On Wednesday, April 8, 2020, we got some stunning breaking news.

Nick Saban is now using email. I repeat, Nick Saban is now using email.

In case you missed it, here’s how he explained his newfound use of the popular technological tool:

I’ve got some ideas, a’ight.

Clearly this is an unprecedented time for Saban. He’s not able to lose his mind over poorly-thrown balls in spring scrimmages and as he reminded us, he doesn’t even have an excuse to let his wife handle his email account anymore.

(If that email address isn’t through Hotmail or AOL, well, knock me over with a feather.)

Saban can still have his routine. Nobody is telling him to stop watching “The Weather Channel” or to put down the Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies. But what better time than now to try out some of these things that he probably missed the last few decades while he was busy becoming the best coach on the planet.

Need not worry, Nick. I’ve got you covered.

Give these 10 things a shot:

1. YouTube

To borrow a phrase from Michael Scott, “when I discovered YouTube, I didn’t work for 5 days.”

Started in 2005, “YouTube” is a place where you can watch all sorts of videos. You want epic fail compilation videos? No problem. Want to learn how to cook a hardboiled egg? It’s all there. Not into any of that? Go back and watch old games if you want. Go rewatch the 2012 SEC Championship and give yourself a pat on the back for recruiting Amari Cooper.

You know what would be really fun? Just search “Nick Saban angry” and see some old blowups from yourself on the sidelines.

OK, maybe that’s a bad idea. After all, the goal of this is to figure out new things that help you during this quarantine. Don’t search “Nick Saban angry.”

And don’t, under any condition whatsoever, search “baby shark.” Trust me.

2. Apple Watch

Hey, if your players have them, shouldn’t you? Here’s my thinking: The nice thing about the Apple Watch is that it tracks everything.

You want to know how many calories you burned on that walk with Miss Terry? Easy. You want to see what your heart rate was when you found out the recruiting dead period was extended another month? Got it.

The other benefit is it tracks movement. It’ll give you a friendly reminder to get up and walk around if you’ve been watching film for 3 consecutive hours. We always forget that our eyes need a break, too.

You don’t have to get the Apple Watch that makes calls, either. I’m pretty sure there’s a way to un-sync it to text messages so you aren’t constantly getting blown up (that’s how the kids say “getting a bunch of texts”). It’s like a FitBit on steroids. “Quarantine Nick” can be the healthiest version of you.

3. Twitter … kind of

Notice that I didn’t say “start your own verified account” (you get a blue check mark next to your name if you’re a celebrity or if you have a big enough following).

Why not start a burner account? (That’s an account that operates essentially without an identity that exists to troll people. It doesn’t seek retweets, likes or follows.) Nobody in their right mind would have any idea that it’s you. Just create an account that comments on stuff like “why Dabo Swinney is the best coach in America.” Or if you want to blend in a little more, comment on every post from the @SECOfficiating account. On the flip side, you could even mute the words “Saban” or “Alabama” if you want to avoid going down the rabbit hole of reading about yourself.

Above all else, this is the chance to really let that sense of humor out. Tim Brando says something you don’t agree with? See how many tweets at him it’ll take to get blocked.

Oh, and don’t take it personally if and when you get blocked by Ben Roethlisberger. He does it to everyone.

If you want, you could still make a personal account and just treat it like a burner account. That’s essentially what Lane Kiffin does.

Does Twitter do more harm than good? Probably. I bet you’ve given that speech a million times. But think about it. What better time to start a burner account than right now? You need sources of entertainment to pass the time, and it’s not like it’s during the season or even during spring practice when fans are criticizing you.

Fire up the burner account and see how many times a day you cackle.

4. TikTok

What’s TikTok, you ask? It’s an app where kids post videos of themselves dancing in hopes it’ll go viral. Most of it is just coordinated dances to songs that were popular 10 years ago.

Rewatch this and tell me you weren’t built for TikTok, Nick:

Viral. Sensation.

5. Tailgating

I’m gonna make a bold prediction here. Every time you’ve gone to a football game in your adult life, you’ve been there for some sort of a purpose. Whether that was coaching, recruiting or watching one of your coaching friends/former players, you haven’t been able to experience the bliss that is sitting by your car, eating grilled meats and drinking the adult beverage of your choice (which I assume is Coke and/or a bottle of Dasani).

