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Not recommended for anyone who needs to function properly on Tuesday morning…
AMATEUR HOUR
Take a sip every time Deshaun Watson accounts for a first down
Here’s one to prime your liver. Clemson quarterback Deshaun Watson is just the third quarterback in college football history with more than 3,500 yards passing and 1,000 rushing in a single season. As a result, Clemson is fifth in the nation in first downs (157 rushing, 177 pass). That’s roughly 25 first downs a game. Get ready to start sipping.
Take a drink every time the Alabama defense registers a sack
The Alabama defensive front is one of the staunchest in the Nick Saban era, leading the nation with a paltry 70.8 YPG and 50 sacks. Every time the Tide takes down Clemson quarterback Deshaun Watson, you should take down your drink.
GETTING LOOSE
Take a drink every time the Heisman Award in mentioned
Alabama’s Derrick Henry edged Clemson quarterback Deshaun Watson for the Heisman Trophy award. Hoist your cocktail every time the running back is mentioned for winning the coveted trophy, and twice if Watson is mentioned and the word “snub” is used.
Take a drink every time Saban and his future in Tuscaloosa is mentioned
Plenty has been made of late about Nick Saban eschewing Alabama after nine seasons for a return shot at coaching in the NFL. Take a drink every time Saban’s departure is mentioned and double if one of the franchises mentioned as a potential destination is your favorite team. Then again, if your favorite team is already in need of a new coach, you’re probably already drinking heavily.
GETTING CARRIED AWAY
Take a drink every time someone dabs
For some head-scratching reason, it’s become trendy for head coaches to dance after big wins — in particular, the “Dab.” Don’t expect too much dabbing from Alabama’s Nick Saban nor Clemson Dabo Swinney — despite the fact that “dab” is already in his name — but you never know who is going to bust it out. Drink every time someone dabs and before long, your own dancing will improve.
Not only does Nick Saban smile…he dances too! pic.twitter.com/Ewm0wwPtHe
— Justin King (@JustinKing) January 1, 2016
Take a drink every time Dabo Swinney’s Alabama past is mentioned
Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney is very familiar with the Capstone, having played wide receiver for Alabama and breaking into the coaching ranks as a graduate assistant and wide receivers/tight ends coach for the Tide. Some say the Alabama native is the heir apparent to Nick Saban. When they say it on Monday night, take a drink.
BLOTTO TOWN
Take a trip to the refrigerator and eat something every time William “Refrigerator” Perry’s name is mentioned
You’ll hear plenty about former alumni from both programs in the College Football Playoff National Championship, but none are bigger (literally) than former the former Clemson defensive lineman. Every time the “Fridge” is mentioned, you should go eat something…you’ve had a lot to drink at this point.
DESERT COCKTAIL
Finish your drink the first time after the game when someone posts on Facebook about the losing school sending its championship T-shirts to villagers in some third-world country
You know it’s coming.
Chris Wuensch is a contributing writer for Saturday Down South. He covers South Carolina and Tennessee.
