It was Bum Phillips who once famously opined that former Alabama coach Paul W. Bryant “can take his’n and beat your’n, and then he can turn around and take your’n and beat his’n.”

Generations later, we probably will never know if Alabama’s Nick Saban could take LSU’n and beat his’n. But on Saturday, Saban’s his’n sure beat the socks off the Tigers in a game that wasn’t even as close as the 55-17 score indicated.

Everywhere you looked on what has historically been a chaotic scene whenever the lights are on during Saturday nights in Red Stick, it was clear that this was Alabama’s world and that LSU was negligent on paying the rent. Najee Harris was forcing Tigers defenders into business decisions en route to an early touchdown. Mac Jones (20-for-28, 385 yards, 4 touchdowns) confounded the LSU secondary so completely that they completely failed to cover Tide wide receivers — except when they did, DeVonta Smith made them pay anyway. And the combination was enough to rack up 469 yards and score the most points Alabama has ever recorded in Baton Rouge … in the opening half.

Name the sport, and you can certainly come up with the 1-hit wonders — the teams that climb the proverbial mountain with an enviable combination of talent, mojo and rub of the green to grab the brass ring.

Or in LSU’s case, an oddly-shaped gold obelisk that marked the Tigers as the best college football in the land in 2019.

Problem was, LSU got just a little too mouthy in the process of winning it all, particularly in the visiting locker room at Bryant-Denny Stadium — as coach Ed Orgeron let loose a “Roll Tide what? [Expletive] you!” that got disseminated by social media in the hours after the 46-41 victory.

That didn’t sit well, as you might imagine, with Saban and the Crimson Tide. Independent of whomever was going to end up playing in the 2020 version of Tigers-Tide, you better believe there would be an inferno’s worth of fire lit under the participants on the visiting side of Death Valley.

So when the receipt was delivered Saturday night, it was done so with more than the usual gusto. This wasn’t just Round 9 of Joyless Murderball. This was a historic butt-kicking so complete we half expected Mills Lane to step in and stop it at halftime. Whatever coaching rust Saban had on him from missing his 1st game in 47 years due to COVID-19 didn’t appear to show — though, really, offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian probably could’ve handled this just as well.

LSU did have its moments, of course. The Tigers are a real, live SEC team after all. John Emery followed superb blocking en route to a 54-yard TD run, and Jontre Kirklin sopped up a goal-line fumble at the end of a 43-yard pass from TJ Finley to Kayshon Boutte. And yes, we are aware that LSU was rolling out a true freshman quarterback along with a host of players who didn’t opt out midseason.

Problem was, that was the “thanks for playing” portion of the proceedings. Right after Emery high-stepped his way into the end zone, Jones found future NFL superstar Smith on a 61-yard touchdown pass that was capped by Smith blowing kisses to a half-empty Tiger Stadium crowd. Following that nifty pitch-and-catch, Jones was a mere 11-of-11 for 243 yards and 3 touchdowns for a 375.6 passer rating.

Alabama’s first 5 drives in the game only took 9:53 off the clock, which sucks if you’re playing ball control. It got to the point late in the first half that LSU took to (inadvertently) redefining targeting by hitting Harris squarely in the nether regions during a tackle in an attempt to slow the bludgeoning — which kinda worked, as it led to a Will Reichard field goal instead of the touchdowns every other Tide drive produced.

But the piece de resistance? Smith’s 1-handed, Lynn Swann-like snag of a 20-yard Jones dart that appeared destined for the 4th row of the student section but instead gave Smith a ridiculous 7-catch, 219-yard, 3-touchdown first 30 minutes of football.

The Jones-for-Heisman talk now hits high gear, with only SEC East champ Florida and *their* Heisman candidate standing in the way in Atlanta in 2 weeks. With all due respect to Kyle Trask, we know what a Heisman winner looks like. And you, Mr. Trask, are not a Heisman winner. The only way Jones doesn’t deserve Mr. Stiff Arm is if he splits votes with Smith and Harris — who will happily dry their tears with Brinks trucks full of NFL cash in a couple of months.

Mac Jones is built different, cut from the identical elite cloth as Smith and Harris although they all took different paths to Tuscaloosa. Jones game-managed LSU to tears Saturday, then happily grabbed a ballcap and cheered on backup Bryce Young to finish off the beatdown that Orgeron talked them into last season. Smith blew enough kisses to open up a booth in Baton Rouge. And Harris? He finished with 145 yards on 21 carries with 3 TDs.

The worst part? Arkansas is next for Alabama and could find itself on the receiving end of a similar offensive clinic next week in Fayetteville. Fortunately for the Razorbacks, their coach hasn’t run his mouth about the Crimson Tide and will surely receive the proper amount of mercy.

Not so for Orgeron and LSU. A lesson was delivered Saturday. Great teams like LSU can talk after they win a title.

Great programs like Alabama don’t need to talk, as they win so convincingly their play does the talking for them.