John Mellencamp famously sang in “Pink Houses” that, “There’s winners and there’s losers/but that ain’t no big deal.” Mellencamp, of course, is from Indiana. Nobody from SEC country could say such a thing with a straight face. We’ll break down the good, bad, and ugly of SEC Week 1. Because it means more (than it does to John Mellencamp).

Winners of SEC Week 1

Georgia and Alabama

The rich get richer, and we certainly saw that in week 1. While the South Carolinas and Vanderbilts of the world face FCS foes, the two SEC schools that bit off the biggest scheduling chunk in week 1 fared just fine, thank you.

Georgia, of course, did it with defense, holding Clemson to 3 points and 180 total yards (including 23 rushing attempts for 2 total yards) and also scoring the only touchdown of the game via Christopher Smith’s pick-6.

Alabama did it with everything, racking up 500 yards of offense while forcing 3 turnovers and holding an explosive Miami squad to 266 yards. Of course, Clemson is (probably) better than Miami. But a week in, we could legitimately see two 12-0 SEC squads meet in Alabama — and that’s a tribute to the league’s two big dogs playing legitimate schedules from the get-go.

Kentucky’s passing game

Mark Stoops’ Kentucky teams have been competitive despite playing offense with one hand relatively tied behind their collective back. The past two seasons, UK averaged 114 and 121 passing yards per game. But Saturday, Kentucky threw for 419 yards in a 45-10 win over an admittedly awful UL-Monroe team. Will Levis and Wan’Dale Robinson give Kentucky elements it hasn’t had before — and again, the Wildcats haven’t exactly fared badly even before these playmakers showed up. A league game with Mizzou next week should further establish the Kentucky offense.

Zeb Noland

Sure, every year an SEC team has some back injury luck and ends up shifting a graduate assistant coach back onto the team … only to give him the starting nod in Week 1. Wait, that never happens. Except that it did now.

Noland finished his The Rookie-like story by throwing for 4 touchdowns in South Carolina’s 46-0 win over Eastern Illinois. He only managed 7 TDs in his three seasons at Iowa State and North Dakota State. In a perfect world, we could tell you he used the post-game to lecture his younger teammates on the dangers of fast living before a long night of breaking down game film for Week 2. But if somebody’s going to tell you that, we’ll let it be Disney when they make the movie.

https://twitter.com/247Sports/status/1434350573126660098

MSU’s comeback

Mississippi State might belong on both lists, as they found themselves trailing Louisiana Tech by a 34-14 margin with 13:11 to play. At that point, State’s second half drives went: Punt, fumble, pick-six, punt.

But with their backs to the wall, State’s final three possessions were touchdown, touchdown, and touchdown. Meanwhile, the defense that had struggled forced two three and outs and on the game’s final possession kept Tech on the far edge of field goal range, such that their final field goal try fell short. Shame on MSU for needing this desperate rally, but kudos to them for pulling it off to reach 1-0 in very unlikely fashion.

Losers

Vandy, Vandy, Vandy

Going 0-9 in 2020 was one thing. But bringing in a new staff, setting up this game with an FCS foe for apparently around $415,000 … and then losing 23-3 to East Tennessee State. Ugh. Aside from a couple years of James Franklin magic, it’s fair to wonder if Vandy can ever meaningfully compete in SEC football. If you wanted a good exhibit for a “no” answer, this was it.

Schedule-makers

Look, we all recognize that the SEC is an endurance test like no other. But the few significant week 1 SEC matchups (Bama/Miami, Georgia/Clemson, and LSU/UCLA) only emphasized the weakness of teams playing FCS opponents (Carolina, Vandy) or horrid FBS foes (Kentucky, Auburn, Texas A&M). Week 1 feels like it deserves better.  This is less a call to make the schedules tougher than it is to front-load week 1 a little more. Doesn’t a holiday weekend deserve that privilege?

LSU’s defense

Admittedly, it’s harsh to take anything from this crazy time against the Tigers. Even the most focused athletes in the world would struggle with the after-effects of the recent hurricane, a temporary relocation to Houston, then a trip out west to open against a very good UCLA team.

But after making Bo Pelini the scapegoat for an LSU defense that allowed 34.9 points and 492 yards per game in 2020, Ed Orgeron saw new coordinator Daronte Jones’s defense allow 38 points and 470 yards to the Bruins in the 2021 opener. Given the offenses of the SEC West, it could be a long year for the Tigers.

First-half performances

Among the SEC teams that napped through brutal first halves only to later awaken: Arkansas, which trailed Rice (a 19.5 point underdog) 10-7 at halftime; Mississippi State, which trailed Louisiana Tech (a 20.5 point underdog) 21-14 at the half then 34-14 in the fourth quarter; Missouri, which led just 17-14 over Central Michigan; and Texas A&M, which led Kent State (29.5 point underdog) just 10-3.

Of course, Vandy trailed 10-3 at the half to FCS East Tennessee State (a 21-point dog), but that’s another matter. Even for the SEC squads that did wake up, it was a bad look. Several of the league’s middle of the pack teams particularly did themselves no favors with sluggish opening efforts.