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Uncensored BCS Championship Recap: 1st Half

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1st Quarter:

Auburn:

Auburn’s first drive was shaky.  Gus Malzahn burned a timeout like eight seconds into the game and Ricardo Louis, once a living legend, dropped a sure thing touchdown on 3rd down.  He’s better when the ball is tipped, apparently.

Auburn follows up dropping a sure thing touchdown by dropping a sure thing touchdown on defense.  You have to appreciate their consistency but it’s not a great habit to form when playing the Heisman Trophy winner.   They can’t keep giving Jameis Winston and his receivers these second chances.

On their second possession, Nick Marshall showed that he can pick up third and very long, too.  They looked a little sharper, but still have to punt and the punter drops it too! Yep, that pimp drops it right on the 1 yard line.  HUUUUUGGGGEEEE.  Plays like that win championships.

Remember that punt?  It led to a quick FSU three and out and a short punt that Auburn brought back to their own 25 yard line.  That lead a twelve yard pass from Marshall to Tre Mason for the first touchdown of the BCS Championship game.  Auburn took a 7-3 lead with 3:07 in the first.  Classic, Trey Mason.

Hey, Freshmen of the world.  Stop running into kickers!

Florida State:

Florida State’s run defense looked solid on the first drive but it looks like it comes at the pass defense’s expense.  Fortunately for them, Auburn forgot how to catch.

Florida State’s offense looked pretty sharp, considering first drive jitters we’re used to seeing in title games but despite picking up a third and sixteen on their first drive and going all the way down to the 18 yard line they ultimately had to settle for a field goal.  Momentum was with FSU, like it was when they played Clemson, but they got TD’s in that game and Clemson never settled down.

This quarter reminds me of the Oklahoma – Alabama game.  Alabama and FSU seem to have underestimated the passing ability of their opposing quarterbacks.  Alabama never adjusted.  Let’s see if FSU does… and what Tre Mason does once they do adjust.

Well, FSU is having a lot of trouble with these SEC defensive ends and the quarterback is getting hit, hard and often.  This seems familiar…

Crowd/Atmosphere:

Honestly, every National Championship game should be played in Pasadena.  The sky looks like it was painted and the weather is perfect.  There is a reason California people seem like pretentious dicks, it’s because they live in paradise and the rest of the county is fighting -60 degree wind chill.

Paris Hilton was furious when a herd of Auburn fans mistook her Chihuahua for a squirrel and tried to eat it.

Florida State girls… I heard Hollywood producers had to actually order more casting couches.

Fun First Quarter Facts:

Bo Jackson will play John Coffey in The Green Mile 2.

Bobby Bowden isn’t dead.

Jameis Winston turns 20 years old today and Chris Weinke turns 57.

Johnny Manziel looks oversexed.

End of 1st Quarter: Auburn 7 Florida State 3

2nd Quarter:

Auburn:

Nick Marshall for Heisman!  Is it too late?  At 13:48 2nd Nick Marshall finds a wide open (I mean WIDE OPEN) Melvin Ray for a 50 yard touchdown.  Once the Tigers got up 14-3 we start to see that running game that has been dismantling the SEC for the last two months.   Just eating up yards and time.

I knew Auburn when miss that kick when I heard the kicker’s name is Cody.  The math says guys named Cody always mess shit up.

Auburn, who have been pretty terrible on defense all season are all up in Jameis Winston’s head.  Ducks, Overthrows and Fumbles, Oh My!

Florida State goes on an 11 play 66 yard drive that results in a touchdown before the half.  Oh, there’s Auburn’s defense.

Florida State:

“When did he learn how to throw?  I thought he couldn’t throw!” – Jimbo Fisher on Nick Marshall

“When did he forget how to throw?  I thought he could throw!” – Jimbo Fisher on Jameis Winston

Hell, even Ohio State fans are laughing at Florida State’s start to this one.

Florida State fans are asking Bobby Bowden if he can take over for the second half but he was already asleep.

Half way through the 2nd quarter and Jameis is a mess.  Jimbo Fisher is trying to take some heat off his young superstar, but the rest of the Seminoles aren’t there to pick him up. Cameron Erving jumps on first down and Rashard Greene drops a easy third and short pass.

FAKE!  Jimbo is channeling Urban Meyer by faking punt deep in their own territory.  Desperate times…  Ballsy.  Let’s see if it gets the momentum rolling for FSU.

Yep.  Florida State is marching.  Jameis Winston is channeling Vince Young late in the 1st half.  On a blown up 3rd down Jameis scrambled 21 yards down to the 3.  HUUUUUUUGGGGEEEE.  That set up a Dovonta Freeman touchdown.

Game saving drive for FSU.  Hats off to Jameis and Jimbo.

Seriously, that was a massive drive by Florida State.  This game was very close to being over.

Crowd/Atmosphere:

After going down 14-3 80% of the Florida State girls stumbled out of the stadium saying something about meeting up with Brody Jenner.

Auburn girlfriends keep assuring their boyfriends that “California gays” are not staring at them.

TMZ reports Pauley Shore and David Spade were seen circling the Rose Bowl parking lot.

Fun Second Quarter Facts

Well, it turns out strength of schedule actually is important after all.

Auburn could have been up 28 nothing, but have allowed FSU to stay in this.

Fake punts are awesome.

This game is not over!

End of 1st Half:  Auburn 21 Florida State 10





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Comments 3

  1. Tony
    Commented : 3 months ago

    I’m gay and I can assure you I’m looking at them . . .