Through just a couple weeks of the college football season, there are just a finite amount of certainties observers casual or fanatic can draw. Yes, without question, Florida State is a mess. Yes, without question, Notre Dame is again way more hat than cattle.

And yes, once again, Alabama is squarely in position to be … well … Alabama for an umpteenth consecutive season.

The No. 4 Crimson Tide are 2-0 heading into a road test at high noon Saturday against the Wisconsin Badgers. Because the game will be at Camp Randall Stadium, “Jump Around” will be queued up for the start of the fourth quarter and all the Badgers fans will be making sure to be as unpleasant as possible toward their guests until then.

But there is a reason the Tide are 15.5-point road favorites (via DraftKings) against fellow unbeaten Wisconsin. It’s because Alabama is easily two touchdowns better than the unranked Badgers, despite what you might have seen just last weekend.

That’s because South Florida apparently has several handfuls of Crimson Tide-likeness voodoo dolls that the Bulls unleashed last season and last Saturday. How else can you explain the 17-3 rain-soaked “victory” by the Tide last year at Raymond James Stadium? How else can you explain USF dragging Alabama to the deep end of its home pool yet again in 2024 before succumbing 42-16?

USF coach Alex Golesh wasn’t about to accept any moral victories after either defeat, nor should he. Golesh commented that they had Alabama right where they wanted them through 3 quarters – right before the Tide unloaded with a 28-3 fourth quarter to send the Saban Field at Bryant-Denny Stadium (what a mouthful that is …) crowd home semi-satisfied.

And Golesh was dead-on correct in his analysis, just as he dialed up a winnable game plan in 2023.

Spinning this all forward to Wisconsin, though, bodes poorly for the Badgers. Last season, the Tide squeegee’d itself out and picked off 15th-ranked Ole Miss 24-10 the week after the Bulls charged their hardest. Yes, we all know that team isn’t this team, but both teams had Jalen Milroe in charge of the offense – and it was against the Rebels where Milroe finally started showing his bona fides.

Milroe was a crisp 17-of-21 for 225 yards and a touchdown that afternoon against the Rebels, and added 16 carries for 28 yards. More important, he showed the tenacity/poise combination that then-coach Nick Saban had been looking for out of him for the first time – and it was off to the races on a Heisman Trophy candidacy that continues to this day.

A year later, Milroe probably can’t even remember a time when he might have been looking over his shoulder when he was going to be yanked. His position as QB1 at Alabama is as locked in as Saban’s bronze statue out front. And that can’t help but to bode unwell for Wisconsin. The LANK-y graduate junior has thrown for 399 yards and 5 TDs through 2 games without an interception, and has rushed for 81 yards on 22 carries with 4 more scores. His command of new coach Kalen DeBoer’s offense seems pretty solid, even when said offense sputtered sometimes against South Florida. And Milroe’s confidence? Even a second consecutive close call from the Bulls did nothing to dim the glow emanating from No. 4.

Wisconsin won’t be a creampuff. That much is certain. The Badgers have thrown plenty of thorns in Big Ten sides over the years, and playing at Camp Randall has never been a garden party for opposing teams. Transfer quarterback Tyler Van Dyke seems to have found new life in Madison after being run out of Miami, and running back Chez Mellusi can flat go.

Still, Wisconsin needed to play 4 quarters to subdue Western Michigan 28-14 in the opener, and didn’t exactly light it up in a 27-13 victory over South Dakota last weekend. The Badgers are going to need more than a fancy stadium singalong participation gag to get past the best college football program in the past 25 years.

Buckle up, Wisconsin. Pack a lunch, and don’t forget the pudding snacks and an apple for extra energy. Sixty minutes of rebound is coming your way in the form of the post-USF Alabama Crimson Tide. And if past performance is indicative of future results, Camp Randall will be a house of pain Saturday afternoon for the Badgers.