The SEC cops have their work cut out for them in the newest SEC Shorts.
The post-Week 5 sketch opens with the SEC police investigating Alabama’s beatdown of Mississippi State in Starkville. The recovery of 4 turnovers and 8 touchdowns at the scene leads the police to speculate that Alabama might be “back,” consulting a retired cop from the “joyless murderball” era of Crimson Tide dominance under former coach Nick Saban.
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The SEC cops, however, quickly have their focus turned away to a different case. Florida, which entered Week 5 as an undefeated top-10 team, has been taken out. This leads to a conference-wide investigation.
The investigation shows that Arkansas is doing poorly. Auburn and Tennessee are determined not to be threats to anyone. Georgia is suspected of harming Florida, but is focused on torturing Vanderbilt, as the Bulldogs did on the gridiron in Week 5.
Despite recovering evidence that Mizzou was the team to batter Florida, the SEC cops won’t even consider the Tigers. Even when video makes it clear, the SEC cops still refuse to consider Mizzou.
Mizzou gets away with it and congratulates a similarly ignored Kentucky.
SEC Cops investigate if Bama is back. presented by: @renasant https://t.co/Oy9tgeJOje
— SEC Shorts (@SECShorts) October 5, 2026
Andrew writes about sports to fund his love of live music and collection of concert posters. He strongly endorses the Hall of Fame campaign of Fred Taylor.
