Week 1

1. Somehow Florida’s offense gets worse with each new quarterback that joins the roster. When that new 5-star QB arrives, the Gators are REALLY going to suck!

2. Alabama is still Alabama. Boring.

3. South Carolina is legit! 2017 is the Year of the Bentley!

4. Did someone tell Butch Jones that Georgia Tech runs the triple option minutes before kickoff?

5. LSU smoked those Mormons. Orgeron was a great hire. His assistants were great hires. Look out Alabama!

6. I don’t know if Missouri fans think that game against Missouri State is SEC football, but I can assure you… THIS IS NOT IT. THIS IS NOT IT.

7. Though, seriously. 800 yards of offense? Maybe Missouri can beat some teams?

8. Vandy looks good! I repeat. VANDY LOOKS GOOD.

9. Somehow Kevin Sumlin managed to condense his horrendous November collapses into a single half of football.

10. Drunk Facebook’ing rarely works out. Even for those that hold positions on Boards of Regents.

11. Surely, Sumlin is getting fired.

Week 2

12. Alabama looks bored.

13. Arkansas looks horrible. Surely, Bielema is getting fired.

14. Georgia wins! Screw the Irish! #FrommNation is born! Did you know he played in the Little League World Series? He’s so handsome. Jacob Eason? Never heard of her.

15. Welcome to big boy football, Jarrett Stidham.

16. Vandy looks good! I repeat. VANDY LOOKS GOOD.

Week 3

17. Nobody should be given an official win from this Florida-Tennessee game.

18. But if you can get an extra loss, Tennessee should definitely get it. if not an extra loss, maybe a larger font size or bold text?

19. Franks has a cannon.

20. But does anyone else notice how slow he is running? I thought he was dual-threat?

21. LOL Gamecocks. Four in a row against Kentucky?!?

22. Vandy looks good! I repeat. VANDY LOOKS GOOD.

23. Let’s give the ‘Dores a top 25 ranking!

24. Vandy’s going to give Alabama all they want.

25. Mississippi State is Alabama-lite!

26. I’m not sure who made a worse decision, Shea Patterson staying at Ole Miss or me choosing to stay up until 2 a.m. eastern watching Ole Miss play Cal on the West coast.

Week 4

27. Dear Nick Saban, we’re all very sorry for doubting you.

28. Vanderbilt is still Vanderbilt.

29. The annual Texas A&M vs. Arkansas matchup: Massively entertaining game between two extraordinarily average football teams.

30. Hey, Tennessee, nice win over UMass.

31. So, this is what it looks like when a team plays in front of 100,000 empty seats, huh?

32. Hey, South Carolina, nice win over La Tech.

33. Ok, Mississippi State isn’t Alabama-lite!

34. Georgia is Alabama-lite!

35. Stidham looks good, but every contest involving Missouri must be thrown out prior to forming any opinion.

36. Kentucky is cursed.

37. Seriously, how did you lose to Florida? This is worse than when Jeff Driskel threw a game-tying touchdown in overtime after the play clock expired on 4th-and-7.

38. You leave a Florida receiver uncovered not once, but twice? Yikes.

39. An average Florida team is going to win the east again. I just know it.

40. LSU doesn’t look like LSU. This could get ugly.

Week 5

41. It’s officially ugly in Baton Rouge. Troy. LSU lost to Troy. At home. At night.

42. Look, talking about Orgeron losing his job is stupid. He’s coached five games. BUT WHY DOES HE HAVE A $15 MILLION BUYOUT? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Who is LSU trying to fend off from poaching Coach O? The guy would probably coach LSU for minimum wage. I don’t get it. This is what it looks like to remember you signed off on a $15 million buyout:

43. Luke Del Rio’s head + Malik Zaire’s legs + Feleipe Franks’ arm = Kyle Shurmur

44. Tennessee has officially become a nightmare. You don’t get canned for losing 41-0 to Alabama. You do get canned for losing 41-0 to division rival, Georgia, at home in front of yet another empty Neyland Stadium.

https://twitter.com/PickSixPreviews/status/914257948003770368

45. BUTCH JONES HAS AT LEAST A $6.8 MILLION BUYOUT (maybe more). WHY?!?

46. Georgia is nasty.

47. We might actually have a real SEC Championship Game in 2017! Not since Aaron Murray’s tipped pass in the 2012 SECCG have we had a scenario where both East and West champs are in play for a national championship. I’m officially rooting for Georgia.

48. I’m pretty sure Alabama’s second unit could have covered the 30-point spread against Ole Miss.

49. So, South Carolina sucks?

50. “I’m going to be coaching 8-win seasons here at Texas A&M for another thirty years! You’ll never get rid of me! Muhahahahaha.” -Kevin Sumlin, probably