So 2020: Mike Leach delivers hilarious rant about cardboard fans in prime seats at LSU game
Some things about college football in 2020 — like cardboard cutout fans in the stands — are not exactly what we are used to seeing.
Other things, however, are exactly as they should be. Like Mike Leach rants in press conferences.
When these 2 things are combined, it can make for some highly entertaining media availability sessions in Starkville, Mississippi.
Leach’s latest monologue stemmed from questions about the environment in Tiger Stadium during Mississippi State’s upset win over LSU, and turned into a rant about the cardboard cutouts that have occupied seats across all sports venues in 2020.
“I have to be honest, I haven’t quite gotten the hang of the cutout people in the stands. That’s an episode of Twilight Zone. Some of you guys are probably all too young for Twilight Zone, but I mean the black and white Twilight Zone where Rod Serling would get on there with the creepy voice and the suit, and then all the sudden is this real, is it outer space?” Leach said.
“It was almost like haunted houses met science fiction, that show. And then now all of a sudden we have these people frozen in time sitting there in the stadium with enthusiastic expressions on their face but they can’t move, and then yet the noise.”
“I don’t know, if it’s cool and people enjoy it, great, but that is a little surreal, the fake people in the stands” Leach continued. “And I don’t even know how they decide the seating. Do the fake people have a lottery of where they sit? Because I know this, some of those fake people have way better seats than the other ones. I want to be one of those fake people on the 50-yard line, about row 12. But you know, some of them are still up in the rafters, you know? So I mean in this world, in this day and age, in these funny times, even a fake person can get screwed, you know?
“Live clean, live smart and maybe when you become a fake person you can get good seats at the LSU game.”
The press conference wrapped up after Leach’s rant, but he did throw in one more quip as he said goodbye to media, referring to the bottle of Coke on his podium.
“Drink more Coke. One day we’ll be drinking fake Coke, so let’s enjoy this while we can.”
If Mississippi State deploys cardboard cutouts at Davis Wade Stadium for the Bulldogs’ home opener against Arkansas on Saturday, Leach may have to have a hand in making sure there is a fair process of determining where they sit.
Never change, Coach Leach.