20 reasons it's better to be an Auburn fan than an Alabama fan
It’s finally time for the Iron Bowl, the time of year when the state of Alabama splits in two and the rest of the world tunes in ready to watch the chaos. This year there’s plenty of reason to expect the unexpected. Bama’s Mac Jones will be making the biggest start of his life with a possible Playoff spot on the line, and if you know Gus Malzahn, you know he has something up his sleeveless sweater vest to spring on the Bama defense.
But who should you root for if you’re an impartial observer? We made it easy for you with this list of 20 reasons it’s better to be an Auburn fan than an Alabama fan. Don’t worry Bama fans, your list is coming soon.
1. Two words: Kick-6
2. Three Words: Punt Bama Punt
3. Four words: Alabama leading by 24
4. Bryant-Denny never gets as loud as Jordan-Hare
The only scary thing about Bryant-Denny is trying to figure out how fast you can leave Tuscaloosa once the game’s over.
5. Your campus is way more beautiful
Auburn has gorgeous trees and a beautiful little southern town surrounding it. Alabama has … a Bojangles.
6. One day, Nick Saban will retire
We’ll see who’s feeling confident then.
7. You don’t have to sing along to Lynyrd Skynyrd every home game
Auburn fans would never.
8. You’ve never made up national championships
Only the University of Alabama would feel insecure enough to do that.
9. You don’t have to have one of the greatest coaches of all time to win a national championship
Actually, winning a championship with Gene Chizik and going undefeated with Tommy Tuberville is way more impressive than anything an Alabama team has ever done.
10. Your university has never employed Lane Kiffin
Auburn has made its fair share of questionable hires … but at least you never stooped that low.
11. You don’t start to hyperventilate every time you see your field-goal kicker
Only Bama fans know truly know this pain.
12. You don’t have to get to know an entirely new staff of assistant coaches every year
Apparently some assistant coaches actually like living in Auburn and don’t just use your university as a stepping stone. Huh.
13. You don’t have to pretend that your elephant mascot is cool
We all know Aubie would kick the crap out of Big Al.
14. You don’t see your fellow classmates when you watch an episode of COPS
Most Bama grads can’t get an Internet connection, so it’s their only way of keeping in touch with their friends.
15. Your coach is a way better actor than this
16. You have the best defensive line college football
That’s not even up for debate. Mac Jones isn’t laughing.
17. No Bama player will ever be better than Bo Jackson
To be fair, it’s hard to be better than the best athlete in college football history.
18. The entire college football world is rooting for you
There’s nothing better than the joy of watching Alabama lose. You’ve got everyone on your side this week, Auburn.
19. You made it to the Final Four
Meanwhile Alabama’s basketball team just lost to Penn and Rhode Island.
20. Alabama is clearly jealous of all your traditions
War Eagle, Toomer’s Corner, the Tiger Walk … Bama fans would never tell you but they wish they had anything that could compare.