Each week, I’ll be taking a coach to the bar. Not literally, although that would be way more cool. Whether they had a great game, a terrible game, or I just want to hang out with that coach for no real reason. Basically there is no metric here, I just get to choose, so deal with it.
This week’s bar buddy: Bret Bielema
As you may have noticed, and I know Arkansas fans have, I’ve had some fun with Bielema this week (it’s probably going to continue through the season by the way just fyi). It’s not totally his fault, he is a big personality and generally has a lot to say. That is all well and good, especially when you win. Which the Razorbacks managed to this week ending a 10-game losing streak.
If we were to have a conversation, I imagine it would go something like this:
MD- “Coach, thanks for meeting me”
BB- “I’M VERY EXCITED TO BE HERE, I’M GOING TO SHOW THE WORLD WHAT I’M ALL ABOUT!”
MD- “Coach, it’s just us, you don’t need to yell, and we know you’re showing the world what you’re about.”
BB -“Sorry, I get excited.”
MD- “Yes, I know. Okay, so first win of the season, breaking the losing streak of 10 games…”
BB- “THAT’S WHAT WE’RE ABOUT AT ARKANSAS!”
MD- “Coach, the yelling, it’s got to stop. Moving on, what’s the deal with the windbreakers? I always just thought it was cold every day in Wisconsin, but you’re in Arkansas now, I know for a fact it’s plenty hot there.”
BB- “I guess it’s just a superstition.”
MD- “You lost 10 games in a row.”
BB- “That’s beside the point.”
MD- “What is the point?”
BB- “I just like windbreakers.”
MD- “Okay, fine. So, you’ve got a win, how do you build on that moving forward? What are your expectations for the rest of the season?”
BB- “We are going to win every game and win big.”
MD- “Very confident coach. Many people think you have the toughest schedule in all of football, playing Texas A&M, Alabama, and Georgia all in a row at home, then later LSU and Ole Miss. Not to mention getting Mississippi State and Missouri on the road.”
BB- “We don’t lose at home, so that’s a lot of wins right there.”
MD- “I’m sorry, what? You lost 4 times at home last year”
BB- “IT’S A NEW DAY!”
MD- [head in hands] “Okay, I think I know where the rest of this is going. I’ll just pay the bill, thanks for your time.”
BB- “I challenge.”
MD- “What?”
BB- “I challenge.”
MD- “Coach, what are you challenging? You can’t just challenge random things”
BB- “Oh.”
MD- “Is that what happened against Nicholls State?”
BB- “I just got bored I guess.”
MD- “Right. See ya coach. Good luck”
BB- “WOO PIG SOOIE!”
MD- “Okay.”
Worked for the internet in Los Angeles before being lured back to Florida by SEC football and the promise of a bourbon bar. When he's not internetting or watching football, he's probably out giving himself 4-footers on the golf course.
