Time to pass those lazy days of the offseason by taking a lighthearted look ahead to the 2016 campaign and a handful of headlines we don’t necessarily think (or hope) we’ll see. Of course, stranger things have happened. That’s why we love college football, right?

Here is Part I with the first of five headlines. Tune back in next week for Part II.

1. LSU CROWNED SEC CHAMPS, MILES’ JOB STILL IN JEOPARDY

They’re a fickle bunch down there on the Bayou.

Despite 112 wins, a .778 winning percentage and a national championship, to boot, Les Miles’ head coaching job at LSU always appears to be about as safe as Walmart sushi. It might be an exaggeration to suggest that the Tigers’ head honcho could claim his third SEC title during his dozen seasons in Death Valley and still find a slew of detractors calling for his head. But anything’s possible. Miles barely escaped the hot seat in November after his ninth, nine-win season in Baton Rouge. The Tigers have a stacked roster and are among the early season favorites to wrest the conference hardware away from the state of Alabama for the first time since they did it in 2011. Any stumbles and we might not exactly see Miles hoisted off the field again on the shoulders of his players.

2. SWEATER VEST SALES SKYROCKET IN LEXINGTON AFTER KENTUCKY’S HIRING OF TRESSEL

Depending if Mark Stoops can finally reach a bowl game in his fourth season at the helm of Kentucky, the Wildcats could be looking for a new head coach come early December. Conveniently, Jim Tressel’s show-cause penalty is set to expire on Dec. 19 of this year. The former Ohio State head coach — whose Buckeyes finished among the top 10 in the Associated Press’ final rankings in eight of his 10 seasons in Columbus — has been sidelined since late 2011 under an NCAA-ordered show-cause penalty for his role in covering up player infractions. But the five-year blackballing expires this season, making his name a tantalizing prospect, especially now that teams can hire him without repercussions from the NCAA. Unfortunately for Wildcats fans, Tressel is unlikely to land at Kentucky. Or anywhere, for that matter. Youngstown State hired the 63-year-old as the institution’s president in 2014, prompting Tressel to state his intentions to retire.

3. OLE MISS TO STAY IN ONE-STORY HOTEL ROOMS ON THE ROAD

Wishing to avoid an encore performance of last season, it might be wise for Hugh Freeze to house his team in ranch-style hotels when Ole Miss goes on the road. This stems from the unfortunate incident in which defensive lineman Robert Nkemdiche allegedly plummeted 15 feet out of a hotel window in the run-up to the Rebels’ Sugar Bowl-matchup against Oklahoma State. The incident cast a black mark on the season that could only be trumped in awkwardness by teammate Laremy Tunsil’s metaphorical “plummet” on draft day. Freeze could point to Nkemdiche and Tunsil as examples to his young players about what not to do. Then again, the duo just signed deals that could net them a combined $25 million over the next four years. Tough call. Nkemdiche is apparently out panther shopping.

4. CASH-STRAPPED NEBRASKA CRIES UNCLE, REHIRES PELINI TO FINISH OUT HIS DEAD-WEIGHT CONTRACT

Sure the Mike Riley era has just begun at Nebraska. But $7.9 million for a guy who now coaches at Youngstown State (yes, that’s the second Youngstown State reference), is rather pricey. That’s what Nebraska is on the hook for to shell out to ex-Cornhusker coach Bo Pelini, the former LSU defensive coordinator who is on the NU books for another three years. After some haggling and number-crunching with his new employers, Nebraska will pay Pelini $128,009 a month through February of 2019. Something tells us Pelini — who went 67-27 and produced bowl-eligible squads in each of his seven seasons with the Huskers — and his cat are likely content with collecting checks for staying away from Lincoln.

5. LANE KIFFIN FIRED IN SPECTACULAR FASHION, THIS TIME KICKED OFF TEAM FLIGHT IN MID-AIR

Poor Lane Kiffin. First it was the Southern California brass who served the former Trojans head coach his walking papers (almost literally) on the team bus as it sat on the LAX tarmac upon arriving home after a dubious loss in 2013 to Arizona State. Things turned around for the son of Monte Kiffin, who landed in Tuscaloosa where he won a national title as Alabama’s offensive coordinator. But things soured quickly for the younger Kiffin, once again, this time drawing the ire of Nick Saban. Apparently the legendary Crimson Tide head coach didn’t appreciate going on the road to Dallas’ AT&T Stadium and losing to Kiffin’s old USC squad during its nationally televised, prime-time season opener. Fortunately, Kiffin turned out OK as his fall was cushioned by Pete the Penguin, the costumed mascot of Youngstown State. He was immediately hired by Jim Tressel and Bo Pelini.