After a weekend of controversy the playoffs are finally set.  Could it have been prevented?  Maybe.  Do we want it that way?  Doubtful.  At least it provides fodder for my Shocks, Shanks, Chafes and Predictions of the week.

Biggest Shocks:  Outside of Norman not much shocked me this week.  More on that later.  Okay, Shelley Meyer’s husband’s team destroying Wisconsin was a bit of a bombshell, but I’m not here to write about the misfortunes of the B1G.  This isn’t “Saturday Up Midwest”.

The theme of this week’s offering is the polls.  I’ve told those grumbling about the whereabouts of their team in each week to relax because in the end it would all work itself out.  In the end it did.  Sure you’re steamed if you’re a fan of TCU or Baylor, but let’s be honest – no one really expected you to be here at the end of the year 15 weeks ago.

The road travelled took a few unexpected detours but we still almost got to the same destination we thought we would to start the season.  The AP Preseason Poll had Florida State, Alabama, Oregon, Oklahoma and Ohio State in the Top 5. With the exception of the always-overrated Sooners, they got it pretty darn right.   

If you’re going to have polls (we shouldn’t) they should be predictors of where teams will be come season’s end – not just a knee jerk reaction to where things are in the moment.  Slide in all the Auburns, Baylors, Mississippi States, Notre Dames, Ole Misses, and TCUs you want, but in the end it didn’t matter.  The preseason poll got it right this year, mostly, and that may be the most shocking thing to happen all season. 

Biggest Shanks: The shank of the season may have been Missouri Linebacker Shane Ray’s targeting of Blake Sims and ejection vs. Alabama.  People can dislike this rule all they want, but that was such a clear targeting hit that it could be used in training videos for referees.

Don’t give me the malarkey about it being something that happened in the heat of the moment and he couldn’t stop himself.  Players are taught from day one not to hit that way.  I’d like to believe the SEC’s sack leader knows better.  It doesn’t make him an awful person and besmirch his name henceforth, but it does make him a shank-worthy ninny hammer this week.

Meanwhile my disapproval of the nickname “Big Game Bob” was on full display with Stoops’ arcane decision making en route to a home loss against a bad 5-6 Okie State team. BGB’s week started with 66% of another fan base wanting him as a head coach and ended with 66% of his own fan base wanting him fired.  I shall refer to him as “Blown Game Bob” until proven otherwise.

Finally, let’s talk about the bowl selection committee. There was too much avoidable controversy from this gang with TCU irrationally leapfrogging FSU in the polls last week – a prime example of being caught in the moment. Much like Joey Galloway, it flabbergasts me how they ranked TCU #3 six days ago and on Sunday ranked them #6. Had FSU been ranked 3rd the argument of 4th place would have still been hairy with TCU, OSU and Baylor, just not Stephen Garcia hairy like it was.  A team should never drop three spots for winning 55-3.  If you think they could, don’t put them there to begin with.

Biggest Chafes: Let’s close out this trilogy of poll trolling with my ultimate chafe of college football today and that’s having polls at all.  Many argue that “rankings = ratings”, but that logic doesn’t fly with me.  Times change and so do perspectives.  A “rankings = ratings” mantra may have been acceptable in 1980, but so was smoking cigarettes in a car with the windows up and your kids in the backseat with no seatbelts on. 

The polls do not matter until the final week.  Let’s save them for one glorious unveiling on selection Sunday. And how can the committee make it a priority to do this final, vital poll on Sunday morning, yet lollygag the other weeks and drag it out until Tuesday?

But my biggest chafe this week is knowing I have to endure five weeks of hullabaloo from my three least fan bases in America.  I’ve often felt if I wind up in Hell when I die, college football will be on all of the time but it will only be games involving Alabama, Florida State and Ohio State. 

I have no beef with Oregon.  If I believed it was acceptable to have a second favorite team in a sport it would be The Ducks. Having them lumped in with these three spawns on Satan is like being told I can see a band I really dig – let’s say Slayer – but I have to watch Mariah Carey, Nickelback and Kanye West in order to see them.  And I have to listen to every single song. 

Curse my family, tell me I’m an idiot Gators homer and question my loyalty to the SEC, but I’m “Ducking out” for the next five weeks so the following 47 won’t be as excruciating.  Consider this my letter to Santa, and all I want for Christmas is no championship for schools that “row”, are “unconquered” or feel the necessity to arrogantly emphasize the word “THE”.

One final chafe: the word smorgasbord has no “H” before the “M”.  Schmuck does, however.    

My Lousy Picks: I had a 3-1-finish bringing the yearly tally to 44-46-1.  Bowl season is the most wonderful time of the year but its also the most unpredictable.  I used to live for bowl season, but much like Meg Ryan these bowls are getting alarmingly less attractive every year.  These games don’t run for a bit so guessing ATS is just silly.  Therefore, I’m rolling with a confidence ranking for these 13 games, straight up, maximum point total of 145.  Let’s see if I break 100.

