Congratulations, you sly dog. She said “yes.”
Asking her to marry you at her favorite restaurant on Valentine’s Day was the right way to go — and much better than your original idea to ask for her hand in marriage on the Jumbotron at Jordan-Hare Stadium.
Now comes the planning. That’s where we come in, to impart some painful lessons learned while juggling love and football like a hapless receiver being knocked out-of-bounds.
Don’t be like me, who cruelly discovered between cocktail-hour-h’orderves at my wedding that my alma mater upended Marshawn Lynch, DeSean Jackson and No. 8 Cal some 15 miles down the road.
We have you covered if you can’t talk her into a summer wedding or eloping during a bye week with our handy SEC wedding pocket guide. We’ve broken down your options for dates to schedule your bachelor party, games you can’t miss and weekends where it’s OK to take the walk down the aisle.
ALABAMA
Bachelor party: Week 3 at Ole Miss – We’re all packing in your buddy’s car and cruising over to Oxford for one last hurrah. Plus, we get a great early-season game as Alabama seeks revenge on Chad Kelly and Ole Miss for last year’s upset.
Take the plunge: Week 4 vs. Kent State – Last week in Oxford was fun for you and serious for the Tide. This week the roles are flipped as you get married and Alabama has some fun in its second contest against Kent State. Trust me, you won’t miss anything in this game.
Don’t miss: The Iron Bowl vs. Auburn – If you have to persuade your spouse to let you watch this game, then perhaps you married the wrong person.
ARKANSAS
Bachelor party: Week 2 at TCU – We can’t stick around Fayetteville for the bachelor party, so we might as well go tear up the Dallas-Fort Worth area, while catching the Hogs as they take on TCU.
Take the plunge: Week 5 vs. Alcorn State – There aren’t too many breaks in the Arkansas schedule to plan nuptials around — especially when the Razorbacks get into the SEC West slate — so we’re tying the knot early in the season in Week 5 against Alcorn State and praying there isn’t a Toledo repeat.
Don’t miss: Week 11 vs. LSU – Arkansas is looking to upset and derail Leonard Fournette and LSU for the second year in the row. No way you want to miss that.
AUBURN
Bachelor party: Week 2 vs. Arkansas State – Auburn’s schedule is a bit of an anomaly with five consecutive home contests to start the season. That puts a kibosh on our travel plans for a bachelor party. Instead, we’re opting for Week 2’s contest against Arkansas State for an easy win. Plus, if history repeats, we’ll get another overtime win over an inferior opponent.
Take the plunge: Week 5 vs. Louisiana-Monroe – You’re not going to miss much when Auburn takes on the Warhawks, a team that is 0-3 against the Tigers. Plus, you can say your anniversary date is Oct. 1 or 10/01. She’ll love that and it should be easy for you to remember. Should be.
Don’t miss: Week 1 vs. Clemson – It goes without saying that you don’t miss the Iron Bowl in Week 13 against Alabama. Adding a bit of brutality to the Tigers’ schedule is a season-opener against Clemson. There’s no way you can miss it. She’ll understand the magnitude if Auburn pulls off the win.
FLORIDA
Bachelor party: Week 9 vs. Georgia – How could something called the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party not be ideal for a bachelor party? Oh yeah, and the winner between the Gators and Bulldogs puts themselves in great position to compete for the SEC East title.
Take the plunge: Week 12 vs Presbyterian – She is going to love planning a mid-November wedding in northern Florida and you won’t mind missing Florida roll the Blue Hose.
Don’t miss: Week 13 at Florida State – You don’t want to miss it if this is the year the Gator snap their three-game losing streak to the in-state rival Seminoles.
GEORGIA
Bachelor party: Week 1 vs. North Carolina – We’re not bumping into the Florida guys on their bachelor party. Instead, we’re spending one of our final weekends of freedom in Atlanta and catching the Bulldogs’ season-opener against North Carolina.
Take the plunge: Week 12 vs. Louisiana-Lafayette – This should be a popular weekend for weddings in the SEC, mostly because it’s traditionally a patsy week for most teams before wrapping up their seasons against bitter rivals. Save the hate for next week; this is the week for love.
Don’t miss: Week 5 vs Tennessee – Josh Dobbs and Tennessee doled Georgia a tough loss in 2015 and revenge will be on the Bulldogs’ minds when the Vols arrive between the hedges. You’re not going to want to miss it.
KENTUCKY
Bachelor party: Week 3 vs. New Mexico State – Kentucky doesn’t have too many premier destinations on its slate for a bachelor party, so we’re staying local, where we’re almost guaranteed a good day against the lowly New Mexico State. Sorry in advance, Lexington.
Take the plunge: Week 12 vs. Austin Peay – When you’re sitting around 10 years from now, are you really going to recall fondly that game between Kentucky and Austin Peay or your wedding day? Choose your future wife over the Governors on this day.
Don’t miss: Week 13 vs. Louisville – This could be the biggest game of the year for the Wildcats, especially if Mark Stoops’ squad has a chance to deal a blow to rival Louisville’s season.
LSU
Bachelor party: Week 1 vs. Wisconsin – We’re taking a less traditional approach on our bachelor party and heading to historic Lambeau Field to watch the Tigers and Badgers square off. Someone please cut us off before we consume our weight in beer and cheese.
Take the plunge: Week 2 vs. Jacksonville State – We’re marrying you off early, LSU fan. That way you can sit back and enjoy the rest of the season. Jacksonville State gave Auburn hell last year, but the Tigers shouldn’t have any trouble. This is one you can miss.
