The whole thing is weird. Uncomfortably weird.

The last thing we need in our college football world is Nick Saban whining about who he has to play.

Or how players are recruited and signed.

Or how his defense deserves rules favoring them, too.

Or how, for the love of all things holy and true, it’s not fair.

Is it fair that Alabama recruits better than anyone in college football — and still used the transfer portal in 2022 to add 5 starters?

Is it fair that Alabama has played Georgia twice in the regular season since the SEC expanded in 2012, but has played Kentucky, Missouri and Vanderbilt a combined 8 times?

Is it fair that the 1 program that has gotten every benefit of the doubt over the years from the BCS “formula” and the Playoff “committee” — contributing to multiple national titles — can complain about a difficult road to the Playoff?

Seriously, people. Who took Nick Saban from us, and what did they do with him?

In a wide-ranging interview with Ross Dellenger of Sports Illustrated, Saban sounded like a coach who was just dropped into the SEC meatgrinder at a midlevel program.

Instead of the guy with the best job in America.

He doesn’t like that Alabama, the best program in college football since 2009, will reportedly get Auburn, LSU and Tennessee as its 3 permanent games in what will likely be the SEC’s new 9-game, 3-6 scheduling format.

“Look historically over a 25-year history, and the 3 best teams in the East are Georgia, Tennessee and Florida,” Saban told Dellenger. “Alabama, LSU and Auburn are the 3 best teams in the West. So we’re playing them all.”

I don’t know how to break this to Nick, but Alabama also isn’t playing Georgia and Florida every year. And if Alabama is playing LSU, Auburn and Tennessee annually — as long as those in the SEC office aren’t intimidated by Saban’s public grandstanding — it’s because those are 3 rivalry games are part of the fabric of the conference and its television strength.

I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but I’m guessing Florida would be more than happy to trade places. Alabama takes Georgia, Oklahoma and South Carolina, and the Gators will take Saban’s Murderer’s Row.

But wait, it doesn’t end there.

Saban says NIL collectives are creating a pay for play environment, and that, “Guys are going to school where they can make the most money.”

And this is different how? Long before NIL was a thing, blue-chip high school players were signing with colleges, in part, because of extra benefits schools could provide.

The schools whose boosters had the deepest pockets were those with the greatest advantage. If you don’t think boosters associated with your team/university didn’t provide extra benefits long before NIL (with or without the knowledge of the head coach), I can’t help you.

Saban knows NIL has leveled the playing field, allowing programs that previously couldn’t recruit in the same zip code as Alabama to gain big wins — no matter their championship pedigree.

Chop Robinson (Maryland), Travis Hunter (Jackson State), Travis Shaw (UNC), Luther Burden (Missouri), Kiyaunta Goodwin (Kentucky), Cormani McClain (Colorado), Suntarine Perkins (Ole Miss).

All 5-star players. All players Alabama recruited — and would’ve had a much greater chance of landing were NIL not in play.

And we can’t have that. Because if Alabama isn’t as talented as it has been in the past, that means all those excuses used for all of those championship breaks maybe don’t hold as much weight.

In 2011, Alabama scored 6 points and lost at home to LSU, yet still made it into the BCS National Championship Game in a rematch against LSU — despite Oklahoma State’s stellar season. The Cowboys’ only loss was in double OT at Iowa State, while playing a day after Oklahoma State women’s basketball coach Kurt Budke and 3 others were killed in a plane crash. Alabama then won the national title.

In 2012, Alabama lost to No. 15 Texas A&M at home, and reached the BCS National Championship Game to play unbeaten Notre Dame because unbeaten Ohio State was serving a bowl ban it should’ve served the previous season with interim coach Luke Fickell. To say nothing of Oregon’s equally impressive 1-loss season. Alabama then won the national title.

In 2017, 1-loss Alabama didn’t win its own division (much less the SEC) and still made the Playoff. Then won the national title.

The narrative coming from Tuscaloosa all 3 of those seasons was that Alabama was the most talented team, plays in the toughest conference, and if Vegas had to make a betting line … well, we all know who’d be the favorite.

Now Saban is complaining about a potential change in the time clock rules, and says if you want to cut time, allow the defense to sub after the offense makes a first down.

“When a team can snap the ball within 7 seconds off the (play) clock, is that really good for player safety?” Saban asked.

Welcome, everyone, to deja vu — or the last time Saban was complaining in 2013 how offense had taken control of college football, and how the new hurry up/no huddle tempo offenses were “bad” for the game and problematic for “player safety.”

A year later, Saban hired Lane Kiffin as his offensive coordinator, and — ta-da! — do as I say, not as I do.

What happened to the Nick Saban of 2007, who compared a loss to Louisiana-Monroe to Pearl Harbor? Or the Nick Saban who said he’ll never get over the Kick-6 loss to Auburn?

I want that guy back on the wall. I need that guy back on the wall.

Now he’s concerned about a 1-off season from a program that hasn’t been relevant in the SEC in nearly 2 decades. And that program’s offense, whose coach out-coached his defensive staff in every way imaginable.

What happened to the Nick Saban of 2005, then the 1st-year coach of the NFL’s Dolphins, who made rookie defensive lineman Manuel Wright cry?

“Young players need to develop the kind of mental toughness and attitude that they need to be professionals,” Saban said on that glorious day, 18 years ago in Davie, Fla.

Sounds about right.

Instead of whining about what’s not fair.