25 most unwatchable games of 2019
There are some games every year that define the entire college football season. They’re the ones that you mark down early on the calendar and know that there’s no way you’re going to miss it: Florida vs. Georgia, the Iron Bowl, Bama vs. LSU, etc.
And then there are all the others.
Today we pay homage to the games that you probably won’t watch but still fill up most of the schedule. For this list, we’re only including Power 5 matchups. We took it for granted no one wants to see Clemson vs. Northwest Savannah Tech or any of the other teams that make up the ACC Coastal, just kidding.
Here are the 25 most unwatchable games of the college football season, games you couldn’t pay me to watch.
25. Virginia Tech at Boston College: Week 1
Week 1 represents optimism, hope and excitement. What it doesn’t represent is two middling ACC teams fighting it out to determine which one will go to the Quick Lane Bowl.
24. Rutgers at Iowa: Week 2
To be honest, the entire Rutgers schedule could be on this list. We’ll start with this sleepy match against Iowa which you can see at noon during Week 2 or at 3 am on the B1G Network for all eternity.
23. Tennessee at Alabama: Week 8
Sorry, Vols. It’s blasphemy, I know, but there’s no other way to describe this series any more other than completely unwatchable. Saban is 12-0 against the Vols, and has won the past 3 by a combined 152-38.
22. North Carolina at Wake Forest: Week 3
If you’re looking for a good way out of your current relationship, try explaining to your significant other that you can’t go out on Friday night because North Carolina is playing at Wake Forest. That will surely be the end of things. This is the perfect Friday the 13th game.
21. Kentucky at Vanderbilt: Week 12
It would be nice if UK and Vandy could just send an email telling us they played and what the final score ended up as. It would save a ton of time.
20. Nebraska at Colorado: Week 2
Week 2 is full of huge P5 vs. P5 games with national implications … this is not one of them.
19. Rutgers at Indiana: Week 7
Unless you are a complete gambling degenerate or your son plays on the team, there’s no excuse to watch this game.
18. Pitt at Duke: Week 6
Yes, this game is awful. But it also could very well determine who wins the ACC Coastal, which somehow makes it even sadder.
17. Maryland at Ohio State: Week 11
If we wanted to see Ohio State embarrass someone on national TV, we’d watch that Urban Meyer press conference about Zach Smith again.
16. Baylor at Kansas: Week 14
These are the kind of Big 12 games that make you remember why the conference almost broke up 10 years ago. Maybe it would have been for the best.
15. Iowa at Northwestern: Week 9
If you’re not asleep by the end of the first quarter, you should probably go see a doctor.
14. Miami at Pitt: Week 9
Will any Pitt fans care about this game? Maybe. Will any Miami fans care about this game? Probably not. Will we care about this game? I hope not.
13. Louisville at Wake Forest: Week 7
The only thing that could possibly make this game interesting is if Louisville somehow manages to steal Wake’s playbook again. Otherwise, keep this one far away from us.
12. Rutgers at Illinois: Week 10
It’s honestly amazing this is a Power 5 conference matchup. There are preseason NFL games with higher stakes than this one will have.
11. Vanderbilt at Ole Miss: Week 6
Any game at Ole Miss is fun to attend, but to actually watch? You’ll have way more fun just staying in The Grove on this weekend.
10. Illinois at Minnesota: Week 6
We’ll finally get the answer to the age-old question “If Illinois played a football game at Minnesota and no one was there to see it, did it really happen?”
9. Missouri at Vanderbilt: Week 8
If you’ve ever wanted to go to an SEC matchup for only $5, this might be your one chance. At least until these teams play again next year.
8. Georgia Tech at Miami: Week 8
There’s maybe nothing sadder in college sports than an early afternoon game at Miami with more people on the sidelines than in the stands. A close second will be what Georgia Tech tries to hobble together on offense this season.
7. Missouri at Arkansas: Week 14
The last weekend of the college football season gives you the best rivalry games, the best holiday food, and precious moments with your family that you’ll never get back. So please don’t spend a second of it watching Missouri vs. Arkansas.
6. Kansas at Iowa State: Week 13
Many programs schedule their worst opponent of the year on the weekend before Rivalry Weekend, that’s exactly what the Big 12 did here.
5. Utah at Oregon State: Week 7
If you wake up in the middle of the night in early October, there’s a chance you might catch a glimpse of this game. Please be aware now so you can avoid any chance of it happening.
4. Alabama vs. Duke (in Atlanta): Week 1
There are some years when you could have made a somewhat decent argument that Duke could catch Alabama off guard in Week 1 by out-hustling them and being more motivated. Unfortunately for Duke, that’s not this year. This might be the only time you ever feel bad for a Duke team.
3. Kansas at Boston College: Week 3
If you’ve ever wondered what the polar opposite of a “high-powered offense” is, make sure to tune into this one. Another game perfectly suited for Friday the 13th.
2. Duke at Wake Forest: Week 13
Thank goodness the ACC Network exists. Can you imagine not having easy access to watch Duke vs. Wake Forest in late November? How did we ever survive?
1. Boston College at Rutgers: Week 4
When you schedule nonconference games, you have the world at your fingertips. You can take your team across the country to play in the nation’s most historic stadiums or against the nation’s top teams … yet Boston College decided to play nonconference games against Kansas and Rutgers in back-to-back weeks.