Head Ball Coach
I enjoy golf and calling up my ball plays against Clemson and Georgia.
I thought 6-6 and a Birmingham or Independence Bowl bid would be a big step in Muschamp's first year. If this guy is saying the Music City Bowl he's thinking 7-5 or even 8-4 for us.
Or they could have just denied the hell out of it and let it drag out for 6 years like North Carolina has, right? So anyway, let me get back to my foursome.
Volunteers vs. Mountaineers? That's a lot of hillbillies in one place. So anyway...
Yeah, I don't want to work with anyone that would let this UNC thing drag out for 6 years. I remember we had a few starters out for our opener vs. Southern Miss when Marvin Austin drug us into it. That was the season opener in 2010! So anyway, I've got to get to the #10 tee. My group is waiting on me and the only reason I came in the club house was to grab a couple of banquet beers. See yall later.
I tried like hell to make Steve Jr into Steve Sr and it was just never gonna work. So anyway.... yeah, he'd be a pretty good QC coach. He wasn't worth a damn at Carolina and I figured he'd end up as a WR coach at Samford or Appalachian State. Somewhere like that. But, you know, this, that, and the other happens and it didn't work out. I hope he gets the job.
I guess it will be good for the Gamecocks to have a full time head coach for the first time in quite a while. That last guy spent too much time on the golf course doing this, that, and the other...drinking too many banquet beers. So anyway, looks like they uh... got a good one to me.
Playing Augusta National today. I just made the turn and stopped in the clubhouse to get me a Coors orignal and a chicken salad sandwich and to check my email. I saw this and had to throw my 2 cents in. Just glad to know the SDS writers know that South Carolina, is not, in fact, the worst team in the league this year. I've been on the phone with ole Tom Herman out at Houston to see if he wants to put on his big boy visor and come down to Columbia and get this mess straightened out. He said he will be there on Monday, November 30th after the big Clempson win to be introduced as the new head ball coach. It's in the neighborhood of $3.5 million per year plus "all the money he needs" for assistants. Probably looking at about 8-4 and a Outback Bowl trip in 2016. I'll probably make it a day trip over from my house in Crescent Beach. See yall later.
First rule of a football fight -- keep your helmet on.
Who says South Carolina is cash strapped? They wouldn't have all that money if it weren't for me. Now I've got a little more coin in my pocket for those new irons I've had my eyes on and maybe a new 5 series for Jerri.
Looks like that's the day me and the boys roll into town. I've already called Birminham and requested a noon game for this one. But anyway, they're going to need all the help they can get though. The offense will be clicking by that time and we've got this, that, and the other going on on defense. Hey, why does Kevin Sumlin carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE!!
Dabo probably has a pair too. He'll match them up with a ugly gray K-Mart sweatshirt this fall.
Shoot, I get up there and start talking about this, that, and the other and everyone thinks I'm taking shots at people. The only shots I'm worried about are the ones I'm taking on the golf course this afternoon. If I were going to take shots at people I'd just say Bret Beilema is the perfect coach of the Hogs because he weighs 400 pounds and Tennessee is full of inbred, racist, rednecks which is why as soon as I turned 18 I high tailed it out of there and only go back every other October because the SEC says I have to. So anyway, we've got a few JUCOs and Prep school guys to help out on the D-line so we think we're going to be much improved this year on that side of the ball. Mitch and Nunez have looked good at QB and I think we're going to be OK on the OL. Oh, and one more thing, do you know what Billy Graham and Mark Richt have in common? Both of them can make 80,000 people stand up and yell, "JESUS CHRIST!" One more -- do you know what you get when you put 20 Clemson fans in a room together? A full set of teeth.
You're bitter because I've been taking teams with half the talent Georgia has and been whipping their butts on a regular basis for 25 years.
I was telling Jadeveon back when he was in the 9th grade that Nick was a little twerp. So anyway, got to go. Got to get this, that, and the other done around here so I can get to my 3:44 tee time.
Never a doubt on Brandon. Good kid who will be in the mix to start here next fall. So anyway, looking forward to seeing him in action. I'll be working on this, that, and the other this morning and watching Brandon this afternoon. Tomorrow I've got a 8:44 tee time. So anyway....is that it? OK. See you guys later.
