Ah, Thanksgiving. That special time for family, love and Auburn fans being eternally thankful that they’re not Alabama fans …

Alabama grads? That’s funny. Alabama fans aren’t even Alabama grads. That’s just one of the 20 reasons we hate Alabama.

1. The 85%: As in the running joke that 85 percent of Alabama’s fans never went to school there. It must be nice to have extra money to pay Nick Saban since you don’t have to spend it on student loans from going there …

2. Entitlement: The state of Alabama is ranked almost last in education, obesity and education. However, Bama fans act like they come from royalty just because they wear Houndstooth every Saturday.

3. Paul Finebaum: Bama fans almost single-handily made him famous with their daily audio outbursts and irrational reactions. He’s like the Jerry Springer for College Football. And Bammers made him so famous that he even got his own TV show even though he looks like a pencil.

4. Grammar: It’s frustrating having some keyboard warrior from T-Town tell me how bad my team is when they don’t know how to use “their/there/they’re” correctly. Roll Tied.

5. Lack of Appreciation: This goes with the entitlement deal. You guys don’t appreciate how good you have it. You’ve won 4 titles in 8 years, and all you can talk about is why you should’ve won last year.

6. Bear Bryant: Bryant called Auburn a cow college, wrestled a Bear for $5, and is somehow considered a hero for his “tough” coaching style in Junction, Texas while at Texas A&M. Hey, Bammers, stop celebrating fighting docile circus animals for one, and two, stop celebrating heat exhaustion and a conference championship that Bear won while not at Bama.

7. Legion Field: The Iron Bowl was played at the same stadium that Bama used for their biggest home games for over 40 years.

8. Inconvenient Truths: Bammers brag about how they’ve “owned” this series, and how much better they’ve been traditionally.  Yes, they do have a 10-game lead in the overall series. However, Auburn leads the series in the past 15 years (8-7), 31 years, (16-15), and owns a 26-19 record against Bama teams not coached by anyone named Bryant or Saban.

9. Football Fans Only: Perfect example of a fan who never attended the university? They only care about one sport. In the past decade alone Bama has won national championships in softball, golf and gymnastics. Guaranteed most Bama fans don’t know that because it wasn’t on a football field.

10. 2011: Bama didn’t even win its own division in 2011, but it still got into the BCS national championship. Auburn went undefeated in the SEC in 2004, and we were left out.

11. Nick Saban: He’s great and all, and Auburn fans absolutely respect what he’s done. But it’s crazy how 10 years of success will make Bama fans forget the previous 10 years of Mike Shula, Dennis Franchione, Mike DuBose, and everyone’s favorite, Mike Price.

12. Fake National Titles: Bama claims 16 national titles. Even if they trimmed a few from their overzealous pre-WWII claims they would still be have the most in the country. Nope. They still have to be insufferable enough to claim 1941 (2 losses), 4 more in the 20s and 30s, AND had the audacity to claim one in 1973 despite finishing No. 4 in the AP after losing the Sugar Bowl to Notre Dame, which was awarded the consensus national title.

13. Harvey Updyke: Get a life. Get a hobby. Enough said.

14. Rammer Jammer: Yes, Alabama is nicknamed the Yellow Hammer state. However, just because you (kinda) found something that rhymes with that doesn’t mean you should make a song out of it. It sounds ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as your fans singing “We just beat the hell out of you! Rammer Jammer! Yellow Hammer! Give ’em Hell Alabama!” after a close win. What are you even talking about?

15. Benefit of the Doubt: This goes along with the whole 2011 ordeal. Nobody in the country gets more unfair praise and media help than Alabama. Don’t believe me?

16. NFL Busts: Bama obviously is doing something sketchy to win 7 consecutive recruiting national titles. However, what’s even more sketchy is how many of their players turn into total busts. Trent Richardson, Rolando McClain, Mt. Cody, Dee Milliner, etc. And those are just from the past decade.

17. AJ McCarron: No matter how mad you will ever be about the Kick-Six, it will never be as upsetting as having to see that cry-baby game manager win games with a below average arm and the worst tattoo in the history of the world.

18. Arrogance: This isn’t even about Bama fans. It’s just the program as a whole. Oh the Iron Bowl doesn’t matter as much as your rivalry with Tennessee? Then why does the Kick-Six still hurt? Even the coaches recruit the state like arrogant (pick your expletive). Who can forget that Bama assistant coach Ken Donahue’s recruiting pitch was that Bo wouldn’t play til his junior year and that “Auburn hadn’t beat Bama in 10 years and would never beat them again.” Bo went over the top the next year.

19. Family: When you go to Auburn, you are a part of something bigger than yourself, and it’s something you feel. It matters. It’s interwoven into our DNA and becomes a sense of pride and protection that goes well beyond the football field. Bama fans can’t even agree on whether or not to play “Dixieland Delight” during their home games.

20. Fear: Alabama fans like to think that Auburn fears Alabama. We don’t. Because we know even if we lose to Bama the sun will rise the next day. Alabama fears Auburn much more. That’s why their message boards are so cluttered with constant upkeep on Auburn news, Auburn slander, and fear that losing to Auburn means you lost the only thing that matters in your life.

War Eagle.