What Happened To You On Saturday: Week 12
The #1 Monday morning recap article for SEC Fans… Pulling no punches as we recap a weekend of SEC football action…
I’ll wait while you watch that video 25 times in a row…
That’s what happiness sounds like.
Uncensored Play-By-Play: The Catch
:36 4th Georgia 38 Auburn 37
Verne Lundquist: “4th and 18”
Nick Marshall surveys the Georgia Defense. His instinct is to run. His team has already run 57 times tonight. That number is absurd. Kenyans think Auburn runs too much.
Mark Richt wonders if Auburn will spike it here. Despite the debacle at the end of last season’s SEC Championship game, he still doesn’t grasp the concept of spiking.
Here is the snap…
Georgia goes with a three man rush. Five defenders linger roughly 18 yards away from scrimmage protecting against the first down. Safeties Corey Moore, Josh Harvey-Clemmons, and Trey Matthews huddle around the lone Auburn receiver, Ricardo Louis, as he streaks down the field.
Ricardo Louis sounds like a made up name.
Marshall steps up into the pocket. He’s not looking to run and he’s not looking for a first down…
Marshall, who only threw the ball three times for 35 yards a week ago in Auburn’s win over Tennessee, has bigger plans. He’s looking to change the hearts and minds of everyone who questions his ability as a passer by throwing the biggest pass of his career into triple coverage? Whatever, Nick, it’s your journey.
Louis is flying down the field, but Harvey-Clemmons and Matthews are right there with him.
Wasn’t the Jackel’s real name Ricardo Louis?
The defenders see the ball coming right to them, and pause, to think, “What has Todd Grantham coached us to do in this situation? Trick question, He’s never coached us! WHAT DO WE DO????”
Yep, it’s tipped by Harvey-Clemons and Matthews. They are all over it. Auburn fans take one last swig then tuck their mini bottles of Beam into their boots and purses.
Verne: “OH MY GOD!”
Me: “GET THE F**K OUT OF HERE!” (Source)
Girl sitting next to me: “Does that count? Do they win now?”
Ricardo Louis runs past the defenders as they both tip the ball into the air and it gently lands in his hand. I don’t know how he saw the ball or if he even did. His hands just knew what to do out of habit. He somehow secures the ball at the 15 yard line and strolls into the end zone as Georgia’s defenders stand around wondering why their ear drums just imploded.
The City of Auburn, Alabama, has just melted down.
Ricardo Louis is one cool sonuvabitch. He stands alone in the end zone as the entire world explodes around him acting like what he just did was normal. That wasn’t normal Ricardo! It was…I don’t know… magic? Witchcraft? Deus Ex Machina?
Nick Marshall is running down the field at about a 4.2 forty clip with two fingers in the air. I don’t know if he’s saying they need to go for two, or if he’s saying, “How’s that for a pass completion? Deuces.”
The camera of course finds Aaron Murray, who appears to once again be on the wrong side of an improbable comeback. He was great, as always, but came up short. The look on his face says, “I seriously hate my defense.”
Verne is silent, feared dead. Danielson is silent, probably giving Verne mouth to mouth.
Everyone is in shock.
College Football is the best.
South Carolina Squeaks Past Florida’s Corpse
This is the South Carolina we’ve come to expect: An unpredictable team that tends to play down to their competition. I mean, were it not for a loss to Tennessee (TENNESSEE!!)… South Carolina would have spent Saturday night celebrating winning the SEC East. Instead, they left Williams-Brice Stadium relieved to have come away with a win over the same team Vanderbilt railed in Gainesville a week before. Whatever. It is what it is.
The Catch (read above) was huge for South Carolina. It eliminated Georgia, who would have had a tiebreaker advantage over the Gamecocks, from the SEC East race. It also eliminated the possibility of a three-team tie, which would have favored Missouri. That loss for Georgia now means that if Missouri slips up against either the peaking-at-the-right-time Ole Miss or the Johnny-Football-led Texas A&M, the Gamecocks will win the SEC East. South Carolina still has some meat on their bone, with the rivalry game against Clemson to wrap up the regular season, but their SEC work is completed.
So in summation, it was an ugly win for South Carolina, but it was a huge win for South Carolina.
The only positive takeaway for the Gators is that despite losing five straight games the team hasn’t quit on head coach Will Muschamp. Their healthy-ish defense continues to be elite. True Freshman Kelvin Taylor continues to thrive with added carries and responsibilities. Hell, even offensive coordinator, and likely fall guy, Brent Pease had a nice game calling plays. But don’t get cocky, Will.
