A weekly discussion on SEC stars and how they rank on the Johnny Football Index.
The Johnny Football Index
In college football, we rank things. We rank teams. We rank players. We plug numbers into computers to spit out additional rankings. We rank our rankings.
In a new running series here on SDS, our goal will be to rank players, but this time a little differently. This isn’t about raw ability, though it’s a contributing factor. This isn’t about wins and losses, though it’s an important consideration. Rather, it’s something of an attention index.
We’ll be using a new formula where we attempt to combine a few different factors to create a clear way of rankings players according to their news making ability. It factors in ability, celebrity and off-the-field antics. To provide clarity, let’s consider some historical examples. Cam Newton was a 10 on ability, an 8 with regards to celebrity and let’s just say a 9 with regards to off-field antics (after all, not all his antics were proven). That’s a damn good score. A 27 crushes essentially any active SEC player today. But it doesn’t crush everyone in recent memory.
There’s one player – a rather recent one – that achieved a perfect score in this ranking. His name is Johnny “Football” Manziel. His ability? Ten. His celebrity? Ten. His off-field antics? A ten. Think about it. This guy parties in Vegas, flies into Tuscaloosa to take out Saban’s unstoppable football team, then goes and hangs out with Lebron James. That’s a standard weekend for this guy. Are you kidding me? We didn’t give this guy even close to enough credit for his awesomeness. Rather than criticize his celebrity and his lifestyle, we should be celebrating it. Well, that’s exactly what we’re doing today. Yes, Johnny scores a perfect 30. Even more, we are honoring his perfect score by naming the index after him.
Please allow me to introduce the Johnny Football Index.
The Johnny Football Index (JFI) is essentially an number to indicate one’s ability to grab our attention. Our goal is to measure SEC stars, both current and former, against this index. Our method for doing so will be in the form of a draft. Myself (Mack) and colleague Kevin will be building opposing teams of awesomeness one player at a time. As the season progresses, we will add to our teams and re-evaluate the scores for each player based on current events.
The Draft
Each week, Kevin and Mack will draft a player (or coach) to fill out a roster. Upon drafting an individual, the selector will also propose a JFI score for that player. As the season progresses, we will update the scores based on on-field performance and off-field headlines. At the end of the year, we’ll tally it up and announce a winning roster. And so we begin…
Kevin: With the first pick in the 2014 Johnny Football Index draft, I select Leonard Fournette.
Mack: Wow. Going with the freshman, huh?
Kevin: Yes. His performance last week sold me. I’m overpaying for him currently by using my first overall pick, but when it comes to the current crop of SEC players, I think by mid-season Leonard Fournette will be a veteran when it comes to jaw dropping moments.
Mack: Does this have anything to do with his Heisman pose against Sam Houston State?
Kevin: I’m glad you asked, Mack. The answer is yes. His touchdown was nice, but I was immediately sold on him when he struck the Heisman pose in his 2nd game / 1st score ever as an LSU Tiger. I mean this guy is going all in on his own Heisman campaign this early in the season? How can you not respect that. He’s an easy choice for me. Plus, if you take Dak Prescott out of the equation (I know, hard to do), he’s one of the most intriguing players this season in the SEC. I’m hitching my wagon to Fournette. He will lead my team to a JFI championship.
Mack: Wow, that is a lot of confidence in what is mostly hype at this point. Sure, I’ve heard he can run like a 3.5 40, but let’s not forget he ran for 18 yards on 8 carries against an actual team in Wisconsin. That’s an astounding average of 2.3 yards-per-carry. That being said, I’m a little upset that you arbitrarily got the first pick, because I would have taken Fournette as well.
Kevin: As a Florida fan, I like to think that Fournette has Tebow’s strength, Percy’s speed and Channing Crowder’s lifestyle. Hence, Fournette being at the top of my big board.
Mack: Okay, so you’ve made your pick, let’s figure out exactly where he comes in on the JFI index. What are you looking at for his score?
Kevin: I’ve given this plenty of thought. Fournette’s ability is high, though he hasn’t had the luxury of playing in the SEC for more than two weeks, so it’s still mostly hype. I’m going to say his ability is a 6. Though, it’s got the potential to skyrocket. His celebrity is mostly based upon the recruiting hype he received which is probably about as high as I can remember since Mr. Clowney a few years back. I’m going to give him a 6 again on his Celebrity ranking. Lastly, we turn to the Shenanigans component of his score. This is based solely on the Heisman pose. While a great moment, it’s a relatively minor incident. The fact that it was on his first touchdown helps – a Heisman pose on week 2, TD#1 is far more impactful to his JFI score than a week 9, TD#6 Heisman pose. In an effort to maintain the integrity of the JFI, I’m going to give him a 3. Totaling up the numbers, we get 6 + 6 + 3 = 15. Your rebuttal?
