The Hangover: Pray to Tim Tebow that Florida can find a quarterback

Back before Tim Tebow was a bad baseball player, he was one of the best college football players who ever lived.

A dual-threat weapon just as likely to run over as around you, Tebow has been bronzed outside Ben Hill Griffin Stadium next to a pair of fellow Heisman Trophy winners with the Gators, Steve Spurrier and Danny Wuerffel.

In addition to said Heisman — he was the first sophomore to win the award — Tebow was also a two-time national champion in Gainesville. The fact that he ultimately flopped in the NFL is immaterial. During his time in orange and blue, his talent on the field was only surpassed by his leadership in the locker room and humanity in the community.

Unfortunately for UF, three head coaches now have failed to replace the irreplaceable Tebow at the game’s most important position.

The current head coach, second-year man Jim McElwain, watched helplessly from the sideline Saturday as Austin Appleby stunk it up with a 19-of-35 performance for 149 yards, not to mention minus-46 yards rushing, in a 31-13 farce at Florida State.

Appleby, a graduate transfer who lost the starting job at lowly Purdue yet somehow found one at mighty Florida, missed open receivers — including a would-be touchdown to Antonio Callaway — left and right. He continually held onto the ball too long in the pocket and was sacked six times as a result.

Luke Del Rio, a two-time transfer Appleby replaced due to injury, has been even less effective this season.

With the exception of the six games played by pre-suspension Will Grier in 2015, the Gators have continually fielded one of the worst QBs in the SEC under McElwain. Somehow, Del Rio and Appleby are an upgrade over the departed Treon Harris.

McElwain arrived from Colorado State with a reputation as an offensive guru, yet UF just wrapped up the regular season 11th in the conference in scoring and 12th in total yards per game. Two freshman signal callers are redshirting, Feleipe Franks and Kyle Trask, so one of them desperately needs to come to McElwain’s rescue in 2017.

When Tebow was at the controls, Florida fans liked to say that he was one of a kind. They had no idea just how right they were.

Program by program, here are some of the more memorable nuggets and tidbits that I scribbled into my Week 13 notebook.

#rolltide

Calvin Ridley was the primary threat in the passing game last year, but this season it’s been the talents of ArDarius Stewart.

While Ridley hasn’t necessarily disappointed in 2016, his numbers have indeed taken a hit across the board. From receptions per game to yards per game to yards per catch, he hasn’t been able to match his freshman campaign. Meanwhile, Stewart’s receptions per game, yards per game and yards per catch have all spiked significantly.

This could be nothing more than Jalen Hurts feeling more comfortable with Stewart, while Jake Coker clearly favored Ridley a year ago.

#wooopig

For the most part, Austin Allen’s first year as the starting quarterback taking over for his older brother at Arkansas was a smashing success.

That being said, he hit a bit of a wall down the stretch. After a four-week run early in the schedule in which he wasn’t intercepted, Allen (above) got picked off multiple times in three of his final seven games. With two more INTs in a 28-24 loss to Missouri, the Fayetteville native finished the regular season tied for last in the SEC with 12.

Yes, Allen has been bruised and battered as badly as any QB in the conference. He needs to be a shade more careful, though.

#wareagle

The Jeremy Johnson era has come to a close at Auburn following a 30-12 loss at Alabama in the annual Iron Bowl.

At halftime, Tigers coach Gus Malzahn told CBS sideline reporter Allie LaForce that Johnson didn’t play very well the first 30 minutes due to some “jitters” he was experiencing. Keep in mind that Johnson is a senior and has faced the Crimson Tide before, yet he still shrunk in the moment and never got his team in the end zone.

A four-star talent with all the tools once upon a time, some kids just don’t have the fortitude to succeed in the face of genuine pressure.

#gogators

Florida fans can pin the blame for all the offensive struggles on the lack of a quarterback, but the blocking up front was horrid in Week 13.

Even if FSU came into the Sunshine State showdown with a nation-leading 41 sacks, the ‘Noles were still a middle-of-the-pack defense in the inferior ACC. But Demarcus Walker and Co. shredded the Gators in the trenches from start to finish, so a relatively immobile passer like Appleby had next to no chance to thrive.

Aside from left guard Martez Ivey, who wasn’t even supposed to play due to injury, the rest of the O-line failed Appleby time and again.

