Not like this, Florida State. Not like this.

“Wide Right!” used to be the only thing separating the Seminoles from a national championship. Now, the state of the program is personified by that sunburnt, shirtless middle-aged man reading a book by himself to divert his eyes from watching another drubbing at the hands of an actual college football power. The program that ended the BCS era with one of the great single-season performances ever is now a shell of its former self just a half decade into the Playoff era.

None of this is news to anyone who was forced to watch FSU in Willie Taggart’s first year in Tallahassee. After missing a bowl for the first time since 1981, Taggart and Co., are attempting to turn the page to a new chapter. Or rather, pretend that the last chapter never happened.

This comment from Taggart over the weekend at the Seminole Boosters’ Spring Tour, via the Tampa Bay Times, is peak-FSU these days:

“It’s going well. We’re undefeated. I think we’ve got the offseason ahead of us. Our players have been working really hard. Our team’s been coming together the way we want it to. Really excited about this summer.”

Hey, um, Willie? Butch Jones called. He’d like his attitude back.

If Taggart is under the impression that last year’s train wreck vanished into thin air (like FSU’s national relevance), I’m sorry, but he’s incredibly mistaken. Oh, and before you tell me I’m taking that out of context, here’s what Taggart had to say in relation to why he believes his team will improve from 5-7:

“We don’t talk about last year. I just don’t think it’s fair to gauge this team on last year’s team. It’s a totally different team. These guys have been working. They understand and are really helping build a culture that has won here. Going to Year 2, we always talk about you’re getting better, or you’re getting worse. You don’t stay the same. I think we’re getting better in every aspect.”

You don’t talk about last year? OK, well excuse me because I will bring up a few things that FSU did in the past year. And just a heads up, the most embarrassing part of the Seminoles’ year wasn’t that their offensive line avoided pass-rushers like a high-and-tight fastball, or that they took care of the football like a 4-year-old walking a German Shepherd.

The most embarrassing thing has been watching FSU take “L” after “L” this offseason.

Where should I start? How about the first week in February when the Seminoles were down to 1 scholarship quarterback. Why were they down to 1 scholarship QB?

Well, former ACC Offensive Rookie of the Year Deondre Francois was kicked off the team after his girlfriend posted a video on Instagram alleging ongoing physical abuse. That was a month after Francois announced he was returning for his senior year.

That same week, 4-star quarterback recruit Lance LeGendre surprisingly committed to Maryland over FSU on National Signing Day. The announcement came a couple months after No. 3 dual-threat quarterback recruit Sam Howell dropped his longtime FSU commitment only to sign with in-state UNC. And if you want to include 4-star John Rhys Plumlee committing to Ole Miss instead of FSU in February, that was 3 major whiffs on quarterbacks in the 2019 class.

That marked the second consecutive year that Taggart failed to sign a quarterback recruit. Let me repeat that because I’m not sure that came across like it was supposed to.

Taggart, an offensive-minded head coach, has yet to sign a quarterback recruit at Florida State and he’s in his third recruiting cycle.

Yeah, that’s an “L.”

Credit: Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

But while it’s certainly a tomahawk chop to the gut to watch quarterbacks spurn FSU in favor of schools like Maryland, Ole Miss and UNC, it’s still not as bad as hiring Kendal Briles, which Taggart did so against the wishes of FSU fans and alumni. It didn’t matter that Briles was on Baylor’s staff while 19 football players were accused of sexual assault or domestic assault, nor did it matter that a Title IX lawsuit alleged that Briles once told a recruit, “Do you like white women? Because we have a lot of them at Baylor, and they love football players.”

Nope. What mattered was Taggart finding a way to improve his anemic offense and hiring Briles on a contract that’ll pay him $1 million annually.

Win or lose with Briles and that’s still a big fat “L.”

That alone was probably enough to turn public opinion against FSU. So instead of staying quiet and keeping a low profile following a historically awful season, FSU decided to take its losing to social media. How can one lose on social media?

Oh, I don’t know. How about photoshopping Martin Luther King Jr.’s hand into doing the tomahawk chop?

Goodness gracious. That tweet, which was obviously deleted, came from the official @FSU_Recruiting account.

FSU’s #DoSomething hashtag for the last year is almost too ironic. The Seminoles should try and do something that doesn’t make their program the butt of every joke.

For crying out loud, they finished No. 119 against the pass and then tweeted this little gem because apparently the Gators made a claim that they didn’t approve of:

Cool flex, FSU. Way to try and be a part of a popular meme by completely ignoring what everyone watched in 2018. Oh, and one other thing.

The tweet is literally shaped like an “L.”

Yes, that joke is still relevant nearly 4 months later because that’s all FSU has been doing this offseason. “L” after “L” after “L.” But sure, Taggart. Try and convince everyone that you’re “undefeated.”

If you want to treat 2018 like Jimbo Fisher left you a sky-high mess that you shoved into your closet, be my guest. If FSU fans want to do that overplayed War Chant after every 4-yard gain, fine. I suppose that’s a feat worth celebrating these days. And if people want to treat this like it’s just some SEC homer column that’s kicking FSU when it’s down, I can’t stop them from doing that, either.

But if you somehow agreed with Taggart’s “undefeated” message, you’re living in denial. FSU keeps losing, and quite frankly, it doesn’t look like it has any idea how to stop.

My suggestion? Stop daydreaming about your past life, wake up and take steps to fix your embarrassing 2019 reality.

That would qualify as actually doing something.