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Actors best to play each SEC coach in a movie

Stan Chrapowicki

By Stan Chrapowicki

Published:

With the news last week that Les Miles will play a cop in a movie called “Camera Obscura,” we at SDS wanted to flip the script so to speak. In other words, we’ve come up with a list of the best actors to play each current SEC football coach in a movie, and without further ado, here is that group, listed by coach’s name in alphabetical order:

Bret Bielema

Rob Riggle has two things working for him — an extensive filmography and a resemblance to the Arkansas head coach. He also has a football connection — he handles the comedy-skit and prognostication segments on Fox NFL Sunday.

Hugh Freeze

Lochlyn Munro isn’t a household name, but he might be a household face. Credited with more than 200 TV and movie roles, Munro is suited to play Ole Miss’ head coach, and is someone your wife/girlfriend has more than likely seen on Lifetime Movie Network.

Butch Jones

Brock Lesnar technically isn’t an actor, but his pro wrestling experience — and a dye job — would certainly help him play Tennessee’s head coach on the little or big screen. The 6-3, 281-pounder was cut by the Minnesota Vikings after trying out for them in 2004.

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Gus Malzahn

Our initial call was to go with Gary Cole, who was Lundbergh in “Office Space,” but he looks more like former Florida head coach Ron Zook. So we’ve decided to go younger with Justin Timberlake, who played a baseball scout in the 2012 release “Trouble With the Curve.”

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Derek Mason

The Vanderbilt head coach, one of the best defensive coordinators in the SEC, should be played by one of today’s best actors. Idris Elba, who played Beyonce’s husband in the 2009 flick “Obsessed,” gets the call here.

Jim McElwain

The Florida head coach’s doppelganger isn’t really an actor, but he has appeared on TV. Jim Bob Duggar, the patriarch of the family that appeared on “19 Kids and Counting,” looks an awful lot like McElwain.

Les Miles

The Mad Hatter is the SEC’s man of mystery, whom we think could be handled with aplomb by Kurt Russell. No stranger to sports movies, Goldie Hawn’s other half did a fine job in 2004 portraying late U.S. Olympic hockey coach Herb Brooks in “Miracle.”

Dan Mullen

I don’t know about you, but every time I see Mississippi State’s head coach, I think of Randy Quaid. Dennis Quaid’s older brother has made his fair share of sports-themed films, including “Kingpin,” “Days of Thunder” and “Major League II.”

Will Muschamp

South Carolina’s new head coach reminds me of Lionel Messi, but last we checked, the international soccer star had yet to embark on an acting career. So let’s go with Christian Bale, and we’ll encourage the Welshman and 2011 Best Supporting Actor winner for his performance in “The Fighter” to come to Columbia and put on some weight via barbecue.

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Barry Odom

If you put some pounds on him, Woody Harrelson could play Missouri’s new head coach on the big screen. Harrelson got to show off his basketball skills in the 1992 flick “White Men Can’t Jump.”

Nick Saban

Saban played himself in The Blind Side — “Well we appreciate the quality.
And recognize it when we see it,” he said while admiring the Tuohy’s house and adopted son, Michael Oher.

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Billy Bob Thornton  probably would need a little hair dye — and a little more hair for that matter — but we still nominate Angelina Jolie’s ex-husband for the role of Alabama’s head football coach. Thornton played coach Gary Gaines in the 2004 movie “Friday Night Lights.”

Kirby Smart

For lack of a living actor, we chose to go with the late Dennis Hopper to play Georgia’s new head coach. Who could forget his performance as Shooter in the 1986 basketball classic “Hoosiers”?

Mark Stoops

He’s been out of the limelight lately, but we think D.B. Sweeney should be the guy for the role of Kentucky’s head coach. You might remember him as Shoeless Joe Jackson in the 1988 classic “Eight Men Out.”

Kevin Sumlin

It’s a shame that comedian/actor Bernie Mac is no longer with us, for he would be the perfect guy to play Texas A&M’s head coach in a movie. Mac, the star of 2004 baseball release “Mr. 3000,” died at the age of 50 from complications of pneumonia in 2008.

Stan Chrapowicki

Stan Chrapowicki is a contributing writer for Saturday Down South. He covers SEC football, Alabama and Auburn.

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