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What a difference a week makes. Every single one counts in college football and much can be lost with one simplistic defeat. Don’t believe me? Ask the fans of Virginia Tech, that other USC out West and Georgia. You lose a game you shouldn’t, like The Hokies and Trojans, or a tough one in conference, like The Bulldogs, and you have daunting uphill battle staring you in the eyes. You know I’ve got Georgia on my mind, and I’m going to jump right into them in this week’s Shocks, Shanks, Chafes and Predictions.
Biggest Shock: UG-Ahhhhhhhhhh. Two weeks ago everyone and their brother Kirk Herbstreit were telling us this Georgia team was a legit CFB Playoff contender. Meanwhile 165 miles East, Steve Spurrier had been taken to the desert, buried up to his neck and left for vultures to devour. Lesson learned: don’t count out Spurrier’s loyal disdain for The Dawgs. Catching Vince Dooley for 2nd place all-time SEC wins leader was on the line, and Spurrier fittingly matched him by besting Dooley’s former team 38-35 in thrilling fashion.
A lot shocked me about this game overall, including the way South Carolina sprinted out despite limping in and the offensive offensive play call by Georgia 1st and goal when you have Todd Gurley in the backfield. It also had the most intense 1st down measuring moment I’ve ever seen that I’m certain was more exhilarating than any slice of the movie Draft Day.
However nothing shocked me more than my own general idiocy in taking Georgia to cover on the road against Spurrier. I’ve seen this happen with Coach Helen Hunt and his high profile Dawgs teams before, but I fell for the banana in the tailpipe again. Sometimes the talking heads and Vegas rope me in so delicately and I simply cannot escape.
But buck-up, Bulldogs. The last two times USC bested The Dawgs UGA won the SEC East. It’s a long season. But I’m sure you already know all too well about long seasons.
Biggest Shank: I’ve got three, the first of which doesn’t let me leave Columbia. Marshall Morgan’s just a regular guy and doesn’t know why all the fuss about him. All he did was set an SEC record by booting his 20th straight FG earlier in the game, but shanked two and left the Dawg Nation yelling, “Daggum kickers!”
Next we move to Gainesville and start with the zebras. I know they don’t always get it right, their job is hard and we see things better on TV. So add more refs to make their job easier, enhance their technology to better means than what I have at home, and as such, increase the probability that they DO get it right with more frequency. The no-call on Regie Meant’s late hit helmet-to-helmet play on Kelvin Taylor was deplorable. The no-call on The Gators failing to get the snap off on 4th down in the first OT is unacceptable.
And speaking of unacceptable, let’s wrap this up with my continued contempt for Jeff Driskel. Jesse Palmer made it clear on several occasions that now is the time for this 4th year all world high school recruit to step up, and he never did. Sure he had close to 300 yards passing, but if it weren’t for YAC he probably would have only had 130. He owes Demarcus Robinson a hug, a handshake and a high-five.
Driskel’s poor decision-making and inability to throw the ball more than 15 yards downfield almost cost Florida on Saturday night. It will and then some next week in Tuscaloosa, or as I like to call it, our nation’s Wal-Mart. It’s time to cut their losses and give that kid a clipboard.
Biggest Chafe: Does anybody know if Dylan Thompson and Nick Jones possibly knew each other before going to South Carolina? Did they maybe have a special connection to one another at some point in their lives? Or did Verne Lundquist remind you 3,835 times on Saturday, thus leaving it branded in your cerebral cortex as a new, unimportant fact pushing out something old and maybe important like simple long division?
His gusto for the story was unsettling. I could practically hear the saliva dripping from the corners of his mouth every time the two hooked up, like a famished dog staring down a T-bone. There was nothing Gary Danielson could do to stop him, so he just sat back and let him gnaw on that story and I died a little inside each time he did so.
My Lousy Predictions: I was 5-6 ATS this past week, missing a push on two by a mere point for LSU and A&M. I took a lot of heat for predicting a Vandy loss to UMass, but while the ‘Dores came back to win I still covered. For a gambler that’s all that matters. I’m 9-11 after two weeks of this jive. Let’s see how close I come to .500 this week:
#5 Auburn (-7.5) @ #20 Kansas State: A nifty little tilt for a Thursday night. I cannot wait to hear the “Roll Snyd” chants from the Manhattan crowd for Bill Snyder – a man that almost made my shock list for only being 74 when I clearly thought he was like 89. My Prediction:War Eagle, 48, K-State 28
Troy @ #13 Georgia (-36): The Trojans are 0-3 following a loss to Abilene Christian in week three. If you know their mascot without the aid of Google I applaud you. Georgia takes out some frustration this week. My Prediction: Dawgs 66, Troy 13
#6 A&M (-28) @ SMU: The Aggies have the #4 scoring offense in the country. The Mustangs are hot on their trail at #128 and have no June Jones anymore. They might as well have June Squibb on the sidelines this week because it really makes no difference. My Prediction: A&M 59, SMU 3
Florida @ Alabama (-16.5): It appears for now like Blake Sims is the man at the helm of the ‘Bama offense. Nick Saban says he’s still not ready to name a starter. I sure do wish Will Muschamp were as fickle on his QB decision. Regardless of what happens (Florida’s going to lose) Alabama’s biggest fans are Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Harvey Updyke. And that makes me giggle. My Prediction: Rhotyde 35, Gators 10
Indiana @ Missouri (-14): Indiana was one of another SIX B1G schools to lose OOC again this week falling to yet another MAC opponent in Bowling Green. The Falcons lost to Western Kentucky by 28, by the way. That’s just crummy. My Prediction: MatyMauk (one word) 54, Hoosiers 17
Northern Illinois @ Arkansas (-13): This game opened at -8 but jumped 5 points. See what happens, Razorbacks, when you actually beat a Power 5 team for the first time in almost two years? Hogs vs. Huskies. There’s a fat boy trying on jeans joke in there somewhere. My Prediction: Hogs 51, Huskies 43
Mississippi State @ #8 LSU (-7.5): MSU’s last win in Baton Rouge was in 1991. Les Miles had yet to develop a taste for grass back then as he was coaching the offensive line at Michigan. And we all know any pasture in close proximity to Detroit is just plain filthy. Bulldogs keep it close, but Les dines. My Prediction: Tigers 24, MSU 20
#14 South Carolina (-20) @ Vanderbilt: Spurrier’s only lost twice to Vandy in his career, but both while at SoCar. Not a chance he gets number three here, but instead win number 202 and sole claim of that 2nd spot all-time. My Prediction: Cocks 41, ‘Dores 10
Follow me on Twitter @thenassar to share your shocks, shanks, chafes and lousy predictions!
An idiot college football fan spewing his views on SDS. A graduate of The University of Florida, his greatest gridiron accomplishment was several missed tackles on Tommie Frazier in high school. Much like the entire Gators defense in the '96 Fiesta Bowl.