Don’t miss: Week 10 vs. Alabama – This could be the heavyweight title bout that determines the SEC champ. Plus, Leonard Fournette versus the Tide’s front-seven is can’t-miss football.
MISSISSIPPI STATE
Bachelor party: Week 4 at UMass – UMass gets thrown to the SEC wolves this season with contests against Florida, South Carolina and Mississippi State. The Minutemen’s previous experience with the conference were its three losses to Vanderbilt. We’re following the Bulldogs north to the Boston area in Week 4 to catch the game in Gillette Stadium.
Take the plunge: Week 9 vs. Samford – This is the perfect weekend to get hitched, allowing you to finish the season strong alongside the Bulldogs during their tough closing-stretch against Texas A&M and Arkansas in Starkville and versus Alabama and Ole Miss on the road.
Don’t miss: Week 13 Egg Bowl at Ole Miss – Chances are, if you’re marrying this woman, you’ve taken her to an Egg Bowl. So she gets it.
MISSOURI
Bachelor party: Week 1 at West Virginia – No offense, Mizzou, but your schedule is a bit of a snoozer. Delaware State? Middle Tennessee State? West Virginia is the most-appealing option here as a travel destination and a good ole-fashioned college scene of Morgantown could be fun. At least the game should a quality one between SEC and Big 12 foes.
Take the plunge: Week 4 vs. Delaware State – Pick one of the aforementioned weeks. If the Sept. 24 (Delaware State), isn’t ideal, then go with Oct. 22 (Middle Tennessee State). You won’t miss much, trust me.
Don’t miss: Week 12 at Tennessee – If Missouri is going to turn it around in 2016 under first-year head coach Barry Odom, its defense will have to go into Rocky Top and hold off the Tennessee ground game. It promises to be a classic matchup that you don’t want to miss while fumbling through those vows you wrote.
OLE MISS
Bachelor party: Week 1 vs. Florida State – Football? Bachelor party? Orlando? What could go wrong?
Take the plunge: Week 10 vs. Georgia Southern – Don’t worry, we’re not going to make you get married one week after getting back from Orlando. You can stay home and watch the Week 2 Wofford game and nurse your hangover. Instead, save the date of Week 10. Your shenanigans in Orlando made your forfeit the Georgia Southern game. Now get your tuxedo on.
Don’t miss: Week 3 vs. Alabama – Chad Kelly and Ole Miss look to shock Alabama for the third consecutive year. You can have your wedding on this Saturday, just don’t be surprised if half of your wedding party winds up in the hotel bar watching the game rather than doing the Humpty Dance on your dance floor.
SOUTH CAROLINA
Bachelor party: Week 1 at Vanderbilt – What better way to start the college football season than with a road trip to Nashville with your best buddies? The best part is, there’s a good chance your Gamecocks will actually win.
Take the plunge: Week 12 vs. Western Carolina – This is the ideal weekend to get married. If the Gamecocks lose for the second year in a row to an FCS school, you won’t want to be anywhere near Columbia, anyway.
Don’t miss: Week 13 at Clemson – Congrats on getting hitched last weekend. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to put off the honeymoon until next week, as the Palmetto Bowl between Clemson and South Carolina takes precedence.
TENNESSEE
Bachelor party: Week 2 vs. Virginia Tech – We’re getting our NASCAR on and heading to Bristol Motor Speedway to witness a battle on the infield between the Vols and Hokies, rather than two southern-fried rubes.
Take the plunge: Week 10 vs. Tennessee Tech – This might be Tennessee Tech’s biggest game of the year, but it’s definitely one you can sacrifice for the betterment of your marriage.
Don’t miss: Week 7 vs. Alabama – Tennessee returns the same team that took it to the Tide in Tuscaloosa last year only to fall short. If the Vols think they’re finally for real in 2016, this will be a critical game. If you ignore this advice and pick this date, there better be some great buffet options during that cocktail hour to make up for missing this game.
TEXAS A&M
Bachelor party: Week 4 vs. Arkansas – We’re heading to the Jerry Dome and other Dallas haunts in the name of football and debauchery under the guise of the “Southwest Classic.”
Take the plunge: Week 9 vs. New Mexico State – Sorry New Mexico State, but you’re our wedding-day sacrificial lamb. That’s what happens when your last winning season was in 2002. We’re sitting this one out and instead hoping no one gets hurt when you toss the garter belt.
Don’t miss: Week 13 vs. LSU – Everyone will be gunning for LSU in 2016 and the Aggies get the last shot at it in the regular season-finale. Kevin Sumlin’s program is looking to turn a corner, you’re going to want to be front-row center at Kyle Field for it, rather than kneeling in the front row of some pew.
VANDERBILT
Bachelor party: Week 3 at Georgia Tech – It’s wheels-up to Atlanta in Week 3 for likely to only time this season for the Vanderbilt football team. We’re following the Commodores to Hotlanta and seeing where the city takes us … after the game against the Yellow Jackets, of course.
Take the plunge: Week 8 vs. Tennessee State – It’s going to be hard enough to persuade regular fans to attend this game. Opt for the wedding this weekend. It’ll be more entertaining.
Don’t miss: Week 13 vs. Tennessee – Tennessee could be in a position to take the SEC East. Vanderbilt would love nothing more than to spoil that Vols’ celebration. It’s either watch the game or tell your drunken aunt she’s cut off from the open bar.
Chris Wuensch is a contributing writer for Saturday Down South. He covers South Carolina and Tennessee.
