‘Twas A Month Before Football

‘Twas a month before football, and all through the South,
Rabid fans everywhere were running their mouth.
The schedules were set for the season with care,
In hopes that college playoffs soon would be there.

The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of championships danced in their heads.
Saban with a new trophy, wish I had one too!
We’re patiently waiting for the season to ensue…

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see the Mad Hatter.
Away to Media Days we flew like a flash,
Reminiscing how Petrino left with a crash.

Highlight of the offseason, which passes so slow.
At least now there’s only a month left to go!
When what to my wondering eyes it appears,
But two new teams in a conference of peers!

With the old Mike Slive, so lively and quick,
We know this year, he’s a damn good commish.
More rapid than others his conference they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Wildcats! Now Rebels! Now Gamecocks and Gators!
On Mizzou, On TAMU! Don’t listen to haters!
To the top of the world, we’re having a ball!
S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C to all!”

As the media tweeted and lifted hands to the sky,
Vandy’s coach stepped up, looking so fly.
Shouts from the podium, “Anchor Down” he spew,
Steve Spurrier was laughing, Will Muschamp was too.

Mark Richt, in a twinkling, I heard he dismissed,
The next Herschel Walker from Georgia’s big list.
As I drew my head, and was turning around,
Down the hall Hugh Freeze came with a bound.

He had seen the billboards, but was slightly confused,
It was Mullen’s state, Houston Nutt was abused.
At least things were different for those on the Plains,
Chizik won it all aboard the Cam Newton train!

Down on the Bayou, there’s an Aussie that punts,
And a Honey Badger who takes what he wants!
The Aggies and Mizzou are new to the scene,
They’ll be winning, but more like Charlie Sheen.

In Fayettenam, the Hogs are waiting their turn,
To see which DB’s Tyler Wilson will burn.
Derek and Joker can enjoy the hot seat,
How many teams do you think they will beat?

Drama last year was LSU fighting the bar,
Bray started us early throwing bottles at a car.
That’s life in this conference, I readily admit,
Get ‘em on the field, and let’s see these boys hit!

National Championships are easier than the SEC,
If you don’t believe, you can just ask Steve.
So now we sit and wait for the veterans to report,
And hope they are ready to hold down the fort.

Will the streak of six straight be ending this year?
Hell no! Start the tailgate and be ready to cheer!
Winning every championship is what it’s all about,
Here’s wishing every Saturday was a Saturday Down South.

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