We love college football.
But nothing is without its slight imperfections. From our couches to the stadium, some aspects of college football can grate on our nerves — and not just the Florida State tomahawk chop.
As the 2015 college football season draws near, we take a look at 25 of our college football pet peeves:
1. Barking Georgia fans.
Barking is fine; but barking in my face gets you hit with a rolled-up newspaper.
2. The “I Believe That We Will Win” chant.
I believe you stole Navy’s shtick.
3. Being told to sit down.
It’s third-and-long. Why are you sitting … in the student section, no less?
4. Defenders who celebrate after making easy tackles.
The ball-carrier gained yards on the play. Why are you dancing and pointing to the sky?
5. Blind referees.
I mean, the Pac-12 SEC officials are the worst, right?
6. Games against FCS opponents.
Dear NCAA: we’d like to see these come to an end. Sincerely, Florida, Michigan, Iowa State, Kansas State, Oregon State, Virginia Tech…
7. Uniform pants that don’t match the helmets.
I don’t want to get all Ed Hardy or anything, but come on, Notre Dame.
8. Fans who schedule their weddings during games.
Full disclosure? I did this, but only because my team stunk that year. As for karma, they upset the No. 8 team in the nation that day. D’oh.
9. TV timeouts (at the game).
Just more time for the Georgia fan to bark in my ear.
10. ESPN’s insistence on naming every week.
Rivalry Week? Showdown Saturday? How about the “Shut Up and Play Football” Week?
11. Off-campus stadiums.
Ahem, South Carolina, everyone else in the SEC plays on campus. Just saying.
12. TV timeouts (in your home).
There’s only 11 minutes or so of actual football played in any given game — less than the amount of time we spend watching Bud Light commercials.
13. Acting surprised when Lee Corso puts on head gear.
He’s worn 257 hats on College GameDay since 1987. The surprise factor is over.
14. Using the term “we” when describing your team.
You must be on the practice squad, because I don’t remember seeing you on the field last Saturday.
15. Coach interviews on the sideline right before the start of a half.
Has anyone ever actually learned something from these interviews?
16. The shirtless guy with the body paint bumping into you in line.
Anyone know how to get a garnet-colored stain out of a T-shirt?
17. Fallout Boy’s “Centuries.”
How do you know you’re playing a song too much during the College Football Playoffs, ESPN? When the band feels the need to apologize for you over-playing it. Same goes for “Seven Nation Army.”
18. Rising ticket prices.
Georgia owns the highest average ticket price on the secondary market at $209, followed by Alabama at $165 and LSU at $151. Criminal.
19. West Coast fans complaining about East Coast bias.
We saw your game. We still think we’re better.
20. Giant cardboard cut-out heads of players.
I just paid $209 to watch the back of a six-foot-tall cardboard sign.
21. Stadium bathrooms.
At least Auburn got rid of the troughs in Jordan-Hare Stadium.
22. Putting “THE” in front of your school name.
Keep your definite articles to yourself, Ohio State.
23. Referring to your school as a “nation.”
News flash, Florida State, the real “Seminole Nation” has nothing to do with football.
24. Fans who yell “PI!” every passing play.
You’re the same guy who yells “get in the hole!” at golf tournaments, aren’t you?
25. Your team losing.
Nothing’s worse.
Chris Wuensch is a contributing writer for Saturday Down South. He covers South Carolina and Tennessee.
