Ah, Week 12. That time when the rest of the nation suffers from an acute case of amnesia and focuses all of its attention on a slate of admittedly pathetic SEC games.

This is why they’re ranked so high! They don’t play nobody, Paawwwl!”

Grammar issues aside, here’s the rub: Your league plays cupcakes too. They just usually call them “conference games.”

In fact, here are 5 games Power 5 teams are playing in Week 12 that are every bit as unwatchable as anything you’ll see today in Tuscaloosa or Athens or Auburn or Gainesville or anywhere else in the SEC.

Penn State vs. Rutgers

The Big Ten loves to pound its chest about its mighty 9-game conference schedule and the inherent dangers of navigating such a daunting journey.

The entire premise is about as preposterous and pretentious as naming division “Legends” and “Leaders.”

Today, Penn State risks its reputation against a Rutgers team that not only is 0-7 in the Big Ten but lost by 41 points to Kansas and by 29 to Buffalo.

Tread lightly, Lions.

Michigan vs. Indiana

This would be really good if it were a basketball game.

Instead, we get a Playoff hopeful facing a conference team that hasn’t posted a winning record in its conference since 1993.

We love our streaks in the SEC. Here’s a streak for you: Michigan has beaten Indiana 22 consecutive times — 15 of those by double digits.

Harrowing, Harbaugh. Absolutely harrowing.

North Carolina vs. Western Carolina

Winner gets East Carolina? Scratch that. ECU already blasted UNC by 22 earlier in the season.

UNC could use a victory. The Tar Heels are 1-8 and have dropped six consecutive since upsetting Pitt.

The last time UNC finished a season with 1 win? You have to go back to Mack Brown’s first two years in Chapel Hill, when the Heels went 1-10 in 1988 and 1989.

The 1989 season was memorable for how it ended: Steve Spurrier’s Duke team blasted UNC 41-0 and then posed for a picture in front of the scoreboard. Classic Spurrier.


Both are pretenders at this point, but at least USC didn’t lose at home to Cincinnati and Fresno State by a combined 33 points.

UAB has a better chance of beating Texas A&M than UCLA does of beating even a completely average USC squad.

Oklahoma vs. Kansas

Kansas has won 6 Big 12 games in the past 10 seasons. Not 6 a year. Six, total.

Poke fun at Vandy all you want, naysayers. Kansas is Vandy — without the academics, destination city or hot chicken.

Kansas is so bad, it has seniors who lost to Rutgers.

Oklahoma, if it chooses, might beat Kansas by more than Alabama beats The Citadel.