Sometimes, not everything that needs to be said can be said over a network broadcast. So that’s why we are bringing you Saturday Down South’s Uncensored Commentary of the LSU vs. Alabama game: 

After half a season of hype, it’s finally time for the “Game of the Century.” The president is here, College GameDay is here, and the world is on the edge of their seat to see which of these teams will win and make the Playoff and which team will lose and … still probably make the Playoff.

Let’s find out:

1Q: 15:00

Alabama gets the ball first and we’ll get an immediate look at Tua’s ankle. As it turns out, it doesn’t really matter how healthy your ankle is when your running back can take the ball 31 yards into LSU territory on his first touch. Or when your receiver can take a shovel pass around the corner and into the red zone on the next play.

But after a few quick strikes, Bama faces a big 3rd-and-goal. It’s the first big test for Tua and his ankle, and in a cruel twist of fate it’s his hand that betrays him. He drops the ball right into the hands of the LSU defense and the Bama crowd is stunned.

10:22

In case you didn’t know, LSU has pretty good receivers, too. Especially when Joe Burrow is the one throwing to them. The Tigers go down the field in just a few plays and score on a perfect throw and catch to Ja’Marr Chase.

LSU takes its first lead since, well, a long time, 7-0.

7:45

You know it’s a big-time game when insane chaos strikes the Bama special teams unit. The Alabama punter drops the snap like it’s Penn State in the rankings next week and LSU recovers in great field position. One play later the Bama defense gets a pick, but it’s called back because it had 12 men on the field. You get the sense that Nick Saban is one bad play from kicking President Trump out of the stadium for being bad luck.

LSU 10-0.

3:15

CBS shows a very graphic representation of Tua’s reconstructed ankle. It’s gross. But so is the Alabama offense. The Tide have to punt again and momentum is all on LSU’s side.

Enter Jaylen Waddle. He goes back to receive a punt, gets flung around by his own facemask … and still outruns the entire LSU punt coverage team into the end zone. It’s amazing how fast someone can run when they’re not recovering from surgery.

Alabama closes within 10-7.

2Q: 15:00

We’ve seen just about everything in this game so far, well except for a Joe Burrow incompletion. He makes it look easy against this Alabama defense and LSU responds with a touchdown before the chorus of “Sweet Home Alabama” can even finish.

In a touching tribute to the Alabama kickers of the past, LSU misses the extra point. Classy move by Coach O.

LSU 16-7.

10:37

It’s a big 4th-and-1 for the Tide at midfield. Bama is desperate for some type of good news on offense, and they won’t get it here, either. Even after a review, the refs say it’s LSU ball. When Bama isn’t getting the favorable calls at Bryant-Denny, you know it’s not their day.

6:31

Just when things start to look pretty bleak for Alabama, Tua finds DeVonta Smith for a 60-yard touchdown. Turns out it’s hard to cover Bama’s receivers, especially when you’re still looking at your coach on the sideline as they’re running past you.

Alabama misses the extra point. They’re back!

LSU 16-13.

1:26

Joe Burrow has an answer for everything, though. Once again he effortlessly leads LSU down the field and even threw a couple of incompletions just to make things look fair. It’s like when you’re cheating on a test and miss a few on purpose, so it doesn’t look suspicious. Clyde Edwards-Helaire hurdles into the end zone and the Tigers go back up by 2 touchdowns. Cade York, who atoned for the missed PAT with a long field goal, makes the PAT this time.

LSU 26-13.

0:26

The announcers remind us LSU gets the ball first after halftime, which means they can really put Bama in a hole, or Tua can just let them do it now. He throws an awful interception and one play later, LSU is back in the end zone.

What is happening?

LSU 33-13.

3Q: 15:00

LSU gets the ball to start the half. Just one more touchdown might be enough to put this one away. But you know a Nick Saban team isn’t going down this easy, unless of course it’s Clemson in the National Championship Game. They get a clutch a strip sack of Burrow and Bama is in business.

Unfortunately, the Alabama offense looks like it might be closed for business. Four plays and a punt, and this Bama team is desperately in need of some juice.

11:13

Saban knows this team needs some energizing, so he breaks out his secret weapon: Mac Daddy Jones warming up on the sidelines. He’s not coming in, but just knowing he’s there has to fire up this crowd. To swing matters more in Bama’s favor, it’s now dark enough to turn on the lights.

All this combined is too much for LSU to fight off. Tua finds Najee Harris in the end zone and Bama is within striking distance.

LSU 33-20.

4:27

LSU has to punt and suddenly this game looks like it’s changing quickly. Najee Harris is taking over and putting the team on his enormous, ripped back. He carries the Tide down the field and eventually into the end zone. The crowd is going crazy, and Gary Danielson is going even crazier.

LSU 33-27.

4Q: 15:00

Now it’s Joe Burrow’s turn to make something happen. And’s it gonna take more than Gary Danielson and some strobe lights to intimidate Joe Burrow. He cooly leads the Tigers right down the field, picking up some back-breaking 3rd downs along the way. Edwards-Helaire glides into the end zone and the Tigers regain a 2-score lead. LSU Nation can breathe again.

LSU 39-27.

7:17

Pressure is on for Tua now, and on a big 4th-and-6 he fires a bullet for a 1st down. Then 4 plays later, on 4th-and-goal, he throws an even better pass to Jerry Jeudy for the touchdown. This is not your grandma’s Alabama/LSU game.

LSU 39-34.

4:13

With the game on the line, Joe Burrow completes his transformation into the Mother of Dragons. He runs through tackles on 3rd down, steps into big throws, and is as cool and calm as a Joe Buck broadcast. On the edge of the goal line, Edwards-Helaire powers through to the end zone to end the game … or so we thought.

LSU 46-34.

1:33

Alabama is the Michael Myers/Freddy Krueger of college football, you have to kill them at least 5 times before they’re finally dead. Just when LSU thought it finished them off, DeVonta Smith goes streaking down the sideline for an 85-yard touchdown.

Now the game rides on an onside kick, which bounces up and into the arms of LSU. It’s finally over. Tigers win. Coach O tears up, and so does Gary Danielson but for different reasons.

The Tigers finally slay Bama. Unless, of course … they meet again (cue Halloween piano music).

FINAL: LSU 46-41.