The Georgia Bulldogs have the Vanderbilt Commodores coming up at noon this Saturday in Nashville, and that calls for some Vandy observations by Lewis Grizzard, both real and projected.

Unlike Clemson weeks ago, there are not a lot of Lewis comments to be found about Vandy. We’ll go with what we have and guess at what he might say since he left us to move far North in 1994.

About Spain’s military record in recent years, Lewis commented:

“Spain!? Spain couldn’t beat Vanderbilt for God’s sake!”

And this:

“The only thing uglier than a bowling shoe is Gloria Vanderbilt.” 

Youthful Gloria was a beauty. By the time she was selling her line of tight-fitting denim apparel, not so much. Hoity-toity Glo’s great-great-grandfather was Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt, after whom the hoity-toity university is named.

To paraphrase a Grizzard quote about many schools:

“You know what they say when Vanderbilt cheerleaders take the field?”

“How ’bout them dogs!”

Lewis said, “Clemson is nothing more than Auburn, but with a lake.”

Perhaps he might say, “Vanderbilt is nothing more than Auburn aka Abuurn, but where most students know how to spell the name of the school where they are enrolled.”

Vandy twice canceled 2020 games vs Georgia, the December cancellation denying UGA seniors to celebrate Senior Day and their last home game at Sanford Stadium when no other opponent could be scheduled.  

Vandy canceling the games also nixed an opportunity for the 2020 senior class to break the record for most wins by any class at Georgia. 

It also denied UGA fans the chance to see short-lived Vanderbilt female kicker Sarah Fuller.

Lewis might say:

“Some called having Sarah Fuller on the Vandy team a gimmick. I kinda like it. I am all in favor of women trying anything a man can do. I just don’t think women should be allowed to vote or drive.”

Vandy trails the series vs Georgia, 20-58–2. That is considerably better than Spain’s military record in the modern era, except maybe against a world military power like Liechtenstein, which has no military.

Lewis might say, “Spain’s military might fare better had their only known warrior Frank Ros, my friend and captain of the 1980 Georgia National Champions, not defected for Athens. Georgia, not Greece.”

“Al ejército español le iría mejor si su único guerrero conocido, Frank Ros, mi amigo y capitán de los Campeones Nacionales de Georgia de 1980, no hubiera desertado por Atenas. Georgia, no Grecia.”

“I used some newfangled contrivance called a translation website to impress Frank with my fluency in Español. Frank, if that translated into something offensive please do not squash me like a grape when you get up here to Heaven.”

“I look forward to Damn Good Dawg Frank’s arrival up here. But Frank, please take your time.”

Rumor has it the Commodores of Lionel Richie fame might play in Nashville on Saturday. That’s good, because the Vandy footballers are going to run into a brick house upon kickoff.

Lewis did not predict game outcomes that I can recall. He left that up to his friend Leonard Postero aka Leonard Postosties of Leonard’s Losers.

Lewis again: “Since Leonard is up here with me, he said for me to take a shot at predicting Saturday’s game. But Leonard asked me to channel Leonard in my prediction. Here goes nothing.

“The ‘Dores of Nashville might want to dress out Gloria Vanderbilt in tight-fitting denim jeans and have her try place-kicking in ugly bowling shoes to distract the Classic City Canines. Spoiling the 2020 record-breaking chance for Kirby Smart’s Pack of Drool Dog seniors was something they are likely to regret.”

Lewis’s and Leonard’s Loser? Vanderbilt.