Man, I miss sports. As we wrap up another week of quarantine, I am honestly so excited for the NBA’s proposed H-O-R-S-E tournament, featuring some big-name players like Trae Young and Chris Paul shooting in their home gyms.

Do you realize how utterly boring that would be under normal circumstances? My goodness, it’s just going to be guys launching shots from half court or making routine jumpers. That’s not good television.

However, it’s going to draw huge ratings if it does happen, simply because there’s nothing else going on. Also, people are desperate to gamble on sports. Any sports.

Anyway, as we continue to isolate ourselves in the hopes of stopping the COVID-19 pandemic from spreading, let’s dive into this week’s Mailbag questions:

Robert:

The sports documentary landscape is pretty saturated at this point, but what SEC team or event would you like to see a documentary about?

This isn’t going to be a popular answer, but I’ll go with the 2015 Mizzou football team. The Tigers were coming off of back-to-back SEC East titles in 2013 and 2014 under coach Gary Pinkel, but the wheels fell off in 2015. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

It was clear from the very start that the offense was broken. The Tigers famously only beat UConn 9-6 in the third game of the season. Then, later in the year, they lost 10-3 at Vanderbilt.

The Tigers ultimately finished 5-7, but this season was defined by major off-the-field storylines. A series of racially charged incidents on campus led to tension. Students, including many football players, felt university system president Tim Wolfe’s response to the incidents wasn’t good enough. Protests led to his resignation. At one point, there was talk that the football team would boycott games until Wolfe resigned.

Then, there was the bombshell Pinkel dropped in mid-November — he would be stepping down at the end of the year after being diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. The next day, the Tigers went out and beat BYU 20-16 at Arrowhead Stadium in what would be Pinkel’s last win as a head coach. I still remember getting goosebumps watching that game.

Please spare me your “safe space” and “Mizzou doesn’t belong in the SEC” rants in the comments section. They’re tired, misguided and played out. The point is that a documentary about Mizzou’s 2015 season would be fascinating and I, for one, would be glued to the TV.

@Dobbe8:

Your team is down 4 points, 2 minutes left with the ball on the road. Which current SEC quarterback do you trust most to get you a win?

Why couldn’t you have asked me this during the 2019 season when Joe Burrow and Tua Tagovailoa (and even Jake Fromm) still counted? Now, this is a much tougher question, as the SEC is severely depleted at the quarterback position.

I think there are 3 main candidates who have the experience and wouldn’t freeze in a big moment — Georgia’s Jamie Newman, Florida’s Kyle Trask and Texas A&M’s Kellen Mond.

The problem with Trask is that he doesn’t have much experience in close games. In the 2019 games that Trask won with Florida, the Gators only once had a victory of fewer than 10 points, and that was a win by 8 over Virginia in the Orange Bowl.

Newman went 4-2 in one-possession games with Wake Forest last year and Mond went 3-2 in one-possession games for the Aggies. Since Mond has SEC experience and Newman doesn’t, I’ll take Mond, but it’s a close call.

Rachel:

Last week, I asked you to put together a coaching staff with characters from “The Office.” What would a coaching staff with “Parks and Recreation” characters look like?

In case you missed “The Office” coaching staff in last week’s Mailbag, you can find it here. As for “Parks and Rec,” I think there are a number of quality options to fill out the important positions on a staff (just as long as Jerry/Larry/Gary Gurgich/Gingurch isn’t involved).

Here’s how I’d fill out a staff with that shows characters:

  • Athletic director: Leslie Knope
  • Head coach: Ben Wyatt
  • Offensive coordinator: Andy Dwyer
  • Defensive coordinator: Ron Swanson
  • Recruiting director: Tom Haverford
  • Strength and conditioning coach: Chris Traeger
  • Head trainer: Ann Perkins

Now, again, that staff wouldn’t fare very well in the SEC, but I do think I’d pick the “Parks and Rec” staff to beat whatever team “The Office” crew was able to cobble together. Ron Swanson’s defense would be elite.

@SChinni12:

Which current SEC football coach do you see being at their current school the longest?

Hmm, that’s a tough question, but I’ll talk my way through it. I’ll eliminate Nick Saban since he’s 68. Alabama would be happy to have him around as long as he wants, but I think he’ll retire within the next 5 years (just a prediction). At 58, I think Ed Orgeron is also a bit on the older side. Mike Leach is 59, so he’s in that same boat.

Then there are the coaches who are frequently on the hot seat — Gus Malzahn, Will Muschamp and Derek Mason. Let’s remove those guys from the mix, too. I’m also going to eliminate the guys who are entering their first years at their current schools — Eliah Drinkwitz, Sam Pittman and Lane Kiffin.

Thus, we have 5 candidates — Kirby Smart at Georgia, Jeremy Pruitt at Tennessee, Dan Mullen at Florida, Jimbo Fisher at Texas A&M and Mark Stoops at Kentucky. I think the pressure is too high at Tennessee and Florida, so I’ll eliminate Pruitt and Mullen unless they start winning SEC titles and getting to the College Football Playoff.

A&M is basically locked into Fisher until 2028, so the question is, can Stoops or Smart outlast that? I’m going to take Smart in this one. The Bulldogs gave Mark Richt 15 years, so I think the administration will be patient with Smart. He is a heck of a recruiter, and once Nick Saban retires, I believe Georgia will become an even bigger player on the national stage. We’ll see how the next few years play out, though!

Have a question for next week’s Mailbag? Tweet at us using #SDSMailbag or email me at ASpencer@SaturdayDownSouth.com.