#uga

Leading 27-14 through three quarters, Georgia’s rushing defense finally caved in the fourth frame against triple-option Georgia Tech.

The Yellow Jackets walked out of Sanford Stadium with a 28-27 victory thanks to a pair of lengthy touchdown marches in the final period. The first was a 7-play, 94-yard drive, while the second went 46 yards in 8 plays and culminated in the winning score with 30 seconds left in regulation to stun the Athens faithful.

Not one Tech runner had more than 9 carries or 59 yards, but the Bulldogs eventually broke down facing such a unique, multi-faceted attack.

#bbn

If Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson somehow doesn’t win the Heisman Trophy, he’ll have Kentucky to blame.

In a stunning 41-38 upset of the in-state rival Cardinals on the road, the Wildcats picked off three passes and also pounced on a critical Jackson fumble that might have taken the game-winning points off the board for UL. While Jackson threw for 281 yards and ran for 171 more, the ‘Cats capitalized on the few opportunities he gave them.

As a result, UK is a sneaky 7-5 and going to a bowl game for the first time under fourth-year coach Mark Stoops.

#geauxtigers

LSU made it official at noon Saturday: Interim coach Ed Orgeron (below) was promoted to full-time head coach of the Tigers.

Administrators made fools of themselves for the better part of a year trying to move on from Les Miles, including failed attempts to lure Jimbo Fisher from Florida State — not once but twice — and keep Tom Herman from Texas. No matter how athletic director Joe Alleva spins the story, Orgeron wasn’t his first choice.

Whether he turns out to be the right choice is unknown. Nobody doubts Orgeron’s passion, but passion takes a back seat to beating Alabama.

#hottytoddy

Ole Miss, which at times looked like the top team in the land facing the likes of Florida State and Alabama, cratered to 5-7.

The Rebels put together another embarrassing effort against the run in a 55-20 humiliation in the Egg Bowl, allowing Mississippi State’s Nick Fitzgerald and Aeris Williams to combine for 449 yards rushing and 4 TDs on 39 attempts. Just to do the math for you, that’s 11.5 yards per carry when everyone in the building knew what was coming.

Mississippi finishes the regular season ranked last in the league in rushing D and won’t get any bowl game practices to work on it.

#hailstate

It’s time to give the aforementioned Fitzgerald some credit, even if his style of quarterbacking is unconventional to say the least.

With 258 more yards on the ground in Week 13 against the Rebs, he’s the third-leading rusher in the nation among QBs with 1,243. He trails only Jackson, the Heisman favorite, and South Florida’s Quinton Flowers. He’s third in the SEC in rushing and has outrushed standout tailbacks like Vanderbilt’s Ralph Webb and Kentucky’s Stanley “Boom” Williams.

Fitzgerald will never be Dak Prescott as a passer. But with just a little improvement, he could be close to unstoppable.

#mizzou

It was a rough first season for coach Barry Odom at Missouri, which finished last in the conference at 4-8 and posted a 2-6 mark in league play.

Nevertheless, the Tigers wrapped up a disappointing campaign on a high note with that upset victory over Arkansas at home in the finale. Drew Lock wasn’t intercepted. J’Mon Moore made more big plays in the passing game. The defense sacked Allen four times, hurried him four more and also picked him off twice.

As far as 2017 is concerned, the East will be up for grabs again. The lack of a dominant team gives Odom hope for a second-year rebound.

#spursup

South Carolina exceeded expectations in 2016 and got to bowl eligibility with six wins, but coach Will Muschamp doesn’t have a contender yet.

There’s nothing worse than getting taken to the woodshed in a rivalry game, but that’s exactly what happened to the Gamecocks in a 56-7 beatdown at Clemson. It was total domination from the start, as the Tigers led 21-0 after the first quarter and 35-0 at intermission. Deshaun Watson threw 6 TD passes and could’ve had more.

At 6-6, the ‘Cocks are closer to 3-9 than 9-3 in the grand scheme of things. The six programs they beat finished a combined 25-46.

#gbo

It came in a shocking 45-34 loss to Vanderbilt, but Derek Barnett tied Tennessee’s school record with his 32nd career sack.

Somehow, Barnett (above) has continued to thrive playing in a defense that has been gashed time and again since October. In their past three games alone, they surrendered 635 yards to Kentucky, 740 to Missouri and then 608 to Vandy. Even if the depth chart has been depleted by injuries, UT’s decline defensively has been a disaster.