It’s something that we as Americans hold in high regard. College football tailgates are holidays, and should be treated as such.

But no, you don’t need a game to tailgate. Just sit on your driveway in a lawn chair for all I care. Listen to some music and get yourself mentally ready for whatever activity you’re tailgating. If that means playing some 1-on-1 lawn darts with Miss Terry or simply letting your cares drift away, find your tailgate sweet spot. The only wrong way to tailgate is simply not doing it.

(Just kidding. There are a lot of wrong ways to tailgate. If your speakers are blown out, I don’t want to hear whatever is coming out of them. If the last available food item involves something from the veggie tray, you’ve gone horribly, horribly wrong. And don’t be the person who takes “flip cup” way too seriously. Nobody likes that person.)

6. Facebook

Just kidding. If you’re going to enter that world, Instagram is where you want to be.

And hey, someone figured out a way to set up Instagram Live with Maria Taylor, which was where we found out about your new email usage. Full circle!

7. Roast veggies now, judge me later

Don’t knock it until you try it.

Sheet-pan roasted veggies are all the rage these days. They taste a billion times better than those steamed lima beans from a can that you’ve probably been eating since the 1950s. A little olive oil, some salt and pepper, and I promise you’ll never look at broccoli the same way. If you really want to go for it, sprinkle a little parmesan cheese on top after you take them out of the oven.

Can you imagine the look on Miss Terry’s face if she walked into the kitchen and saw you chopping up some asparagus and cauliflower to make some roasted veggies? That, my friend, is how you earn some brownie points.

8. Amazon Prime

As most Americans found out over the course of the last 15 years, Amazon Prime is a far-too-easy way to buy things on the internet. So many things. By the time you get that knock on the door a few days later, you forgot what you bought. It’s like Christmas every day.

Got everything you need already? That’s fine.

There’s also original TV programming that comes with Amazon Prime. I’ve heard good things about the Nazi-hunting show “Hunters,” starring Al Pacino. That’s right. Even Al Pacino is starring in shows on streaming services these days. What a time to be alive. If you really need confirmation of how much the streaming service industry boomed with original programming, go on Netflix and spend 3 days watching “The Irishman” with Pacino, Robert De Niro AND Joe Pesci.

My other streaming suggestion? If you’re searching Netflix, maybe avoid “Tiger King.” I’m assuming that between your showdowns with LSU, Auburn and Clemson, you probably get your tiger fix in a different, healthier way than Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin do.

9. Felix Gray glasses

Since your LASIK surgery in 2012, I know you don’t have glasses like those Michigan State specs that you wore back in the day. What I also know is that now that you’re doing emails and opening yourself up to a world of screens, you’re going to want a pair of Felix Gray glasses.

Why? These aren’t normal glasses. Besides being a bit more modern than your old Michigan State glasses, they filter out Blue Light and prevent digital eye strain. Stuck in front of the computer all day dealing with emails, Zoom calls and game tape? You won’t get that awful headache, and your eyes will be better for it.

I used to get those headaches all the time at the end of a long work day. Since I got a pair of Felix Gray glasses a few months ago, I have yet to get even a hint of digital eye strain.

Trust me. They’ll change your life.

10. Ripped jeans

I know what you’re thinking, Nick. You don’t understand ripped jeans. Remember when you said this about the fashion trend a couple years ago?

“Not to offend anybody out there, but I just walked by some jeans. Wore-out jeans, holes in them, all cut up. I just remember when I was a kid in West Virginia, I was ashamed to go to school because my jeans were wore out, only because we didn’t have any better. Now they buy them that way. I just… how did we get here? I don’t know.”

Here’s the thing, Nick. You don’t have to go to school in these. Even better, you don’t even have to go to work in them. Just give the ripped jeans a shot while you’re walking around the house. You’ll catch yourself in front of a mirror and either think “I found my new look” or “what in the world am I doing?”

Don’t hide it. You’re curious. I’m curious. Lane Kiffin is definitely curious.

Then again, Lane already gave us a sneak peak:

There’s no better time for some self-discovery than now, Nick. Show up to your first post-quarantine press conference rocking some ripped jeans and we, the public, will never call you “boring” again. You have my word.

Don’t know where to find them? Don’t worry. I’ll email you some links.