Mack: I tend to agree with most of that. Combining the two weeks feels more like a 5, a 1 for Wisconsin, and a 10 for Sam Houston State, but it being Sam Houston State, more of a 9. Would Fournette be the first pick if not for the Heisman pose in week 2? Probably not. But, it was so audacious, it rockets him to the top.
Kevin: Let the record show that Leonard Fournette is a 15 on the JFI. You’re on the clock.
Mack: With my first pick, and the second pick overall, I select Nicholas Marshall of the Auburn Tigers.
Kevin: Marshall! You think he’s got what it takes to beat Fournette?
Mack: Well, I think he could, and he’s a little further along talent-wise, being that he’s got a full season under his belt. I’m going to put up that he is an 8 on the talent scale. I don’t see him coming down from that, and could potentially go higher as the season progresses. He received some pre-season hype for a Heisman contender, so if he gets in that stratosphere, we could be talking a 10. In terms of celebrity, outside of Auburn, he is probably lacking a little bit. But, again, this could change with a Heisman candidacy. I think he is a 5 in celebrity right now. For Shenanigans stuff, outside of a run-in with a drug that is legal in a number of states, he’s pretty clean. I’m pretty much banking on him buying into his own stardom and going to some parties and hanging out with some famous people, which definitely could happen. I say 3 on shenanigans. That gets him to a 16. What say you?
Kevin: Does Gus Malzahn help or hurt Nick Marshall’s JFI score? In one sense, you can attribute much of his ability score – an 8 as you say – to Malzahn’s system. A great athlete, but perhaps an average quarterback that is made into a great quarterback because of the Malzahn scheme. However, if we were to score Gus Malzahn himself on the JFI scale, I’d say he’s a 10 on ability while a couple goose eggs on the subsequent components leaving him with a flat 10. Have you heard him speak? It’s tough to watch. I’m willing to accept a 16 on Marshall, but he’s at risk of dropping in the coming weeks depending on Auburn’s play – we also have failed to mention thus far that there’s another QB for Auburn that looked pretty sharp in week 1.
I’m also a little concerned that we’ve set a precedent in week 1 of simply agreeing to the proposed scores for each player. I’m expecting more disagreement in the coming weeks.
Mack: Without a doubt Gus hurts. I would argue that Gus is actually negative in the other two metrics. I can pretty much guarantee there will be more disagreements in the coming months, because at this rate, we’re going to have to stretch to make some arguments for celebrity and shenanigans. Why can’t someone get bottle service and invite Leo Dicaprio? This is the SEC dammit. Okay so the final number is Fournette 15, Marshall 16. I think this is a good start. I’m pretty excited for the season and am desperate for someone – someone meaning my pick – to break out and get close to that perfect score. The SEC usually has some twists and turns, and at least in the past, generates at least one star for us to focus on. Closing thoughts?
Kevin: Yes, I will go ahead and bet my firstborn that we’re not getting close to a perfect score in 2014. I’d be content with a few guys breaching the low 20’s to be honest. I’ve been saying it for months, there’s a lack of star power in the SEC in 2014. Heading into the 2013 season, we had a Manziel hoopla and a genetic superman in Clowney to drive interest. This year we have….
Mack: LANE KIFFIN!
Kevin: YES. Speaking of, rules of the JFI 2014 Draft dictate selecting a coach for your team.
Mack: Did you just make that rule up?
Kevin: Yes, but please don’t interrupt. I’m interested to see when the first coach comes off the board. It’s kind of like when that guy takes a defense in fantasy football in like round 4. Though, with the potential players currently in the league, maybe a coach should go sooner rather than later? I’ll give you the last words…
Mack: Coaches. I love it. Coaches may even be more entertaining than players at this point. Now you’ve got my wheels turning. I’ve always been pretty terrible at Fantasy Football, so don’t rule out me taking a coach way too “early.” Now the question becomes, how desperate do you have to be to stoop down to the coordinator level? Since this is a competition of sorts, I will close with this: may your players always go to class, spend their time in the library and stay out of the news. Here’s to a great season [somewhere JFM rips a shot in agreement].
Results After Week 1
| Pick | Personnel (Team) | Ability | Celebrity | Antics | JFI Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Leonard Fournette (Kevin) | 6 | 6 | 3 | 15 |
| 1 | Nick Marshall (Mack) | 8 | 5 | 3 | 16 |
Round one is in the books. Round two occurs in one week.
Worked for the internet in Los Angeles before being lured back to Florida by SEC football and the promise of a bourbon bar. When he's not internetting or watching football, he's probably out giving himself 4-footers on the golf course.
