10 alcoholic drinks you need to know as an Arkansas fan in 2017
Most Razorbacks fans would describe the 2017 season as a living hell.
Arkansas was crushed at home by TCU and Auburn, choked against Texas A&M again and almost lost to Coastal Carolina, leaving fans wondering where the football program is heading. They need something to take their mind off of the remainder of the season — alcohol.
Most of these drinks are high in alcohol content. Considering Arkansas fans need something strong to numb the pain, I thought it was just. In Bret Bielema’s fifth season, they expected and deserved more.
Here are the 10 alcoholic drinks you need to know as an Arkansas fan in 2017.
DISCLAIMER: This article applies if you are 21 and older.
10. Caribou Lou
Ingredients — 151-proof rum, pineapple juice, coconut rum
This will have fans thinking of the joys summer brings, rather than the troublesome times ahead. Arkansas is going to be a underdog versus the rest of its opponents in 2017. In addition, it is highly unlikely that the Razorbacks will qualify for a bowl game if they continue to give up 36 points per game.
At least there will be tasty rum drinks to indulge in. “Jack Sparrow” is envious.
9. Colorado Bulldog
Ingredients — Vodka, coffee-flavored liqueur, milk, soda and chocolate sauce
This might be one of the best unknown alcoholic drinks. This is the adult version of a milkshake. It tastes similar to the dessert, but too many of these will make drinkers wind up like the bulldog below.
The Arkansas offensive line has been notorious for falling asleep on the job. Giving up 3.11 sacks per game is a perfect example.
8. Roman Coke
Ingredients — Rum and Coke
It’s actually pronounced rum and Coke, but most just refer to it as a roman Coke. This drink is one of the most popular ordered at bars on a daily basis. Not to mention it’s $3 all the time at Yeehawg, a local bar in Fayetteville.
Drink a couple of those and ride the mechanical bull inside. After the experience, you’ll discover how Austin Allen and Cole Kelley feel getting sacked and hit all the time.
7. Bag of Wine
Ingredients — Wine
Even if you plan on traveling to Louisiana for Saturday’s game at LSU, bags fly free on Southwest Airlines. Throw one in the suitcase for the trip. It would be easy to find a big wine glass in like Amy Schumer did. Just hope the bag will travel well — unlike Arkansas, which is 1-3 in road/neutral site games this season.
6. Beer Towers
Ingredients — Beer
Most living in Northwest Arkansas know about JJ’s Grill and Grub’s Bar and Grille. There, you could find coolers filled to the rim with ice-cold beer. Razorbacks fans each need an individual tower for themselves. Watching opponents convert 46.15 percent of the time on third down takes a toll.
5. Jungle Juice
Ingredients — Sliced fruit, Hawaiian Punch, Everclear grain alcohol, vodka, lemonade
There are many ways to make this delectable drink and, like pizza, it’s hard to screw up. Be careful because one or two cups sneaks up on you real quick. It packs quite a punch, unlike the Arkansas defense, which has only five sacks in conference play.
4. Long Island Iced Tea
Ingredients — Gin, vodka, tequila, rum, triple sec, and ice tea
Arkansans love sweet tea and alcohol. Combining them is a foolproof way to enjoy a cold beverage. If only Arkansas could put together a full game on both sides of the football. It would draw more attention than the yummy cocktail.
3. Apple Pie Moonshine
Ingredients — Moonshine and Grandma’s apple pie
You can find it at liquor stores are various other places — like from mountain men in the Ozarks. It’s strong but bursting with flavor. Arkansas has been anything but strong in 2017.
Ingredients — Vodka, gin, rum, Blue Curacao and lemon line soda
Think about what the abbreviation stands for. Figured it out? This drink will have you forgetting the ending of Arkansas games. It also might be a good idea to forget about the possibility that Arkansas is regressing under Bielema.
1. Fireball out of the Bottle
Ingredients — Fireball
LSU fans are known for corn dogs and Arkansas fanatics are recognized for their Fireball fandom. There were actually bottles of Fireball left on the field when the Razorbacks beat the Tigers in 2014 and fans stormed the field. They needed something to keep them warm that night and, with winter rolling around, it’s time to go grab a couple of more bottles.