President Gump

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The butt grinder sucks at recruiting high schoolers and the quitter hole both. He's not rebuilding anything.
Pain and suffering. That's the outlook and it's not "way too early" to say it. You know, I never thought a coach could get creepier and weirder than Jim Harbaugh, sleeping over with a teenage boy and watching Netflix with him. Until.... Yup, that's right, we saw Butt Grindin' Brian Kelly take it up about a thousand notches and all but lap dance another teenage boy on what amounted to a stripper stage. The guy had every prop but the chrome pole. Really, just watch it. There's no laughing that off. There's something oddly repressed there people. The Butt Grinder came as close to publicly diddling this kid as you possibly could, without actually diddling him. Just watch the video. It's as though Kelley wanted to rediscover his leather, biker bar days or whatever. He actually butt grinded this kid. Anyhoo. This is LSU now. Let us all point and laugh.
It's funny how the best player on this team trolls it's university and fanbase. Leading them to believe for weeks that he was going to transfer to Alabama. The level of respect this guy has for LSU and Butt Grindin' Brian can be measured in ounces.
Cincinnati stands absolutely no chance in this game at all. None, zero, nada, nothing. There are two Alabama teams this year. Good Alabama and bad Alabama. If bad Alabama shows up, they'll win by 14. If good Alabama shows up, it's a blood bath. A disembowelment. Good Alabama dismantles Cincinnati the same way a troubled child coldly takes apart a butterfly. Spoiler alert. Good Alabama shows up and when that happens, how does Cincinnati score points? Where do they come from? How does that soft, undersized "group of five" offensive line survive the Alabama pass rush? How does Jerome Ford, an Alabama wash out run the ball? How does Cincinnati stop a 100% Brian Robinson? They're horrible against the run, playing against largely worthless "group of five" teams. How could anyone possibly think they'll hold up against the Alabama run game? Alabama will run the ball, then run it again and then after that, keep running it. No, no, no people. When Alabama is resting key starters at the half, everyone who believed Cincinnati belonged in this playoff will be gobsmacked back into the reality that the "group of five" simply doesn't belong. Alabama will make history. They'll be the first team to scrimmage their apponent in a College Football Playoff semifinal. 48 to 10 Alabama.
There's so little to talk about regarding Butt grindin' Brian and this LSU team. So much so, that there's one article after another detailing the NFL exploits of one of their transfer players. The Butt grinder can't close out recruiting and he can't hire any coordinators worth having. So I suppose there really isn't anything to talk about. This all sounds oh so familiar, doesn't it. Meanwhile, the Alabama Crimson Tide is poised to make history by winning two national championships in a row. With their last championship run being the greatest season in the history of the SEC. Oh well.
Butt grindin' Brian needs a stripper pole right there in the middle of the LSU locker room, so he can recruit all nice and proper. It's not enough that he grinds and rubs butt to butt on teenage boys. He's gotta take it up a notch, put on the heels and get to swingin'.
Sorry folks. I meant "group of five" schedule. The butt grinder hasn't sniffed at a legit power five schedule since, well never. He will now though. And he won't like it.
There's rumors floating around, Butt grindin' Brian is gonna hire Pete Golding from Alabama. Golding and this Debrock guy on the same staff with the butt grinder would be the best possible coaching hire Nick Saban, the head football coach for the Alabama Crimson Tide could possibly hope for. Please let this happen. At least one of them.
This Brian Kelly circle jerk, the purple and yellow have been engaged in has sorta gone dry. Nobody worth having wants to work for this guy. Isn't it now obvious to you people that he was a desperation hire? I know you folks need to believe this was Woodward's plan all along but surely you all now realize this isn't true. All that money for a guy who was never on the list to start with. A guy who can't recruit at an SEC level and a guy who's gonna get eaten alive when the time comes. Butt grindin' Brian has been playing a power five schedule since, well he was coaching in the power five. Notre Dame under him was no better than, oh I dunno....Cincinnati? Yeah, we'll say Cincinnati. The team who just won the tallest midget contest and politely taught the butt grinder some manners. The maws of pain people. It was your past under Coach Whiteboots and it's your future under Butt grindin' Brian.
This is the least of it. If Boutte bails for the greatest college football program in history, as he's rumored to do. Then the entire purple and yellow fanbase will need group therapy. Oh the sweet, sweet melts.
Is kelly gonna grind on him butt to butt, like he did to that Howard kid? How many have turned Kelly down, that he’s now dipping into the Kentucky ranks?
Is kelly gonna grind on him butt to butt, like he did to that Howard kid? How many have turned Kelly down, that he's now dipping into the Kentucky ranks?