Sugar Bowl – Ohio State vs. Alabama: Make all the jokes you want to about Nick Saban making Shelley’s husband want to quit.  No, seriously – make them.  You cannot tell me in good faith Meyer’s heart didn’t thump just a tad harder when he learned his team’s slating.  Shelley’s Husband is only 1-2 against Saban but it feels like 20.  Tack on the pressure of TOSU never beating Bama and Cardale Jones vs. The Tide “D” and I gotta say rowdamntahd.  My Prediction:  Alabama 38, Shelley’s Husband’s Team 13 (13 points)

Rose Bowl – FSU vs. Oregon: The Noles are underdogs for the FIRST TIME in their last 50 games.  These teams have never met, Oregon hasn’t won a game by less than 12 points since losing to Arizona and FSU hasn’t lost a game in two seasons.  Georgia Tech was effective offensively against The Noles.  Marcus Mariota and company are much better. My Prediction: Ducks 48, Noles 34 (12 Points)

Belk Bowl – Louisville vs. Georgia: No previous meetings but The Dawgs did spank Clemson to start the year and The Cards lost to them by 6.  That, of course, means everything and nothing.  Dawgs are better than their 9-3 record and Louisville is worse than theirs.  My Prediction: UGA 35, LOU 24 (11 points)

Texas Bowl – Texas vs. Arkansas:  Rich history in this one dating back to 1894 meeting 77 times until their last one in 2008. Texas leads just a bit with 56 wins.  Both teams have solid defenses, but The Hogs’ offense is markedly better.  My Prediction: Razorbacks 24, Longhorns 10 (10 points)

Music City Bowl – Notre Dame vs. LSU: The teams have split 10 games with the last going to LSU in ‘07 at The Sugar Bowl before JaMarcus Russell gave his life to purple drank and then to the DISH network.  This should be a tough road for a turnover prone Irish squad against the nation’s #8 defense.  My Prediction: LSU 27, Irish 16 (9 points)

Orange Bowl – Georgia Tech vs. Mississippi State:  Jackets are 4-0 in this series and are probably a little more excited to be here than the former #1 team in America.  I feel The Wreck might be a little cocky from their win over UGA, though, so I lean with Clanga and a bit of a better defense.  My Prediction: MSU 41, GT 27 (8 points)

Outback Bowl – Wisconsin vs. Auburn:  It’s 1-1-1 in this series with the tie coming in 1931.  If you were alive to remember that one email me your name, address, SSN and bank account routing number and I’ll mail you a signed 8×10 glossy.  Foolishly, I’m expecting a lot of rushing in this game.  My Prediction: WDE 35, Badgers 31 (7 points)

TaxSlayer Bowl – Iowa vs. Tennessee: Hayden Fry and Johnny Majors split a pair of bowls in the 80’s, and that’s all there is to this.  The Hawkeyes are the epitome of big ole boring B1G football.  Unless you’re from Rocky Top, avoid this one.  My Prediction: UT 21, Iowa 17 (6 points)

Liberty Bowl – West Virginia vs. Texas A&M: No previous matchups from the Big 12 defector and a team that replaced them.  Both can score and neither can really stop it. Should be a fun shootout between a pair of streaky teams in 2014.  My Prediction: Swagcopter 44, ‘Neers 43 (5 points)

Birmingham Bowl – ECU vs. Florida: This game almost does less for me than no bowl at all.  They’ve had one prior meeting in 1983.  UF won that mid-season clash and finished the year ranked in the AP Top 10 for the first time ever.  The best thing about this game is it’s the last I have to watch Florida without Jim McElwain as HBC.  My Prediction: UF 31, ECU 20 (4 points)

Independence Bowl – Miami vs. South Carolina: These teams haven’t met since Jimmy Johnson and his hair were at “Tha U”.  Cackalacky hasn’t beaten The Canes since 1947. Steve Spurrier was a toddler but probably already had a smart mouth.  In this battle of “meh” teams I think they Canes will be a little hungrier.  My Prediction: Miami 24, SoCar 20 (3 points)

Citrus Bowl – Minnesota vs. Missouri:  Mizzou owns a 4-3-1 edge all-time but they haven’t met since 1970.  The Tigers faced a Big 10 team this year and lost at home, and Minnesota is a wee better than Indiana.  On paper, this game bores my pants off.  It probably will on the field, too.  My Prediction: Gophers 23, Tigers 22 (2 points)

Peach Bowl – TCU vs. Ole Miss: Sixth all-time meeting with The Rebs winning five.  While The Peach Bowl may be disappointing for Ole Miss I’m fairly certain it’s worse for the playoff snubbed Frogs.  This could be a prime example of a team so disenchanted that they don’t even show up, but I trust Gary Patterson to right the ship.  This is my favorite non-playoff game out there.  My Prediction: TCU 20, Ole Miss 17 (1 point)

If the Championship falls as predicted I’ll be rooting against rowdaggumtahd, but my brain is smarter than my heart.  They’re #1 and #2 right now for a reason and I think it stands.  Alabama 34, Oregon 30.  Follow me on Twitter @thenassar to share your blundering bowl picks.  If you wish me “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” I will block you.