Barnett wraps up the schedule as the SEC’s leader with 12.0 sacks and 18.0 tackles for loss, and he’s done it all by himself.

#gigem

After debuting at No. 4 in the initial College Football Playoff rankings, Texas A&M dropped three of four games to unranked conference foes.

An Aggies rush defense that showed major improvement earlier in the year gave up an all-time LSU record 285 yards on the ground to Derrius Guice in a 54-39 loss at Kyle Field. While Trevor Knight returned to the lineup for A&M, he continued the trend of low-percentage passing in College Station with a 14-of-30 effort.

Since 2013, coach Kevin Sumlin is 7-9 in November. That hot seat he had cooled off? It’s warming up again.

#anchordown

With 114 yards and 2 touchdowns on 21 carries in that upset of Tennessee, Webb became the most prolific runner in Vanderbilt annals.

Zac Stacy needed four seasons to total 3,143 yards on the ground for the Commodores, but it took Webb just three to account for 3,236. One of the more underappreciated stars this league has produced in recent memory, Webb stood in the shadows of LSU’s Leonard Fournette, Georgia’s Nick Chubb and Tennessee’s Jalen Hurd during the preseason.

Webb outplayed all three in 2016. He stands a good chance to be named first-team All-SEC alongside Rawleigh Williams III of Arkansas.

Sweet Tweet

In the wake of LSU promoting Orgeron from interim coach to permanent coach, the Oxford Police Department decided the best way to spend taxpayer money was trolling the ex-Ole Miss coach on Twitter. After its original tweet — “LOLSU #YAWYAWYAW” — was greeted with disgust by the internet community, an apology was issued.

We apologize to LSU Nation for our tweet earlier about Coach Orgeron. We wish him the best as Head Coach of LSU.

— Oxford Police Dept (@OxfordPolice) November 26, 2016

This isn’t the first time that the Oxford PD has colored outside the lines of good taste via social media. Just serve and protect, please.

Sweet Stat

Blake Sims set Alabama’s all-time standard with 35 touchdowns responsible for in 2014, although he required 14 games to do it.

Hurts has already registered 33 total TDs — 21 passing, 12 rushing — in only 12 games, and with possibly three left to play, he appears to be a shoe-in to surpass Sims in the Crimson Tide record book.

Sims, by the way, was a fifth-year senior. That makes what Hurts has done as a true freshman all the more remarkable.

Sweet Quote

“I have no idea what kind of question that was.”

— Florida coach Jim McElwain, showing more post-game frustration than ever

Pick Six

• Ole Miss didn’t need to get to six wins in order to qualify for some anonymous bowl game. What coach Hugh Freeze really needed was additional practice time to develop quarterback Shea Patterson. But at 5-7, the Rebels will have to wait until spring ball.
• With the read-option looks Alabama offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin has introduced to the scheme, ball security has become a bit of an issue with the various fakes and gives. The Crimson Tide fumbled four times against Auburn, although they recovered all of them.
• As great as Fournette is, and he’s generationally great, LSU might not be losing very much assuming he goes to the NFL early. Guice finished second in the SEC in rushing with 1,249 yards despite having fewer carries than the first-, third-, fourth-, fifth- and sixth-place finishers.
• It’s fair to wonder if it was worth it for Texas A&M to bring in Knight at quarterback. In the end, the Aggies still had a poor finish and proved to be more pretender than contender. Knight did some commendable things for the 12th Man, but Sumlin is starting over again in 2017.
• In a senior campaign marked by dizzying highs and cavernous lows, Tennessee’s Joshua Dobbs finished the regular season as the conference’s highest-rated passer. Somehow, he was 31-of-34 for 340 yards with 2 TDs and 0 INTs yet still lost to Vanderbilt on Saturday.
• On the other hand, Georgia’s Jacob Eason actually wrapped up 2016 as the league’s lowest-rated quarterback of the 12 who qualified. With a completion percentage of just 55 and a TD-to-INT ratio of only 14-to-8, the true freshman showed promise but still has a long way to go.

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John Crist is the senior writer for Saturday Down South, a member of the FWAA and a voter for the Heisman Trophy. Send him an e-mail, like him on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.