So here's what this is about. Brian Kelly is a lazy recruiter. This isn't some new revelation, everyone knows it and this reputation has followed him for years. Don't believe the lies people. Recruiting at Notre Dame isn't the academic hassle it's made out to be. The average ACT score of a Notre Dame football player is 22. This isn't North Western, Stanford or Vanderbilt we're talking about here. Those schools actually hold their student athletes to a high academic standard. Notre Dame, at it's core is a football school and they make many, many exceptions for their players and recruits. Just look at the rankings over the past 10 years. Notre Dame routinely recruits in the 10 to 15 range, even with Brian Kelly's laziness. Watch and see now what happens with Notre Dame's recruiting and how it improves now that Kelly is gone. Have any Notre Dame guys even followed Kelly to LSU? They have for Lincoln Riley, they will for Mario Cristobal. Proof right there Kelly's not the one actually hustling for players. Also, it's pretty easy to recruit to Notre Dame when you have a national network of private catholic schools to cherry pick from. Kelly isn't used to working for a living the way Saban does or even Ogeron had to do. Enter Frank Wilson. This is the guy who's supposed to make it a little easier on Kelly but it won't work. The best players will want time with the head man and when Kelly has to do a sit, that lazy recruiting he could get away with a Notre Dame won't work in a Louisiana living room. Kelly's unlikable and that shortcoming can't be fixed by Frank Wilson.
Ok. So none of the coaches that matter are following Kelly to LSU. Got it. Carry on.
Let’s all just marinate in this for a moment. A Brian Kelly led football team lost to the very team Alabama is about to dismantle, the way a troubled child dismantles a butterfly. Cincinnati sitting pretty in this playoff is the football version of affirmative action and the concept of “equity”. They simply don’t belong and of course Nick Saban will do what Brian Kelly miserably failed to do and that’s expose Cincinnati as the tallest midget in the group of five. This is the coach LSU hired. A guy who simply can’t seal the deal against one of the softest teams on his schedule. A schedule absolutely filled with soft teams. Pushed to the wall and into overtime by a garbage FSU team. Pushed to the wall by, you guessed it…Toledo. Pushed to the wall by a garbage VA Tech team. Yeah, Brian Kelly really gets the knees a’ knockin’, doesn’t he. Nick Saban and the entirety of the Alabama fanbase approves of this hire. Congratulations??
Let's all just marinate in this for a moment. A Brian Kelly led football team lost to the very team Alabama is about to dismantle, the way a troubled child dismantles a butterfly. Cincinnati sitting pretty in this playoff is the football version of affirmative action and the concept of "equity". They simply don't belong and of course Nick Saban will do what Brian Kelly miserably failed to do and that's expose Cincinnati as the tallest midget in the group of five. This is the coach LSU hired. A guy who simply can't seal the deal against one of the softest teams on his schedule. Pushed to the wall and into overtime by a garbage FSU team. Pushed to the wall by, you guessed it...Toledo. Pushed to the wall by a garbage VA Tech team. Yeah, Brian Kelly really gets the knees a' knockin', doesn't he. Nick Saban and the entirety of the Alabama fanbase approves of this hire. Congratulations??
LSU just spent a grotesque amount of money on a guy Scott Woodward had to "settle" for. This isn't who he wanted people and for good reason. Every season, Notre Dame wins playing a schedule as soft as any group of five team in the country. How do you think Cincinnati beat them? Why do you think Kelly has a lousy record against the SEC? Here's why. LSU hired a group of five coach. The entire Alabama fanbase and university, right down to the guy who does the floors approves of this hire. Oh and how many Women and Children's hospitals did TAF rip off to pay this ridiculous amount of money for Les Miles 2.0? Because you know that's what you've got, right? The bad decisions Nick Saban and Alabama have forced upon this conference over the years makes me smile.
Nick Saban, the head football coach for the Alabama Crimson Tide approves of this hire.
Nick Saban, the head football coach for the Alabama Crimson Tide approves of this hire.
He decommited because LSU's white knight of all things football, Scott Woodward doesn't have a headcoach lined up. I live in Louisiana people and believe me when I tell you, this sad, deluded bunch legit believed Woodward was going to hire a Saban level coach. I chit you not, they actually believed they would get the second best football coach in the country and that his name would be Lincoln Riley. The melt here in these parts is epic and oh so sweet. No one worth having wants to coach at LSU and no one worth having wants to live in the greater Baton Rouge area. Baton Rouge is a filthy, undesirable and depressing city filled with crime, horrid traffic, bad schools and zero culture. Think 70's Cleveland.
Lincoln Riley gives Scott Woodward and the entire LSU fanbase the middle finger. Now he may take the USC job? Hold on a second while I put on my depends. Ok, now I can proceed to laughing 'til I wet myself. Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Ok, now this is more LSU's speed. A second or third tier guy.
I implore you. When your President speaks, listen. I'm never wrong and so many of you resent me for it. It's hurtful. Anyhoo. LSU is not a destination program. Never has been, never will be. Honestly, what made you people believe Scott Woodward would not get played in all this? Who is this guy that you all believed he would somehow elevate this football program? You folks have been frothy and sticking to the sofa over this guy since the day he arrived. It's so weird. Tome Herman played you. Jimbo Fisher played you and now Lincoln Riley. Who next will use LSU and Scott Woodward to get something they want?
