HOOVER, Ala. — Nick Saban doesn’t care what you think.

It showed, too. The Tide might very well win another SEC championship and national title, but they weren’t the kings of Hoover. Paul Finebaum made sure of that. The smallest guy in the SEC brought the lumber this week.

So who won SEC Media Days?

Let’s call it a split decision.

Bret Bielema, Les Miles, Will Muschamp and Kentucky — yes, Kentucky — were entertaining, and others were equally impressive. Florida, Tennessee, Georgia? You’d be wise to hire every one of their representatives.

Here’s how we ranked the program’s performances:

14. Mississippi State: Pat Forde correctly wrote: “If SEC coaches can find a way to get a misbehaving player on the field, they will.”

Dan Mullen painted the picture that he’s saving Jeffery Simmons, that he’s becoming the father figure Simmons never had. When did Hoover become Hollywood?

Here’s the thing Mullen’s script is missing: Nobody is saying Simmons doesn’t deserve a second chance, or that his entire life — before and moving forward — should be defined by those 10 seconds of unthinkable video. But to pretend like admitting him to play football in the SEC is the only method of saving him is ridiculous.

He could have gone to junior college (and still made it to the NFL). Mississippi State could have admitted him AND suspended him for a year, you know, to ensure he gets the educational help and mentoring on the academic and social side that will help him become the fine young man Mullen described.

This was a talent-based football decision, pure and simple. To insist it was anything else was foolish.

13. Alabama: At least Saban just flat out said he doesn’t care what we think. That’s admirable, certainly more so than his handling of the Cam Robinson situation.

I wrote in May that most coaches hide behind the legal system, hoping that a smart lawyer can get charges reduced or eliminated. That then frees the coach to say: “See, nothing there.”

Finebaum called him on that point, too, when Saban said his players weren’t charged.

Ride-a-longs and off-season community service are fine and good, but I still remember how much worse it was when my mom took away the only thing that mattered to me when I was a misbehaving kid: playing sports.

For their sake and safety, let’s hope Robinson and Hootie Jones understand the gravity of driving around with loaded guns in the car. Kids often focus on the result, though, not the risk. As parents — coaches, mentors, teachers — it’s our job to stress the importance of eliminating the risk. Often that’s through punishment.

To his credit, Saban said he didn’t condone the behavior, but he also implied that the arresting officers were LSU fans out to get Alabama.

As for the Tide players in Hoover, they looked and spoke like seasoned pros who have zero concerns about their rebuilt offense or Nick’s pick at quarterback. In Saban they trust.

12. Ole Miss: Sense a trend? Hugh Freeze said a lot of the right things — essentially he’ll accept whatever punishment is due — but he did some dancing, too, around looming NCAA issues.

Chad Kelly put the SEC on notice. He said he thinks he’s the best quarterback in America, clearly isn’t intimidated by Alabama, wants to go 15-0 and win a national championship.

11. Missouri: Poor Tigers. Losing their athletic director the night before they arrived added to the sense of doom surrounding the school, program.

10. Vanderbilt: V was for vanilla. Nothing wrong with their performance, but others were more engaging. Warning: Don’t mess with Derek Mason.

9. Auburn: The Tigers led off SEC Media Days. Probably should have batted ninth.

8. Texas A&M: Normally, it’s the receivers and defensive backs who do the talking. In Hoover, the defensive ends essentially sent a message to SEC quarterbacks. Nobody talked bigger than Myles Garrett, who said his goal was to get 20 sacks and become the No. 1 pick in next April’s NFL Draft.

“I have to live up to my expectations, which is to break all the records that I can, dominate by a wide margin,” Garrett said. “Let it be unanimous. Don’t let anyone be close to how good you are.”

7. South Carolina: They call him Coach Boom for a reason. Will Muschamp had the Radio/Internet room rolling with his tales about Kirby Smart. As for the Gamecocks, their best performance came in a shoutout to the Head Ball Coach on their way out of town.

6. Georgia: No stage fright for rookie coach Kirby Smart. Next year, though, the SEC has to pair Georgia and South Carolina back-to-back, or better yet, just let Smart and Muschamp share the same stage. Two chairs at each end of a long table, mic in the middle.

Fireworks.

Oh, and Jacob Eason? The Georgia players like him. A lot.

5. Kentucky: Some teams were more serious than others. Kentucky offered a nice balance. All three players and coach Mark Stoops talked about the culture change in Lexington. Courtney Love, a transfer, impressed with his demonstrated willingness to be a leader in the community, not just on 3rd-and-7. And Jojo Kemp? Nobody will forget how much fun he had. Dance moves, and all.

4. Tennessee: Who wouldn’t hire Joshua Dobbs? The Gators talked and talked, and the Vols didn’t bite. Yet, anyway. Sept. 24 can’t get here soon enough.

3. Arkansas: Bielema could do stand up comedy. Who else could work Farrah Fawcett into a conversation about recruiting, and have it make sense? If this were an entertainment ranking, he’d be the runaway winner.

2. Florida: The SEC doesn’t have an All-Character Team, but Jarrad Davis would be a unanimous selection. No wonder Jim McElwain was beaming, standing along the wall listening as Davis explained how a man should — and should not — treat a woman. Football’s football, but Davis’ public awareness of social issues was a highlight.

Best part? It didn’t sound rehearsed.

1. LSU: From Les Miles to Leonard Fournette, the Tigers were entertaining, poised, professional yet engaging. Fournette talked about how eating Wheaties helps him deal with Myles Garrett.

Miles might not cut it as a romantic lead, which he joked about while describing his acting skills, but as a football coach, he’s worth having around many more years.

For our sake, let’s hope he’s back in Hoover next year.

Chris Wright is Executive Editor at SaturdayDownSouth.com. Email him at cwright@saturdaydownsouth.com.