We’re having some fun as we approach the 2015 college football season by looking at ten headlines that we do not expect to see in the news come the fall. Today, we take a look at Part 1 and the first five headlines. Stay tuned for Part 2 next week.

1. Texas A&M quarterback files for nickname trademark

Nicknames and trademarks. That’s what Aggie QBs do….

…But the trend will likely end with last season’s Kenny Trill debacle. When new starter Kenny Hill lit up the South Carolina defense during the opening game of the 2014 season, Johnny Manziel’s previous two record breaking seasons instantly became a distant memory. Hill threw for 511 yards on the road in his first start at South Carolina (a number that Manziel never did in a single game), and the hype machine kicked into full gear overnight.

Hill’s family didn’t let September expire before filing for the “Kenny Trill” trademark which became his widely known nickname. At least Johnny Football waited a full season before filing for his trademark – specifically, a Heisman winning season. In the end, Kenny Hill didn’t even finish the 2014 season as the starting quarterback for the Aggies, so the trademark request has become a bit of a punchline. We don’t expect a similar move for Kyle Allen in 2015, but it sure would be fantastic if he did!

Side note: On the “Trill” nickname. What does it actually mean, you ask? Urbandictionary.com defines it as:

An adjective used in hip-hop culture to describe someone who is considered to be well respected, coming from a combination of the words “true” and “real”.

It’s not just Kenny Hill who embraced the word “Trill” as part of his name. Kentucky basketball player Willie Cauley-Stein, who is expected to be a lottery pick in this month’s NBA Draft, legally changed his middle name to Trill last month. In all seriousness, his legal name is Willie Trill Cauley-Stein. Does this help or hurt his draft position?

Second side note: Johnny Football has actually filed up to ten trademarks according to recent reports. Last season, it was reported that Manziel & Co. filed for the “Johnny Cleveland” trademark which was the 10th trademark requested by him and his organization. Other requested trademarks include JFF, ManzIIiel and The House That Johnny Built.

Your move Kyle Allen…

2. Nick Saban and Lane Kiffin jointly purchase vacation home

Saban and Kiffin’s 2014 marriage worked out pretty well. The Alabama offense soared and was a big reason for the Crimson Tide winning the SEC Championship and landing a spot in the first ever playoff field.

Despite the success on the field, we don’t expect the two to pull a Jimbo Fisher-Will Muschamp and go in together on a vacation property.

In addition to producing on the field, Kiffin gained likability points by offering a self-deprecating, hilarious look into the relationship of he and his boss during his speech at the 2014 Broyles Awards:

In 2015, Alabama will have a new starting quarterback and no Amari Cooper. Is there more potential for some fireworks between Saban and Kiffin on the sidelines? It’s likely a better bet than the joint vacation home.

3. Charlie Weis named head coach of (any team)

Every year in May we get a string of articles on various media outlets with the updated number that Charlie Weis is still owed by various institutions. Unfortunately for Notre Dame, the top school related headlines in May were regarding where former QB Everett Golson would transfer, and yes, the fact that the Irish still pay Charlie Weis $2 million a year.

According to the recent ESPN article, Weis has already been paid $14,857,379 to not coach Notre Dame and will earn an additional $4 million (approximate) before the deal is all said and done.

Oh, but it’s not just Notre Dame. It’s also Kansas who is paying Charlie Weis to do nothing. When Weis was canned four games into his third season as Kansas coach, he was still owed $5.63 million. He’s been paid monthly by Kansas since he was fired and the payments will continue until the end of 2016.

I think it’s safe to say that we don’t expect another program to bring on Charlie Weis to lead a football team any time soon.

Is it also safe to say that Charlie Weis has basically made tens of millions of dollars as a result of Tom Brady? Weis of course was the offensive coordinator under Belichick of the New England Patriots from 2000 to 2004 when the Patriots won three super bowls.

4. Ohio State lacking depth at quarterback

When Ohio State’s third string quarterback, Cardale Jones, led the Buckeyes to a Big Ten Championship and two consecutive playoff wins over Alabama and Oregon to win a national championship, the college football world immediately assumed that at least one of the Ohio State quarterbacks would transfer prior to the 2015 season.

Braxton Miller (the original starter heading into last season) was the quarterback most assumed would transfer. Miller has already graduated from Ohio State and could play immediately at another program without having to sit out a season. There is some speculation that perhaps Miller’s shoulder injury from last year is quite serious and his quarterbacking ability has been severely diminished.

J.T. Barrett was a star in Urban Meyer’s spread attack all season long. He injured his ankle at the end of the regular season allowing Jones to take over as the starter heading into the Big Ten Championship Game.

Most assume Jones will start the season opener, but some oddsmakers say otherwise:

Could we see a repeat of the 2006 Gators where Meyer rotated Chris Leak and Tim Tebow? Possibly. Either way the Buckeyes are loaded at QB.

5. Bob Stoops admits SEC superiority

Big Game Bob has been one of the most vocal SEC critics in recent years. In the past, Stoops led his campaign with his “look at the bottom half of the SEC” strategy when he constantly remarked that the Big 12’s crappy teams were better than the SEC’s crappy teams (an argument we had plenty of fun with).

More recently, Stoops of course has fired off at Alabama after Oklahoma handled the Tide in the 2014 Sugar Bowl.

It’s likely that we get some juicy comments out of Stoops this summer during media days, but he typically clams up as games get underway. Stoops isn’t likely to provide any locker room material for the Vols ahead of their week two showdown in Neyland Stadium.

Wouldn’t it be fascinating if Tennessee beat Oklahoma but lost to Kentucky in 2015? Then, maybe Mark and Bob can debate who is the better Stoops family head coach?

Stay tuned for Part 2 of 10 headlines we don’t expect to see in 2015…