschamp, Head Coach, Florida, after being asked at halftime about Florida State’s #1 Ranked Defense (This quote actually happened)

““When we play Clemson, they don’t seem to play very well” – Steve Spurrier, Head Coach, South Carolina, (This quote also actually happened)

Photo Credit: Daniel Shirey-US PRESSWIRE

REFERENCES

COMMENTS

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  • ROLLING ON FLOOR LAUGHING MY ASS OFF !!!!!!! (ROFLMAO)

  • I think Georgia is going to get worked in ATL. Played a pansy schedule and needed 6! TOs against Florida to win the East.

    UGA may be the 5th or 6th best team in the SEC. LSU, TAMU, Bama and South Carolina are all better.

    • 1) Georgia is going to win.
      2) Alabama played just as easy a schedule. UGA’s wasn’t supposed to be so easy. Auburn was supposed to Mississippi State this year, and Tennessee/Mizzou were supposed to be decent. Amazingly enough, Ole Miss and Vanderbilt somehow found a way to become the 3rd and 4th best teams we have played. Florida’s schedule also wasn’t supposed to be so hard. TAMU was able to pull together behind (what was basically) a new athletic program. LSU is still overrated. At the end of the day, yes Florida had a very difficult schedule and Georgia a very easy one. But that isn’t Georgia’s fault.
      3) We didn’t need 6 TOs to beat Florida. We took 6 TOs. There is a distinct difference.
      4) UGA is the tied with Alabama as the best team in the SEC. Stop complaining that you couldn’t get it done against UGA and move on with your life.

      • UGA is not tied with Bama as the best team in the SEC. That is not how this league works. Last year when Alabama and LSU were the two best teams in the league but Alabama didn’t even win their division. LSU would beat than Georgia. In a rematch Florida would probably beat Georgia. Alabama will beat Georgia.

        • Well, whoever wins Saturday it will not be because if your 3rd grade logic. Got any real real reasons Bama will win? Or it’s just because they’re Bama and you say so?

    • Mad Gator why u so mad? UF is +17 in TO margin…so those 6 turnovers? UF didn’t just give them away. That Dawg Defense beat them up for 4 quarters and took them away. Anybody that watched that game saw that. Give props where due. We won that game the same way y’all have won every other one. With great defense.

      • Nobody won that game. Both teams played like crap. One just played a little less crappy. I will be cheering for UGA this weekend though.

    • With all respect to the UGA & UF folks(And I have the upmost respect for both programs…
      That game was just plain UGLY! Mistakes…. Turnovers of all varieties… Penalties… But some days that’s just SEC football! UGA won because it was their day! UF… sorry. But that day wasn’t.
      As for the SECCG… If both teams have their whole team show up at the same game(which has only happened a couple times this year for either one of us), this should be one hellova game! Of course, I’m gonna say Bama’s gonna win! They’re my team! But I will also say this. If UGA does pull a win out in 6 days, I will enjoy watching the Dawgs put a Good Ole SEC WHOOPIN on ND! Not as much as I’d enjoy Bama doing it. But laike I said earlier….
      Either way, the crystal will be staying in the southeast for the 7th year!

  • OMG! Every Monday, I can’t wait to read this. Nothing makes me laugh as hard every single week. Thanks so much!

  • AMAZING —–> tickets are still available to the Florida State-Georgia Tech ACC Championship game in Charlotte next weekend. Tickets start at $4.50, but if you wait, you should be able to get a better deal. If you are a real big spender… for $20 you get 2 seats on the 50 yard line and get to be the head coach at NC State!

  • This was effin hilarious this week. My favorite parts.

    “We feel like we’ve played better defenses this year (smirking).” – Will Muschamp, Head Coach, Florida, after being asked at halftime about Florida State’s #1 Ranked Defense (This quote actually happened)

    ““When we play Clemson, they don’t seem to play very well” – Steve Spurrier, Head Coach, South Carolina, (This quote also actually happened)

    The (This quote actually happened) made me LOL.

  • WW… This was one of your best!

  • How come there’s no video of the Alec Ogletree tackle or Rambo’s big slam?