If only Arkansas could win football games like Bret Bielema won Media Days
HOOVER, Ala. — With Steve Spurrier surely on a golf course somewhere, there is a void at SEC Media Days.
Thankfully, Bret Bielema filled said void Wednesday in Wynfrey Room A. After two-plus days of clichés and coachspeak, the animated fourth-year Arkansas coach injected some pizzazz into an increasingly dull event.
Bielema’s press conference started out by the book, as he credited former Wisconsin coach Barry Alvarez — his mentor in Madison — for teaching him to learn from those who came before him. He also highlighted the program’s steady progress on his watch, going from 0-8 to 2-6 to 5-3 this past season in conference play.
Then it was time for Bielema to go full Bielema. The main media room needed a laugh. He delivered several.
Credit: Butch Dill-USA TODAY Sports
On Jeremy Sprinkle: “When he got there, he was 6-6, 205 pounds. If he turned sideways, you couldn’t see him. He was skinny as skinny gets.”
On Deatrich Wise Jr.: “A beautiful 6-6, 270-280-pound defensive end.”
On the upcoming home-and-home with TCU: “The AD had a nice idea to throw TCU into the mix before we take on the SEC West. One hell of an idea. So I’m very excited about seeing coach (Gary) Patterson. I see him once a year on a Nike trip. That’s good enough for me.”
On the canceled home-and-home with Michigan: “My wife said, ‘Hey, there’s something on the internet about a Big Ten team canceling with an SEC team.’ I said, ‘I don’t know anything about it.’ She said, ‘Really? Your picture’s right here.’ She’s real quick.”
On Russell Wilson marrying Ciara: “I was in Russell’s wedding. Not in the wedding. I just sat and watched. I was the guy in the eighth row in the outside seat.”
Once coaches are done in the main media room, they move on to the smaller radio/internet room next door. Some simply regurgitate answers from one Q&A to the next because the questions tend to be familiar.
Not Bielema.
On why his wife likes to attend Media Days alongside him: “She loves to come, I think partly because you’re connected to a mall.”
On his assistant coaches targeting blue-chip recruits: “If you get one that’s hot, that we like, that we’ve got him rated at the top, he’s Farrah Fawcett.”
On possibly unqualified players leaving early for the draft: “First and foremost, if you’re not invited to that (proposed junior class scouting) combine, if you even think about coming out, you’re a moron.”
Needless to say, his tenure in Fayetteville will ultimately be judged on wins and losses. He wasn’t hired away from the Big Ten to be funny guy at the cocktail party lighting up the room. So if the Razorbacks are unable to maintain the momentum they’ve been building the past three years, Bielema’s act will grow tired.
“At Arkansas, we’re not built very sexy,” Bielema said. “We’re just kind of a work in progress. We need a lot of time in the bathroom to get ready and come out and look great. But when we do, we’ll stop time. And at some point we’ll get to where we want to be. And when we get there, it just means a little bit more.”
Bielema was the ninth coach to speak since Monday. I had a chance to ask a question of the previous eight.
Unfortunately, the moderator didn’t point in my direction during Bielema’s time. There weren’t many empty seats in the room, even having to follow Alabama coach Nick Saban. Hands were in the air start to finish.
I wanted to know — but never got an opportunity to find out — if he feels a need to take the torch from Spurrier as the premier personality at events such as these. To add some color to all the black and white. With coaches getting more tight-lipped when it comes to handling the media, Spurrier’s loss has been felt.
Spurrier wasn’t only known as a quote machine, though. He also won championships. That’s why he’s a legend.
John Crist is the senior writer for Saturday Down South. You can send him an e-mail directly at jcrist@saturdaydownsouth.com or follow him on Twitter @SaturdayJC.
