We all think we’d make great headline writers, but it’s actually more difficult than it looks.
Coming up with something short, simple and witty that can tell the story of an entire football game in just a fraction of a sentence is a unique skill.
This season, we’re going to have some fun trying to predict the headlines you’ll read about your favorite team in your local paper on Sunday morning.
We’re at a disadvantage, of course, because we don’t know how the game will turn out. That’s the part of the prediction that makes things interesting.
Here are our headline predictions for Week 9:
Arkansas (vs. UT-Martin): Hogs back to even
After finishing September with a 1-3 record and knowing the bulk of the SEC schedule was yet to come, getting back to .500 seemed like a pipe dream for many Razorbacks fans. Arkansas will be 4-4 after beating UT-Martin on Saturday, which will put them back in position to win as many as eight games this regular season if they get hot in November like they did last season.
Auburn (vs. Ole Miss): Tigers leave Gus grumpy
Gus Malzahn celebrated his 50th birthday this week, so pardon him if he becomes a cranky old man if the Tigers drop another conference game at home this weekend. With a trip to Texas A&M and games against Georgia and Alabama still on the schedule, he’ll have reason to be upset if the Tigers drop to 4-4 this weekend.
Florida (vs. Georgia): Gators can taste East title
Thanks to Vanderbilt beating Missouri last week, a win for Florida in this game technically does not clinch the SEC East. Still yet, it is a major step in that direction, with only the formality of another Vanderbilt loss standing between the Gators and a trip to Atlanta.
Georgia (vs. Florida): Rocky road ahead for Richt
If Georgia loses this game with the rival Gators, the whispers about Mark Richt not being able to get things done when it matters most. A loss here more or less eliminates the Bulldogs for SEC East contention and become the third loss in the last four games. Needless to say, this is a game that Georgia needs to win.
Kentucky (vs. Tennessee): Dobbs downs Cats
Mississippi State QB Dak Prescott’s dominance of the Wildcats is fresh on the mind of Kentucky fans. They may see more of the same from Vols QB Joshua Dobbs, who accounted for 345 yards of offense and four touchdowns in last season’s matchup.
Ole Miss (at Auburn): Alabama State Champs
After going to Tuscaloosa to beat Alabama back in September, Ole Miss is healthy enough to make the trip to Auburn and do the same to the Tigers. The Rebels’ SEC West championship hopes depend on it.
South Carolina (at Texas A&M): Cocks lose in Lone Star State
Interim coach Shawn Elliott has had two weeks to prepare for this one, so expect to see some changes in scheme and a solid effort, but the Gamecocks just don’t have the horses to take this show on the road and win at Kyle Field.
Tennessee (at Kentucky): Vols tame Cats in Lexington
For all of the turmoil the Tennessee program has been through in the last decade, the Vols have remained pretty consistent in their dominance of the series with Kentucky. Aside from a 2011 embarrassment, the Vols have simply made it a rule that they don’t lose this game. Butch Jones better hold to that this season if he wants to keep critics off his back.
Texas A&M (vs. South Carolina): Home Sweet Home
Texas A&M made its first trip outside the state of Texas in Week 8, and it didn’t go so well with a 23-3 loss at Ole Miss. The Aggies return to the friendly confines of Kyle Field this week, and should see better results against South Carolina.
Vanderbilt (at Houston): Houston, we have a problem
OK, so that one was low-hanging fruit, and it works whether the Commodores win or lose. Unfortunately for Vanderbilt fans, I think it will be the Commodores that have the problem trying to score enough to keep up with a Houston offense that ranks among the nation’s elite.
Nick Cole is a former print journalist with several years of experience covering the SEC. Born and raised in SEC country, he has taken in the game-day experience at all 14 stadiums.
