HOOVER, Ala. — I didn’t think anybody would have the guts to do it, but I was proven wrong Tuesday at SEC Media Days.

Coach, as someone who hopefully will never experience this, can you tell me what it’s like to wake up and realize that you’re going to have to answer questions about whether you were nude on top of a shark?

About two months ago, a photo started to make the rounds on social media of a man in a boat lying down naked on the back of a shark. Most unfortunate for him, said man bared a resemblance to Florida coach Jim McElwain.

A story that never should have been a story in the first place is a story all over again.

Last year at SEC Media Days, nobody in the main room had the nerve to ask Alabama coach Nick Saban about offensive tackle Cam Robinson. The eventual Outland Trophy winner had been arrested recently on drug and weapon charges, but Saban refused to suspend him. Reporters — local and national alike — were criticized for being soft.

But a story that never should have been a story in the first place is a story all over again, and McElwain has nobody to blame but himself for this mess.

“You know, I love the humor in it, all right,” McElwain said initially, trying to laugh it off before his emotions got the best of him, “and yet, you know what, what it did, that actually not only attacked the university but attacked my family, when you know it’s not you. You know, I bust chops with the best of them now, and yet when it got personal …”

McElwain trailed off without actually finishing his response, turning up the temperature in the room immediately. A few silent seconds felt like an eternity until McElwain decided it was time to change the subject.

“Nobody else?”

Credit: Jason Getz-USA TODAY Sports

Finally, another reporter asked him about the Gators’ intensifying-by-the-day rivalry with LSU, but the damage was already done. As far as I’m concerned, McElwain has handled this bizarre situation as poorly as one could. There’s no way this story should have had any legs, yet they have grown from Gainesville to Hoover.

All McElwain had to do was laugh it off and move on to the next topic. It would have vanished from the news cycle in hours.

Instead, he continues to make a seemingly innocent case of mistaken identity into an indictment of his character. Look, nobody actually believes it’s McElwain mounting that shark. Some people in the world look alike, that’s all.

The few times he’s been asked about it — like my mother always said — he’s made a mountain out of a molehill. His tone gets serious. He chokes back tears. He talks about how the poisonous nature of Twitter has ruined his reputation and caused irreparable harm to him, the school he represents and the family he loves.

Asked about it for the first time by a student reporter back in May, the normally laid-back McElwain tensed up like a beartrap.

Sorry, Coach. This one is on you. It’s only a story because of the way you’ve handled it. This isn’t the media’s fault.

This is no different than when a kid is forced to go back to school after getting a bad haircut. If he just shrugs when the rest of the class teases him, the insults have no momentum and die a quick death.

However, if that same kid lets the jokes bother him and begins playing defense — I apologize in advance for the pun, as I hate puns — he may as well throw chum into shark-infested waters. The only place more relentless than an elementary school playground is a media workroom. Those headlines write themselves.

Asked about it for the first time by a student reporter back in May, the normally laid-back McElwain tensed up like a bear trap.

Credit: Jason Getz-USA TODAY Sports

“Well, first and foremost, I don’t know who it is, but it isn’t me,” he said, as if he were under oath in a court of law.

The writer, clearly not very experienced and unsure where to go from there, clumsily reworded his initial question in an effort to get McElwain to elaborate. The very nature of what’s news and what isn’t became a talking point.

“Well, I guess that’s for you guys to answer,” he said. “And, you know, in the world we live, what is a story? I just know this: It isn’t me.”

McElwain could have brushed this dirt off his shoulders like Jay-Z.

Go to Google right now — better yet, after you read this column — and type “jim mcelwain” into the search field. Before you get to the letter “L” in his last name, the second choice from the top via auto-fill is “jim mcelwain shark photo.” The fourth choice is “jim mcelwain on shark.” That’s not Google’s fault. It’s McElwain’s.

Couple this with the fact that Media Days has been bereft of headlines. Never make a fool of yourself on a slow news day.

Do you think this is what I want to be writing about on Day 2 at the Wynfrey Hotel? Of course not. But Georgia coach Kirby Smart put the room to sleep. I’m indifferent on Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen’s taste in footwear, too.

The internet memes will be merciless. Sports talk radio shows will be playing the theme from “Jaws” ad nauseum. Don’t be surprised if you see a T-shirt soon playfully advertising “Jimmy Mac’s Deep Sea Fishing Excursions: What happens on the boat, stays on the boat.” Society’s thirst for kicking a man when he’s down is rarely quenched.

McElwain could have brushed this dirt off his shoulders like Jay-Z. But now it weighs on him like an anvil. An anvil with very sharp teeth.