The Florida and Auburn fans' guide to trash talk
Week 6 of the college football season has arrived and the eyes of college football world are on Gainesville for the undefeated matchup between Auburn and Florida. Who will take their first loss of the season and who will just inevitably get their hopes crushed by Georgia in November? We can’t wait to find out.
We know that trash talk is as much a part of the college football experience as anything, so we put together all the trash talk both teams need to get through the week. Feel free to steal these and use them on your friends, in your office, or on your GameDay sign.
Auburn Trash Talk
1. Auburn is the only campus in the country that actually looks better when it’s covered in toilet paper.
2. Auburn is where people go when they can’t get into a good school like Florida, and also don’t want the pressure of watching their team compete for championships like Alabama or Clemson.
3. Say what you will about the talent of the teams themselves … but there’s no doubt Florida fans are way better at making sure their coach actually gets fired when they don’t like him.
4. Gainesville is literally called “Hogtown” and yet it still has more culture than the city of Auburn … and better hogs, too.
5. We were going to make fun of Auburn, but Bruce Pearl slipped us a $10,000 check to stay quiet.
6. If you’ve never been to the city of Auburn, just visit a Circle K, take a walk around back to where the bathrooms are, and it’s basically like that except with more toilet paper.
7. Auburn can afford to pay Cam Newton, but they can’t give Gus a sweater with sleeves.
8. Auburn’s greatest traditions include: Tiger Walk, Toomer’s Corner, and unsuccessfully trying to fire their football coach after losing to Alabama.
9. When you finally get to coach at Arkansas:
10. Sorry, but no real school wears Under Armour.
Florida Trash Talk
1. The University of Florida wants you to think it’s one of the smartest schools in the SEC, but they’re also the school that Ryan Lochte went to, so …
2. Florida’s offensive line is like Dan Mullen’s smile, filled with gaps.
3. Florida lost to post-championship season Gene Chizik, no joke can ever be more embarrassing than that.
4. What do the Florida Gators and Shrek have in common? They are both used to losing in their Swamp.
5. Dan Mullen is Cousin Eddy from Vacation if Cousin Eddy were a worse recruiter.
6. Did you hear Florida unveiled their uniforms for Saturday?
7. What do UF students do when they want to have fun? Go to Tallahassee.
8. Tim Tebow finished 0-2 vs. Auburn in his career, which is also a typical day at the plate for him in the minor leagues.
9. Remember when Cam Newton came in to start for the Gators right after Tebow graduated and continued the Florida dynasty well into the 2010s? Wait, that never happened? What a shame.
10. And as always, Go Gata …