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Football Friday Free For All: Hulk Hogan, Teddy KGB and Muschamp
By Kevin Duffey
Published:
How could Alabama-Mississippi State possibly get any bigger? What if Hulk Hogan delivered a pre-game speech to get the crowd riled up? Well, Alabama, the Golden State Warriors beat you to it, and boy did it not deliver.
Is there anything more awkward than Hogan doing the thing where he holds his hands up to his ear to hear the crowd roar while the indifferent crowd shrugs and looks down at their iPhones? Well, that’s basically what happened last night at the Warriors game:
At least the Knicks have celebrities at their games with celebrities who are still celebrities.
Pop quiz… who would you rather have a beer with: Hulk Hogan or Corey Kluber?
Who is Corey Kluber, you ask? Ok, new pop quiz. Corey Kluber is:
A) A plumber in New Jersey.
B) The equipment manager for the Arkansas Razorbacks football team.
C) The American League Cy Young Winner.
Keep reading for the answer…
Why are Alabama and Mississippi State even taking the field? From what I’ve been told, Mississippi State has no shot. I typically hate the “we get no respect” card, but my goodness, has there ever been a No. 1 team written off more than Mullen’s Bulldogs?
Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Mississippi State shock the world tomorrow in Tuscaloosa.
The other thing I’m excited about is the return of Todd Gurley. Auburn’s defense is reeling, and Gurley is quite fresh. This might get ugly. Chubb gets to soften up that defense just in time for a Gurley substitution! Brutal.
While the SEC East has been delivering a season of mediocrity, the final three weeks should be pretty interesting as we get to see who gets the opportunity to head to Atlanta to get crushed by the SEC West champion. Florida-South Carolina, Georgia-Auburn, Missouri-Texas A&M all have East implications this week.
Speaking of Florida-South Carolina, remember Will Muschamp? Wasn’t he supposed to be fired like three weeks ago? In the words of one of my favorite movie characters ever, Teddy KGB from Rounders, “Hanging around, hanging around. Kid’s got alligator blood. Can’t get rid of him.”
Getting back to professional wrestling, I think Will Muschamp could have a nice career as a WWE star. He might need to get on the HGH, but that combined with his natural temper could equate to a nice wrestling heel. He might be lacking in the charisma department slightly, but you can solve that by pairing him with a good manager. Lane Kiffin, maybe?
Butch Jones seems a bit WWE-ish as well. As Butch attempts to will his team to bowl eligibility over Kentucky tomorrow, is it just me or are you kind of excited to see the reaction of the losing team’s fans in this matchup? While Kentucky has the potential for a disaster after starting the season 5-1, I don’t think they care as much as Tennessee fans. As such, if you’re rooting for chaos, maybe you’re rooting for Kentucky to win.
…Back to my boy Corey Kluber. He’s the AL Cy Young Winner! You know your sports league is struggling to connect with fans when you announce your Cy Young Winner and the response is “WHO?!?!?!”
What I’m looking forward to watching on Saturday… Amari Cooper dominate an average Mississippi State secondary, Spurrier get increasingly frustrated at his offense in the Swamp, the trailer of Clint Eastwood’s American Sniper movie during every commercial break, Kyle Allen do his thing at Kyle Allen Field, and Gurley begin his three week NFL Draft highlight reel.
Enjoy your Saturday.
A graduate of the University of Florida and founder of Saturday Down South, Kevin is a college football enthusiast.