The fourth week of the NCAA season is in the books and I’m more confused about Dabo Swinney’s 4th down decision making in OT than Jameis Winston is about proper sideline attire when serving a one game suspension.  Saturday was a slow build that ended strongly, and didn’t disappoint to fuel my fire for this week’s Shocks, Shanks and Chafes.

Biggest Shock: More cowbell, baby.  I’m rather stunned by the 34-10 lead Mississippi State manufactured at night in Baton Rouge.  A lot of folks were calling for a Bulldog upset, but my heart and brain just couldn’t wrap around anything but an LSU win.  Dak Prescott was stellar and shined a big bright spotlight on himself and the program as MSU dropped LSU for the first time in Tiger Stadium since 1991.

Yet I was certain The Mad Hatter would stage a comeback.  And it came, despite Dillon Day smashing his fat feet on a few Tiger defenders as his greasy, yellow mane billowed in the air.  It was the worst act of jumping since Jameis Winston leaped on a table at the FSU union and went all 2 Live Crew.  Ultimately LSU’s revival came short as the last second heave by Brandon Harris was picked off with time expiring.

It’s a great win for MSU.  Let’s see where they go from here with Texas A&M and Auburn back to back after a week off this Saturday.  Let’s also see where LSU goes as they work to find their groove on offense.  They might be able to tune that up a bit this weekend against New Mexico State before Auburn the following week.

Biggest Shank: Ah, Missouri.  I’ll channel my inner Coach Harris from Revenge of the Nerds:  You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down upon you and had one wish: “Someday my son will grow up to be a man”. Well look at you now; you just got your asses whipped, by a team from The Big 10.  THE BIG 10!!

This is just Indiana’s 4th ever non-conference road win against a ranked opponent and comes a week after losing to Bowling Green.  If you’re going to lose to a Big 10 opponent – and you shouldn’t – at least let it be Michigan, Ohio State or one of those other so-called “Legends”.  This was a bad loss to a bad team for a Missouri squad so desperately trying to prove its value to the SEC.  I was more disappointed than Jameis Winston finding out he was still suspended for OT against Clemson Saturday night.

Biggest Chafe: I hate Will Muschamp.  I don’t know what it is about his face, but I want to deliver a solid blow right in his suck hole.  This isn’t bandwagon hatred, mind you. I was sitting in Buffalo Wild Wings having a delicious meal with my family when his hiring scrolled across the ticker on ESPN and I yelled out some adult language.  I got dirty looks from other tables, and at Buffalo Wild Wings getting pointed glares is a splendid yet concerning achievement.

When the only person in the entire state of Florida that seems to lack more common sense than you is Jameis Winston, its soul searching time.  It took exactly ONE minute into the Alabama/Florida game for me to realize that yet again Muschamp didn’t have his team properly prepared for a game.  Apparently Lane Kiffin watched the footage of the Florida secondary getting torched by Kentucky.  Will Muschamp must have fast-forwarded those parts in film session.  One play and 87 yards later Kenyan Drake was celebrating in the end zone.

Muschamp continues to rack up records at Florida, only not the ones you want, as The Gators surrendered the most yards ever in school history to Alabama on Saturday.  Promises have been made that this team will get better yet it’s gotten progressively worse over the last 16 games played.

It’s not going to get easier these next few weeks. Tennessee is better and on the road.  LSU and Missouri may be in a discovery phase, but they’re still ahead of UF.   And as a friend of mine so eloquently stated, I’ll bet my two thumbs that Florida loses to Georgia.

Right now it’s looking like another 4-win season for The Gators.  Injuries were the excuse last year, and without that to turn to this campaign I just don’t know how Jeremy Foley allows him to keep his job.  If that happens, the next big question out there is “who’s next?”

The cynic in me says anyone can do a better job than Muschamp.  Bring in Larry Coker from UTSA.  He has a national championship and has done more with The Roadrunners and a brand new program in the same four years that Will E. Coyote has been dropping anvils on his head at UF.

Wheel Buddy Ryan out there to coach the team.  Unlike Muschamp, he is a true defensive genius and would punch anyone in the larynx who ever tried to suggest Jeff Driskel is a good quarterback.

How about Bobby Petrino?I’d give him a slew of 25-year old mistresses and all of the motorcycles he wanted to crash if he could give me a QB that averages more than 6.1 yards per lob.

The realist in me, however, thinks there’s some legitimate talent out there to call on that could make a huge difference at Florida.  Dana Holgerson, Dan Mullen and Kyle Whittingham all have HC experience and would be a welcome change.  But as I mentioned, I’m at a point where I’ll take anyone other than the man roaming the sidelines at Florida Field that makes me want to burn my jorts and rip up my diploma.

My Lousy Predictions: I hit .500 this week with a 4-4 record ATS and give myself an extra self high-five for nailing Georgia’s 66 points on the head. I’m 13-15 and gaining momentum, which means I’m ripe for a 2-5 run this weekend. Here we go….

Game of the Week

Arkansas @ #6 Texas A&M (-10): The #3 scoring offense visits the #2 scoring offense. This one opened at -15.5, so despite the love affair in College Station for The Aggies, Vegas is noticing that things are getting better for The Razorbacks.  This is their 71st meeting which Arkansas leads 41-26-3.  A&M’s been coasting, but…. My Prediction: Hogs 45, Aggies 41

Game of the Weak

New Mexico State @ #17 LSU (-44.5): These teams met in 1996 when Gerry DiNardo was the coach at LSU who rolled 63-7.  Gerry DiNardo also coached Indiana, who beat Missouri on Saturday.  And that’s how you play “Six Degrees of DiNardo.”  My Prediction: Tigers 51, Aggies 6

Other Games in Play

Missouri @ #13 South Carolina (-6.5): The Gamecocks struggled more against Vandy than most expected, but coming off the huge UGA win that wasn’t a shocker.  In case you haven’t heard, Mizzou losing to Indiana was.  My Prediction: Cocks 31, Tigers 21

Tennessee @ #12 Georgia (-17.5): The Vols have dropped 3 straight in Athens.  I really think things are improving for UT, but I also think Georgia’s on a warpath for a while following the lost to SoCar.  My Prediction: Dawgs 37, Vols 17

Vanderbilt @ Kentucky (-14.5): The ‘Dores have a 3 game winning streak against UK in which they’ve outscored the Cats 100-14.  I expect different results this time around.  My Prediction: UK 40, Vandy 19

Louisiana Tech @ #5 Auburn (-33): Tech is coming off a home loss to The Northwestern State Demons, a team that lost by 64 to Baylor without Bryce Petty.  Should be pretty.  My Prediction: WAR EAGLE 55, Bulldogs 17

Memphis @ #10 Ole Miss (-20): Memphis played UCLA tough on the road a few weeks ago, and never underestimate the passion of a lesser school in close proximity.  I expect that passion to flame out quickly, though.  My Prediction: Rebels 44, Tigers 14

ROWDAMNTIDEROW, Mississippi State and Florida have byes this week.  Jeff Driskel can go over throw some fish bowls in a game of ring toss at the Haggerty High School Fall Carnival.

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