After the game Muschamp said, “There is a lot of negativity out there, and some of our fans need to get a grip. They really do.” You just lost five games in a row, are you sure this is the right time to go after the fan base? Your final play was a fake punt in which the only receiver running a route was a 305 lbs. defensive tackle. Your third string/starting quarterback has a scholarship despite not being able to throw the football. If I were you I’d just quietly accept that my Athletic Director publicly supports me for some reason and devote my full attention to not losing to Georgia Southern next week. Besides, Muschamp is the same dude that is fighting chalk boards, he probably shouldn’t be lecturing anyone on getting a grip.
Was Alabama Hung Over?
There was nothing pretty about Alabama’s win over Mississippi State. They’ve earned the benefit of the doubt, but in college football style points matter and this game had no style. This game has as much style as The Dude buying half & half.
Dan Mullen had his guys fired up, and the Bulldogs did a nice job pushing Alabama around on both lines. Alabama still has Auburn and either Missouri or South Carolina before they get to likely square off against Florida State (assuming Jameis Winston is allowed to play). Alabama could lose to any of those teams. They really could. This Alabama team isn’t as dangerous as the last few Alabama teams, but they still could be better than everyone else in the country.
The good news is T.J. Yeldon is playing his best football of the season, and the defense only gave up one touchdown to a decent Mississippi State offense. They’ll have a glorified exhibition game against Chattanooga next week to get some of the kinks worked out before traveling to Auburn for always dangerous Iron Bowl. How fun will that be?
Vandy’s Going Bowling
Vanderbilt is going to their third straight bowl game for the first time in school history. Prior to James Franklin, Vanderbilt had gone to only four bowl games. That is phenomenal coaching. It’s one thing to get a bunch of seniors and have the right schedule and squeeze into a bowl game, it’s another thing to turn a forever struggling program into a perennial bowl team. It’s not easy to make bowl games in the SEC. Ask Will Muschamp. Ask Dan Mullen. Ask the guy who coaches Arkansas.
I don’t know who is more impressive, James Franklin or Jordan Matthews. Matthews had 144 yards on twelve catches. He also threw in a big 28 yard run in there, as well, just to show off. The reason Matthews is so impressive is because everyone knows he’s their weapon. Everyone knows he’s the guy you have to stop when you play Vanderbilt and nobody is doing it. I love Mike Evans, but he has Manziel. He has Kevin Sumlin’s offense. Jordan Matthews has Jordan Matthews. He’s the best receiver in the SEC.
Oh, and Kentucky played pretty well on Saturday. I was impressed with their defense. Mark Stoops might have those guys heading in the right direction. Well, probably not, but they were playing hard.
(Other) Plays That Mattered
Aaron Murray is one hell of a quarterback. It’s a shame he didn’t catch a few more breaks in his time at Georgia.
4th down and trailing, Connor Shaw rolls out and finds Bruce Ellington for a TD. I feel like we’ve seen this one before…
Bo Wallace finds Laquon Treadwell and Treadwell does stuff a freshman shouldn’t know how to do. Watch out, Missouri, #LaquonFootball is coming.
What They Meant to Say
“I’ll be honest we started drinking in the locker room after Auburn scored that touchdown and knocked Georgia out of the SEC East picture. We started celebrating. I was on my fourth Busch Light when somebody reminded me we had to still play Florida. I was like, “Are you sure they didn’t all blow their ACL’s stepping off the bus?” So we weren’t rusty, we were just a little drunk. It made me miss Stephen Garcia, to be honest with you.” – Steve Spurrier, Head Coach, University of South Carolina
“Tell our loser fans to quit bitching. Why do you want to go to a bowl game anyways? Did you see the Louisville game last year? I’m just saving you the hassle. I’ll pound all you nerds!” – Will Muschamp, Head Coach, University of Florida
“Would I trade all my personal records for an SEC Title? Nah, those records were pretty sweet. I’d trade my defense for an SEC Title. I’d trade my Head Coach for an SEC Title.” – Aaron Murray, Quarterback, University of Georgia
“I’m Ricardo Louis. That’s how I roll. Y’all may have been blown away or something, but that just how I live every second of my life. Again, I’m Ricardo Louis.” – Ricardo Louis, Wide Receiver, Auburn University