We can all pretend like they’ll happen.

Those fantasy storylines that get brought up endlessly in the preseason don’t often end up working out. Maybe it’s that we’re bad at predicting things (I’ll cop to that), or maybe it’s just that we want to see certain things happen and it clouds our judgment.

On April Fools’ Day, let’s try and predict the things we want to see but won’t happen in 2018:

1. Texas A&M soars into top 10 after statement win vs. Clemson

Sorry, but I’m not holding my breath on the Aggies beating the likely preseason No. 1 team in America. I think Texas A&M could have a very Auburn-like day trying to deal with the Tigers’ loaded defensive line. That’s not to say that I doubt Jimbo Fisher’s ability to turn around the Aggies’ offense, but in Week 2, that’s an awfully tough task even though it’ll be in College Station.

2. Deebo Samuel healthy, better than ever heading into postseason

I really, really, really hope that we get to see the South Carolina speedster play an entire season. I hate to predict an injury, but with Samuel, it happens all too often. He missed 20 games in 3 years of action, which doesn’t bode well for his senior season coming off yet another injury. I hope Samuel’s leg/ankle/everything stays healthy and we can see him become the SEC’s latest version of Percy Harvin. But like Harvin, good health is far from guaranteed for Samuel.

3. Kerryon who? New Auburn backfield thriving

Between Kam Martin, Malik Miller, JaTarvious Whitlow, Devan Barrett and Asa Martin, I’m not sold that Auburn is going to find someone who can take over a game like Johnson could.

Credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

As appreciated as Johnson was during the Tigers’ SEC West title season, I think his skills will be appreciated even more as Gus Malzahn tries to find his replacement. Maybe Martin can be the guy, but I need to see him perform well against a real defense — Georgia Southern, Mizzou and Ole Miss don’t count — before suggesting that he or anyone in Auburn’s backfield can do what Johnson did on a consistent basis.

4. SEC to switch to 9-game conference schedule

So remember how this should have happened 4 years ago? We’re entering Year 5 of the Playoff system and the SEC and ACC are still pretending that an 8-game conference schedule is totally fair. It isn’t. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that both conferences have made the Playoff each and every year. As a result, what motivation do those conferences have to change anything? If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it. But I fully expect to hear SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey talk about the possibility of it happening … only to have it not happen yet again.

5. LSU passing game taking flight with Steve Ensminger

I’ve heard this one before. LSU is on its third offensive coordinator in as many seasons, and I’m not sure we’ll see any different results. Derrius Guice and D.J. Chark are borderline first-round picks who are gone, and I’m not sure who can make up for their impact. I haven’t seen enough from Myles Brennan or Lowell Narcisse to tell me that either will be the elite quarterback that LSU has been desperate for. And with all of those elite defenses on the schedule (Miami, Auburn, Alabama, Georgia), I fear that it’ll be the same old story with LSU.

6. Jim Harbaugh promotes Jim McElwain to Michigan offensive coordinator

PLEASE LET THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEN. I have sooooooo many “explosive” tweets saved in my drafts if this does. Here’s a sneak peak of a few of them:

“Jim Harbaugh is hoping that Jim McElwain can attack this opportunity with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind…and I’m hoping I hit the Power Ball tonight.”

“Apparently Jim Harbaugh is looking for a new way to get dominated by Ohio State.”

“On the bright side for McElwain, he probably won’t have to make up death threats this time.”

OK, that last one was a bit harsh. Besides, there’s no WAY this actually happens. I can’t think that Harbaugh is so desperate that he’s going to turn his offense over to the guy who was basically given a Corvette and crashed it into a stop sign before he left his subdivision.

Right?

7. Division title up for grabs at World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party

I think one of the two teams in Jacksonville will be making a division title push. I don’t think it’ll be the team in blue and orange.

Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

While I like the long-term ability for Dan Mullen to turn around the Gators, I’m not banking on this being a 9-win team, which is essentially the minimum of what you have to be to compete for a division title. Georgia, on the other hand, should still be in shape to be leading the pace in the SEC East race as long as it can get past that showdown at South Carolina in September.

8. Alabama to use 2-quarterback system in Iron Bowl

Yes, I think there’s a very realistic possibility that we see some sort of 2-quarterback system in Tuscaloosa. No, I don’t think that’ll be the case by late November. Rarely do these things last an entire season. Maybe it’s an injury or one quarterback is just significantly better. Plus, the headache of having to answer every week “who will be your starting quarterback?” doesn’t sound like something Nick Saban will want to deal with if he doesn’t have to. My guess is that Tua Tagovailoa is Alabama’s starting quarterback by late November and that Jalen Hurts takes on a receiver role. But hey, what do I know?

9. Drew Lock looking to make final Heisman Trophy statement

It’s extremely difficult to be a senior quarterback and win the Heisman Trophy. Baker Mayfield was the exception to the rule. Why is that? Well, there’s a tendency to pick apart senior quarterbacks, especially when they have NFL prospects. Unless they far exceed their statistical totals and keep their team in a national title hunt, it’s not likely. I don’t see Lock doing either of those things. Do I think he regresses? No, but I think just repeating 44 touchdown passes with a new offensive coordinator is going to be extremely difficult.

10. All aboard! Lane Kiffin coming back to SEC

So I actually wrote that I like the Boca Raton version of Kiffin more than I like the SEC version. He’s not worried about being politically correct at FAU, and he’s free to weigh in on whatever he wants. Call me crazy, but I think Kiffin actually likes his freedom. He lives in a great area of the country, he can win 11 games a year and he isn’t hurting for money. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kiffin stayed at FAU at least 3 years before possibly looking at his next step to get back atop the coaching world.

But don’t get me wrong. I’ll be all aboard the Lane Train wherever it goes.