25 questions I wish that I could ask coaches and players at SEC Media Days
I’d like to think I have a filter.
Sometimes, questions pop into my head that never see the light of day. They’re questions that I wouldn’t dare firing off in an actual press conference or player interview.
Why? I don’t like awkward situations, I’d like to keep my credential and I’d like to avoid coming off as a complete jerk. When I’m in Atlanta for SEC Media Days next week, I’ll have a natural filter on any questions that I ask players or coaches.
But the internet is a safe place for some of those questions that I have locked away in my brain. At least I think it is.
So with that in mind, here are the 25 questions that I wish I could ask in Atlanta next week:
1. Nick Saban, Alabama — How high did the price get for a grad transfer quarterback this offseason?
2. Drew Lock, Mizzou — Is the Tom Herman dartboard in your apartment or in the locker room?
3. Cece Jefferson, Florida — Was defending against Jim McElwain’s offense like walking into a second grade classroom and taking a spelling test?
4. Hjalte Froholdt, Arkansas — How do you say, “Bret Bielema’s offense was an absolute train wreck” in Danish?
5. Anfernee Jennings, Alabama — How does it feel to be the last linebacker standing?
6. Jarrett Stidham, Auburn — What was a tougher reality to face; leaving the state of Texas or losing to UCF?
7. Sean Rawlings, Ole Miss — How would you have felt about Hugh Freeze getting a coordinator job this year?
8. Dan Mullen, Florida — Were you your wife’s fifth choice, too?
9. Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M — Can you speak English, please?
10. Benny Snell, Kentucky — What date is Big Blue Madness this year?
11. Will Muschamp, South Carolina — Before you fired off the “#HadGas” tweet, how many times did you make sure you had enough gas just so you could say that?
12. Nick Fitzgerald, Mississippi State — Be honest. When you saw your name in those early mock drafts, did you cackle like I did?
13. Joe Moorhead, Mississippi State — You don’t need any more cowbell, do you?
14. Jeremy Pruitt, Tennessee — Asparagus … have you figured it out yet? If so, thoughts?
15. Devin White, LSU — How big of an adjustment is it going to be if/when you guys have to defend against an actual quarterback in practice?
16. J.R. Reed, Georgia — How’s the Cover 2 looking?
17. Kirby Smart, Georgia — You do realize that $7 million a year means that you don’t have to cut your own hair anymore, right?
18. Kyle Shurmur, Vanderbilt — Do you have your number with the Giants picked out already?
19. Marquez Callaway, Tennessee — Do Tennessee players refer to him as “intern Butch Jones” like I do?
20. Barry Odom, Mizzou — Was Drew Lock announcing his return equal to or better than the birth of your first-born child?
21. Gus Malzahn, Auburn — So far, how many times have you heard the term “dog crap” since you’ve been in the state of Georgia?
22. Trayveon Williams, Texas A&M — What would you rather do: hit up a Justin Bieber concert with Nick Starkel or write down everything Jimbo Fisher says for one day?
23. Ed Orgeron, LSU — When you and Dave Aranda go out to dinner, who picks up the check?
24. Chad Morris, Arkansas — Since you bought a $3.8 million house in Arkansas, do you now legally own the entire state of Arkansas?
25. Jake Bentley, South Carolina — Hey, shouldn’t you be at your high school prom right now?