Can't wait to get out there with Brandon and pitch it around. He was in camp the other day...I called...this, that, and the other...so anyway...he looks like he's going to be a good one. We'll coach him up, see what he can do.
7. The building is nice but Sanford Stadium is the most overrated place in the nation. FedEx Field was louder when I was leading the Redskins to 5 win seasons. Come to think of it, 35,000 people at Duke can get louder than Sanford Stadium. It's just a hot, humid town full of drunks and retards....and that's just the women. 6. At Neyland Stadium the visitors side concourse looks like something from Mad Max. It looks like they built in in 1948 and haven't spent a dime on it since. I guess they're still paying the rest of Fulmer's contract...and Pearl's....and Raleigh's....and Tyndall's...and Dooley's. The river location is nice but the stadium looks like one of those huge dumps I take when I make the turn. I guess that's why I always play a little better on the back 9. And what's up with the small seats? Can you really add 10,000 seats without doing any construction? The average Tennessee fan weighs 425 pounds and the seats at Neyland are 9.25 inches wide. Is that safe? That stadium was designed to hold 90,000 average people, not 104,000 people who all have their own shows on the Discovery Channel that follows their weight loss journey. Can a 100 year old POS structure hold an extra 22 tons? I ain't sittin in the upper deck. I can guarantee you that. 4. Bryant Denny is the biggest let down on the whole list. I've taken teams to louder stadiums when I was at Duke back in the late 80's. Yeah, I'm talking about Wake Forest and Virginia. That's the quietest I've ever heard 100,000 people, except all those times I've won in Neyland. 1. Tiger Stadium is loud and intimidating but that's it. As a facility, the Big Sombrero down in Tampa back in my USFL days 30 years ago was a nicer stadium. Tiger Stadium smells like an old moldy corn dog that's in need of a face lift. My man boobs need less lifting than that visitors side does. Last time I was there I stood in 3 inches of piss in the men's room and it ran all the way out onto the concourse. Little coon asses were making paper boats out of their corn dog wrappers and sailing them down to the t-shirt stand.
We've really cut down on it since I've been at Carolina. When we first got here we had them getting arrested all the time for this, that, and the other but not many lately. So anyway, we've got that going for us. Hopefully, I can call my ball plays this fall and we can win a few more than we did last year. Maybe Coach Hoke and the defense can get a few more stops than last year. Hey, I played down at Kiawah Island yesterday. Shot an 81 after I three putted on 18.
We've got a few tricks up our sleeve this year. I got ol Hoke back from the pros, so anyway, we're going to give it our best shot. We've got some new defensive linemen from JUCO and prep school that should be able to help out with this, that, and the other. OK, got to go. I've got an 11:25 tee time.
Southeastern and Southwestern Conferences Ethan? So the SEC teams left their former conference foes like South Carolina, North Carolina, and Virginia and they formed the Southwestern Conference? Really?
I've always thought of ol Dabo as not being very bright. But if he can convince Bama to hire him as their head coach then he's at least smarter than Bill Battle. I guess that's all that matters in this situation.
As usual, Vandy, Ole Miss, and Mississippi State have embarrassing non-conference schedules. Almost as embarrassing as Nicky Saban's handicap.
I've usually had too many original Coors in the VIP area to be assisting the bouncers. They're usually the ones helping me find the ATM machine.
Clemson fans never have liked me very much. Hell, I gave em one this year because about half the fan base was on Xanex and I felt sorry for them. Once I get Champ locked up we'll go on another run against the Fightin Dabos.
You have entirely too much time on your hands. You need a hobby. I suggest golf or calling ball plays.
No sheet Garner is staying. Who will deliver the duffel bags?
You boys just sit back and let the adults handle this. I just told Ray the press conference will be Monday morning after I get in 18 over at Woodcreek. Looks like it's going to be a good one.
Yall don't worry about this. I'll have Champ locked up by the end of the week.
I don't see ole Dabo as the head coach at my alma mater. The man slept with his mother in college and Chad Morris refuses to let him turn his headset on during games. These are both confirmed facts. Besides, their dumb AD gave him a $20 million buyout so he's not going anywhere.
I'd call that blonde Auburn girl whatever she wanted me to as long as she calls me Big Daddy.