Oh the sadness of it all. And they call me a troll. No, the troll is Lincoln Riley. This guy knows what he's doing. Before it's all over with, Riley will have exactly what he wants from Oklahoma and just like Tom Herman and Jimbo Fisher before him, he'll use LSU to get it. This is the way it is people. LSU football is a stepping stone, not a destination. It never has been, it never will be. Garble garble garble garble gumbo. Garble garble garble garble go tigas. Back when Dacoacheaux was hired, they all proudly proclaimed how he was “one of them”. I mean they wouldn’t shut up about it. Now? Not so much. Now they won’t claim him and they won’t claim him for the very same reason they were initially in love with him. And that’s because he is indeed “one of them”. It was like listening to a recording of your own voice or looking in a mirror. Once the guy started losing and humiliating himself, this state and this fanbase with his actions and words, it was as though the entire lot of them said "He really is one of us”. After that, the collective embarrassment set in and now they want no association with him. In fact, they’re disgusted with him and all the guy did was show everyone that he and this fanbase are exactly the same. When the real Yawyaw showed his true self. The loudmouthed, yatty loser he is. He also exposed this fanbase as his kin, as his people. They didn’t like that one bit. Ed Ogeron is who they all are.
Oh geez. LSU's savior (Scott Woodward) just keeps striking out. This guy couldn't even secure Mel Tucker, his favored "diversity" hire. This fanbase goes from "white whale" to filet o fish in the span of about two weeks. This deep abiding love and admiration they have for Scott Woodward is about to come to a screeching halt. They think that just because this guy hired Mulkey and turned LSU into a Women's basketball school (they're all so proud) that he'll also hit a homerun with this football hire. Well when they end up with a guy out of the group of five or some lousy power five team, they're gonna lose they're collective chit. Oh the sweet, sweet melts. No one worth having wants to coach at LSU and that's not some big revelation. That's how they ended up with Coach Whiteboots. LSU is a woke, moribund university. It has a legit nasty and hostile fanbase and the greater Baton Rouge area is depressing. We're talking 70's Cleveland depressing. Anyhoo. Happy friendsgiving. The search continues.
Les East says this..."An inordinate number of players have been lost to injury – most for the remainder of the season." Bullchit. The truth of the matter is an "inordinate number of players" have used minor injuries that could've waited until the end of the season, have bailed on their worthless coaching staff, fans and university. Everyone knows this. Tell this story as it actually is, not the fantasy version. Les East says this too..."LSU is still hampered by the trickle-down effect of a nearly 2-year-long stream of players leaving behind remaining eligibility to head to the NFL or other college programs." The Alabama Crimson Tide has this problem as well and they keep chugging along. Not only that, Alabama puts far and away more players in the NFL than any other program, especially first rounders. Stop with the incessant excuse making. The mythos of NFLSU is a lie. Here's another Les East nugget..."But LSU can still provide a bright future for players." No it can't. Gubner John Bel, Willie Tate and Scott Woodward have virtue to signal and that takes priority over winning. LSU is now a woke, progressive, CRT loving university that has boxes to check off and make no mistake about it, those boxes are gonna get checked off. We saw that with the Mulkey hire. Who pays 2 million dollars a year for someone to coach a non-revenue sport that no one at all cares about or will watch? Well woke LSU and Scott Woodward, that's who. Sit with this for a moment. LSU is now a woman's basketball school. Box checked off.
Poeple do understand why he's being kept around, right? He's a low IQ, Larose mud duck. He's typical of the petty and vendictive political culture that permeates the state of Louisiana. The state I live in and know well. He wants his. Not only does he want his buyout but he also wants the privilege of leaving on his terms, no matter what the cost and believe me when I tell you this. The cost will be high. Coach Whiteboots knows where the bodies are buried and Scott Woodward is ensnared by his short and curlies on all this. Yawyaw gets what he wants, no matter how badly this damages LSU. Soon mass quantities of LSU players will enter the portal. Recruiting will suffer badly. It's now a foregone conclusion that Walker Howard will decommit. Everyone knows Quincy Wiggins will end up at Alabama and the rumblings now are that the 5 star North Louisiana offensive lineman they have committed is also listening to Nick Saban. Coach Whiteboots has effectively stopped recruiting and his presence continues to degrade and erode LSU to such a degree that they may not even rate the quality "diversity" hire they so crave. Why would an average Mel Tucker consider LSU now? Even in conference the LSU name is mud. Imagine how it looks nationally. But alas, this fanbase wanted "one of their own" and man did they get they wanted. Five years people. Five years of not mattering one single bit. That's what this fanbase has to look forward too.