There is a ridiculous cold front moving throughout the country. I mean, it’s 50 degrees here! The humanity! Oh, it’s negative degrees other places? Well, that’s bad too.

Since everyone is all bundled up questioning why they decided to live in the cold, it is the perfect opportunity to dream up vacation spots. Specifically, dream up vacation spots for SEC coaches based on their 2014 performance.

Gary Pinkel: Bora Bora

As the SEC coach of the year, Pinkel gets one of those all expenses paid vacations. Not to a Sandals resort, though that could be pretty great too. But for winning the SEC East again, after being overlooked again, Pinkel gets to sip on boat drinks in his own bachelor pad of a bungalow over the water in Bora Bora.

Butch Jones – Detroit

Yeah, it seems not awesome. As well it should. I mean, I’m sure that Detroit has it’s perks, but overall, you don’t find a whole lot of people trying to get to Detroit for vacation. That being said, it’s the home of U.S. auto-making, so there is some good stuff happening there. Butch Jones has long been leaning on the “brick by brick” mantra, so what better place to visit than the auto capital of the country? The auto industry is experiencing a bit of a resurgence, much like the Tennessee football program.

Bret Bielema – Yellowstone

At first glance, you’re probably thinking, “Wait, what? What kind of place is Yellowstone for a vacation? Gary Pinkel gets a bungalow and Bielema gets a tent?” Well, yeah. Bielema’s team in 2014 was much like a Buffalo, not really much to look at, but you didn’t want to mess with it either. Also, Yellowstone is low-key pretty awesome. If you got the kids in the car, they would probably hate the idea first, but then once they experienced all that Yellowstone had to offer, they would be like “You know what? That was pretty cool.”

Nick Saban – Bahamas

The Bahamas are a great place to go to unwind for a while, especially after a long season. They aren’t that extravagant, being relatively close to the states and all, but a great place nonetheless. Alabama had a great season by all accounts, except maybe their own. With the bar set so high on a year-to-year basis, it is tough to live up to expectations. So, Saban gets to go on a very nice, but low key vacation in a relatively close locale.

Les Miles – Iceland

Okay, so, remember in D2: The Mighty Ducks when coach Bombay is out on a date with the enemy trainer from team Iceland and she says “Greenland is full of ice, but Iceland is very nice” (or something like that)? That somehow encapsulates the 2014 season and Les Miles. Seemingly every year there is a large portion of people who want to run Miles out of town. That is the initial negative connotation of Iceland. But then, when you look at everything and realize, “Hey, you know what? We’ve got it pretty good with ol’ Les” – that is the realization that Iceland is actually a nice place to visit.

Mark Richt – Mount Rushmore

Mount Rushmore itself is a pretty awesome place, I actually visited the monument on a cross-country trip from San Diego to Boston. One thing about that trip I’ll remember is the consistently long days of driving with awesome moments interspersed from time-to-time. Outside of the awesome moments, there were stretches where you are surrounded by a whole lot of nothingness. This season, Georgia’s “Mount Rushmore” was probably going to Missouri and beating them 34-0. A dominant performance. But, they had the low times too – losses to South Carolina, Florida, and Georgia Tech. Basically the type of season fans have come to expect from Mark Richt, a consistently strong season with some highlights and lowlights. A Mount Rushmore win, then a bunch of corn surrounding it.

Gus Malzahn – Biloxi, MS

Malzahn and the Tigers underwhelmed this season with a 4-4 conference record. While they showed flashes of greatness, Auburn fell apart down the stretch. So, instead of the more popular New Orleans, Malzahn gets to check out the Gulf and do some gambling in Biloxi.

Mark Stoops – Little Palm Island, in the rain

After getting off to a hot start Stoops booked a trip to Little Palm Island in the Florida Keys. A great spot to kick back and relax after being relevant once again in the SEC. But then the Wildcats came back down to earth and missed a bowl game. Sadly, for Stoops, the weather turned bad during his vacation and he had to spend it indoors looking at the rain hit the ocean.

Kevin Sumlin – Outer Banks, offseason

With the Aggies favoring the Air Attack offense, it seems only right for Sumlin to vacation in Kitty Hawk, NC – you know, home of the Wright brothers? Birth of flight? The only thing is, Texas A&M still faltered down the stretch and left a lot to be desired on the defensive side of the ball. So, Sumlin will be headed to the Outer Banks during the winter.

Steve Spurrier – Ponte Vedra, FL

The Head Ball Coach loves him some golf, so he probably won’t be too upset about this destination. While it is a fine destination, there isn’t really a whole lot happening there. Much like South Carolina’s season – not a whole lot went right in 2014. The Gamecocks will be hoping to inject some youth into the program and rebound in 2015.

Derek Mason – Siberia

Vanderbilt is currently a dumpster fire, so Mason is off to the all but uninhabitable Siberia. Hopefully, he can turn those flames into some life for the Commodore program in 2015.

Hugh Freeze and Dan Mullen – Greece

Since the Magnolia State schools both experienced a revival in the same season, the two coaches get to take a joint vacation. The pair should head over to Greece. Both schools came out of nowhere to take college football by storm in 2014. Both non-traditional powers could get a good bang for buck while cruising around the Mediterranean.

Jim McElwain/Will Muschamp

No vacations here as Muschamp was fired and McElwain is new in town.