Sometimes, not everything that needs to be said can be said over a network broadcast. So that’s why we are bringing you Saturday Down South’s Uncensored Commentary of the Alabama vs. Tennessee game:

Welcome to Tuscaloosa for a rare Alabama home night game. The crowd is loud, the LED lights are blaring, and Tennessee fans are ready to get their hopes and dreams crushed. Let’s do this.

15:00

Tennessee gets the ball first and also gets a quick reminder why you always fair catch against Bama. The Vols are immediately backed up close to their own 10 and are punting before the first verse to Rocky Top wraps up.

After a bad punt and a pass interference, Alabama almost immediately has the ball inside the 10 and proceeds to score 2 plays later. Very smart of Tennessee to just get that first quick Bama touchdown out of the way. Now the real game begins.

Alabama jumps on top, 7-0.

11:22

Tennessee switches up its offensive gameplan by letting passes bounce off their hands and into the hands of the Bama defense. Surprisingly, not the worst decision a Jeremy Pruitt coached football team has made.

Meanwhile, Tua does his best Trevor Lawrence impression by throwing an absolutely horrible interception and the Vols run it back to midfield. If Tennessee fans ever want to daydream about what it would have looked like if Tua committed to them, they can just re-watch that play over and over, because that’s probably the easiest catch a Tennessee player will make all night.

8:55

Tennessee has the ball on the goal line and sneaks it into the end zone to tie the game. The refs are so shocked they don’t even signal touchdown. Either that or no one wants to be the one to give Nick Saban bad news.

We’re tied in Tuscaloosa, 7-7.

4:12

You have to learn to always appreciate the precious few moments when Bama is tied or losing early in games. If you don’t stop and take a look around once in a while, you might miss it. Tua leads the Tide right down the field and Bama retakes the lead.

Alabama 14, Tennessee 7.

2nd quarter

14:10

Vols QB Brian Maurer gets hit high and forces Jarrett Guarantano to enter the game. Maurer begs Jeremy Pruitt to put him back in but Pruitt makes a rare correct moral decision by sending him to the locker room. Didn’t know he had that in him.

Somehow, Guarantano leads the Vols close to a touchdown. But close is good enough for this Tennessee team. The Vols kick a field goal and keep this game close.

Alabama 14-10

10:21

ESPN shows a graphic comparing Guarantano to Peyton Manning. What’s next, comparing Arkansas to a real SEC team?

Meanwhile, Tua leads another lightning quick scoring drive and Bryant-Denny turns into a Stone Mountain laser light show once again.

Alabama is in control 21-10.

4:45

Suddenly this game stops becoming all fun and lights for Bama. Tua gets rolled up on and has to limp over to the tent and eventually to the locker room … and eventually an ambulance. We all expected to see Mac Jones, but not like this, not like this.

On the bright side of things for Bama, not too many backup quarterbacks have had as much playing time this year as Jones. On the other hand, buckle up folks. This could get rough.

2:22

Jones skips a few passes and takes a big sack, but as long as he doesn’t hand the ball off to the wrong team, Alabama fans will take it.

As the clock runs out on the first half, Alabama has the ball in field goal range and is setting up for a last second kick as time expires. But Jeremy Pruitt decides to waste all that good karma he gained earlier by calling all 3 of his timeouts. It makes the Alabama fans angry and gives time for the Alabama kicker to remember he’s an Alabama kicker. It’s no good and we have a ball game heading into the second half

3rd quarter

12:13

Jeremy Pruitt comes out in the second half trying to manufacture some enthusiasm for the Vols and also annoy the refs. It works to fire up his defense for a quick 3-and-out and also for a series of questionable calls against his offense that push Tennessee back from inside the 5 to a long field goal attempt. They make it though, and just like that it’s a 1-score game.

Alabama 21-13.

8:47

A rare sense of unease has settled in Tuscaloosa, Mac Jones is flailing and Tennessee is slowly gaining momentum. That is until Tennessee commits a very obvious (to Bama fans anyway) personal foul that gives Alabama a 1st down and Jeremy Pruitt an aneurysm.

The only thing that fuels an Alabama offense more than Tua is pure Tennessee misery, and they use that to drive the rest of the way down the field and score a touchdown on a pass from Slade Bolden. Maybe it doesn’t matter who is playing quarterback for Bama, just as long as they’re always playing Tennessee.

Alabama 28-13.

4th quarter

10:55

You have to at least give Tennessee credit for not giving up. They enter the 4th quarter down by only 2 scores and go on a long, slow, methodical drive that gives viewers plenty of time to watch more exciting sporting events on TV.

After 14 plays, Tennessee has a 4th-and-goal on the 1-yard line. Pruitt calls in the play. Guarantano must not have liked it. He dives over the line, except he forgets to bring the ball with him. It results in 100-yard fumble return for a touchdown and a very obvious missed facemask penalty on Jeremy Pruitt.

Alabama 35-13.

4:19

At this point, everyone just wants the game to end. Bama fans break out cigars in the stands and Tennessee fans once again start to wonder what the point of this is. On the field, Mac Jones leads a final drive that wipes out most of the clock and gives Tennessee the ball back with just a few seconds left.

The Vols then break out whatever the opposite of the victory formation is, take a knee, and hope to forget this ever happens.

Final: Alabama 35-13.