It’s SEC Media Days! While some fans focus on work and ignore the event and others ignore work and focus on the event, some fans don’t have work to ignore and take things to another level. Well, it’s for these fans that we’re happy to present the Ultimate Drinking Game for the 2017 edition of SEC Media Days.

Monday, July 10

  • 1 sip of beer every time Ed Orgeron says something in Cajun that you can’t understand
  • Sip Rose though a straw every time Butch Jones says something like “5 star hearts” or “Champions of Life”
  • Switch to Mich Ultra or Vodka & Soda every time Bret Bielema gets physically winded from delivering a lengthy answer
  • Chug your drink if Ed Orgeron says LSU fans are “passionate” when he really means alcoholics
  • 1 sip of beer every time you wonder how Butch Jones makes $4 million a year
  • Finish your beer, call your boss and demand a raise once you realize he makes that amount and still spends money on that haircut
  • Stop drinking immediately if you actually understand anything Orgeron says.

Tuesday, July 11

  • 1 sip of beer whenever Jim McElwain denies dry humping that shark from earlier this year
  • 1 shot of Fireball every time Jim McElwain goes out of his way to defend graduate transfer rules because of Malik Zaire
  • Finish your Beam & Ginger or Jack & Coke every time Kirby Smart swoops over his bangs like a Southern frat bro
  • 1 sip of beer every time Kirby Smart brings up UGA’s recruiting class
  • Chug your beer and crush it against your forehead when you realize you still lost to Vandy & Georgia Tech at home last year
  • Switch to communion wine and chug that once you realize you fired Mark Richt for not meeting expectations and then went 7-5 in one of the weakest divisions in all of college football
  • 1 shot of whiskey and a drunk dial to someone special every time Dan Mullen talks about Dak Prescott memories like a lonely ex girlfriend
  • 2 shots of whiskey when you hear Nick Fitzgerald’s name mentioned and don’t know who that is despite him being the best returning QB in the SEC
  • Double fist an ice cold sweet tea and glass of Pinot Grigio every time you mutter “Bless his heart” to yourself during Derek Mason’s press conference like a Southern Belle
  • Take a sip of beer every time Derek Mason brings up Vandy going to a bowl game last year.

Wednesday, July 12

  • Chug an Anheuser-Busch when you forget that Missouri was still in the SEC until Barry Odom takes the stage
  • Chug 2 Anheuser-Busch products whenever some idiot starts talking about Missouri going to West Division even though it will never happen
  • Chug an entire 12 pack when you realize that Mizzou is not only in the conference, but has been to more SEC Championship games over the past 4 years than anyone not named Alabama or Florida
  • Take a sip of bourbon every time Mark Stoops says the phrase “turn the corner” even though we all know Kentucky is going 5-7 again.
  • 1 sip of beer any time Nick Saban gets super uncomfortable around creepy Bama fans
  • Take a Xanax with some red wine whenever Saban’s blood pressure goes through the roof when asked about graduate transfers, early signing periods or Deshaun Watson
  • 1 sip of beer every time Saban says “A’igt”
  • 1 sip of beer whenever Kevin Sumlin is reminded that being undefeated in September in the SEC is about as impressive as Johnny Manziel’s NFL career.

Thursday, July 13

  • Chug a Coors Original and take your shirt off every time you start to miss the Ol Ball Coach during Media Days
  • Take a shot of Rumplemintz and pop in a piece of Trident every time Gus Malzahn starts violently chewing his gum like some coked out bro in Vegas for the weekend
  • Put down your drink and order some popcorn whenever Hugh Freeze takes the podium to watch the uncomfortable train wreck that has become Ole Miss vs. The NCAA
  • Pass whatever you and Laremy Tunsil have been smoking to the rest of us if you honestly think they’re not guilty.